Why does my wife insist on fucking her bull in private?

Discussion in 'Methods, Techniques and Advice' started by Overandover, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. MidAtlanticFun

    MidAtlanticFun Well-Known Member

    Capn.steve -

    First, this is an elaboration for understanding, not a retort to start a flame war. This thread and discussion is about Overandover / John, not me. I'm just trying to emphasize my points.

    Yes, plainly it's established she fucking the guy, that's not the question. The topic is WHY the wife does't want her husband to watch. That's the unanswered question. And there could be any number of reasons (or combo there of), including:

    --She's embarrassed/uncomfortable with her husband watching.
    --She simply enjoys it more when her husband isn't there, that's her personal kink.
    --She's afraid her husband being there will give a partner performance anxiety (as with Paul).
    --She wants more than a fuck, and doesn't want her husband to know.
    --She wants to fuck someone on the 'not allowed' list and not having husband around means she can do that without husband knowing.
    --The list goes on...

    Yes, I restated the obvious, but my point was that her expecting him to be a mind reader, and/or perceive everything exactly as she perceives it is unrealistic. It takes a little more maturity, and respect, to simply provide a short explanation than to demean someone for not understanding. And the motive behind her response may not be (primarily) to be dismissive and insulting. The real reason may possibly be to avoid telling him something she does't want him to know. And secrets in a relationship--most especially an unconventional relationship like swinging, hotwifing, cuckolding, et. al.--are poisonous and almost inevitably destructive. Communication and trust are paramount.

    Bottom line: Whether she's being a smart-ass, or being evasive (which possibly raises red flags), he has a legitimate question and is due an answer. If she's embarrassed to answer, she needs to get over it. If she's hiding something, she needs to come clean if she wants to try to maintain a healthy marriage relationship.

    Eric
     
  2. MidAtlanticFun

    MidAtlanticFun Well-Known Member

    John -

    I just read your post after posting my clarification, above. Just for the record I'm not a professional therapist.[​IMG]:) I'm glad I and others could lend a little help. It's just my opinion, but I think maybe your wife needs to work on her stubbornness and uncompromising foibles. But that's only my humble opinion, based on a few words you said. Only you can accurately assess your situation. I've never met your wife, and I'm no expert on your marriage, or anyone else's.

    Responding to a question with a threat is, well, just childish, in my opinion. But I base that on my views on marriage, and I don't claim to be perfect. My wife Mimi is my best friend, my wingman, and the love of my life. No, we don't have a perfect marriage (such a thing does not exist) and, when we were younger and newly married, yes, we had plenty of disagreements, as most couples do, due to the growing pains of transitioning from separate individuals to a 'life team'. But early we adopted a 'never give up on us' attitude, worked at communication (which my parents were always good at) and even went to a couple Marriage Encounters when we were younger to strengthen our relationships (note, Marriage Encounter is for healthy marriages, not ones in trouble). My dad never spent a night on the couch, and neither have I. That's nothing but a power play, not working toward a solution to a disagreement.

    A healthy relationship does not include a struggle for supremacy, with threats and ultimatums lobbed back and forth. That’s the behavior of competitors and enemies, not a team. And I believe, as a few others have posted on this site in different threads over time, that only an established, stable marriage is going to endure the unconventionalities of an alternative sex lifestyle.

    Again, I’m not telling anyone what their marriage should or should not be. I can only tell what my successful experience has been, and share what I--and a few others who have posted--believe. For some, a marriage with separate bank accounts, separate bedrooms and a ‘don’t fuck with me and I won’t fuck with you’ arrangement might suit them nicely. But to me that’s coexistence, not a marriage where the other person completes you, loves you, trusts you and would gladly give their life for you. And you feel the same about them. In the end, I wish you a healthy, successful marriage, where both you and your wife are happy, healthy and fulfilled.

    Maybe Sue does have a kink about the 'cheating' scenario, and your presence would kill that. Maybe she has a harmless crush on Paul and doesn't want to tell you because she thinks it might hurt your feelings, or you might overreact (even though there is really nothing to worry about). But I think it better than she be honest with you, then undermine your trust for her by forcing you to wonder if she has an ulterior motive. As I said, secrets and deceit, though they be for the best of intentions, can be poison.

    Remember to talk, and to listen. Accept nothing but honesty, and never give less than that. Trust, and be trustworthy. Loyalty is earned, not given, and that works both ways.

    Regards,
    Eric
     
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  3. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member

    Are you really in a position to demand that "she has to open up"? Maybe you need to improve the communication from your end and find a way to make her want to open up. If she's "Stubborn and uncompromising", and her response is "unaaceptable", it loooks to me like you are attempting to
     
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  4. MidAtlanticFun

    MidAtlanticFun Well-Known Member

    My perception is not that John plans to force her to open up, since forcing something typically requires leverage, and the gist of the convo (again, my perception) is that him being honest and open, not confrontational (i.e., threats and/or ultimatums), will make her comfortable enough to open up. Capn.steve, I think you hit it right on the head with 'improve the communication from your end and find a way to make her want to open up." I concur! I don't believe John is necessarily to blame for Sue not being open, but him changing/modifying his approach might well help her open up.

    As the old Italian proverb states: "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."

    Have a great week!
    Eric
     
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  5. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member

    I might add that timing could be critical, as she is already seeing another guy. If you attempt to "Make her open up", you may only succeed at a time she already has another guy to fall back on. I'll have to admit I tried pretty much the same thing years ago with my ex-wife and it backfired disastrously. I think you'll be more successful "tweaking" or "steering" the relationship in a loving way, than by making demands, or "putting on the brakes".
     
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  6. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    If she won't allow even the simplest request for some interaction, I might start to think #5 on your list is the real reason....but right now my gut says she wouldn't do this.
     
  7. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Thank you Eric. Your opinion on Sue is a very common one among her friends and family. We have all adapted to her stubbornness by learning how to introduce things to her slowly. I'm planning on doing exactly that with my request.

    When Sue threatens to end the lifestyle, I know she's bullshitting. She doesn't want this to end, she's just using the idle threat to get me to leave it alone. It is somewhat childish, and not the way to communicate with a husband who has been by her side for 30 years, but that's my wife.

    Even though it sounds like we have some communication issues, we do have a very close relationship. We are the type of couple that does everything together, we're best friends. We were high school sweethearts that married young and had kids right away. So we have shared a lifetime of experiences together and have a strong bond with our kids. This made me feel safe about entering the lifestyle and trusting my wife.

    Now I just need to get a few drinks in her and start talking......
     
  8. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Yes, need to act fast, but tread lightly :) I think this is the smart way to proceed.
     
  9. blkcorvette

    blkcorvette Member

    I'm in the same situation. My wife, who is exceptionally attractive, started dating other men with my encouragement and approval shortly after we were married. We both found her encounters with other men to be a huge turn-on, and it was always the #1 topic during our relations. It eventually evolved into our fascination with cocks that were larger than mine. Obviously, the subject of big dicks turned her on, and in turn, it turned me on thinking about her "big dick fascination.

    She had mentioned early in our relationship how when she was in high school and college how her dates would often just take her hand and place it on their cock, even in their pants, and she was had. She finally figured out why she had so many dates. The word had gotten out. She swore to me when we were married that she had never been fucked by any of these guys, but it was certainly difficult to not wonder why.

    Her big thing is to never let me watch her have sex with other men, although she will encourage my suggestions on what she should wear or not wear when she "dates" or when she encounters a man who enchants her with the knowledge that he is well hung and wants her pussy.

    The very nice looking, older, enchanting black man that she really likes is supposed to come by this afternoon. She asked me what I wanted her to wear. I told her "nothing but some heels..." and she seems to have agreed. I've never seen her naked with another man although I have watched her kiss other men as they fondle her, so this will be a new and very exciting experience for us both. I'm not quite sure how Charlie will take it, just walking in and seeing my really, exceptionally pretty wife totally nude, but my dick is about to explode with anticipation!

    If all goes as it normally does, she will take him by the hand and lead him up to the master bedroom (like he doesn't know where it is by now...), and they will close the door, leaving me to sit out the event, listening to him give my wife his black 10" of what she says is some of the best she has ever had.

    We have about three hours until Charlie gets here...
     
  10. open2it

    open2it Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking Charlie will take it just fine and with any luck he will immediately pick her up and carry her to the master bedroom with his 10" fully buried in her married pussy.
     
  11. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    I haven't read all of the replies, so I'll just answer the OP and hope it's not been stated earlier.

    My first guess is that she does it in private, without you there, because the sex is for her to enjoy. She might feel that you gave that part of her life up when you became a cuckold. Maybe?
     
  12. NEMI_CUCK

    NEMI_CUCK Member

    Im in a similar situation with my wife. I have never watched neither. A lot of that has to do with the fact that every lover she has had thought she was cheating on me or that we were in an open relationship. Every time she has tried to explain to a guy (whats really going on) they get weirded out..they dont undwrstand it and usually head for the hills. And it took a long time for my wife to open up and share details with me about her dates and love making.

    Even if she found a bull who was comfortable with me watching I think she would still prefer to be alone with him. I think if I were watching she would hold back a lot. I think she would be afraid that I would be hurt if she was enjoying herself too much.. or she would be hesitant on doing certain things with him that she doesn't do with me in bed...which she does with her lovers. She has no problem telling me EVERYTHING now but like I said, she was real cautious for the first couple years of cuckolding. So I know the feeling.

    I would have to say talk to her about it and give it time.. Communication is key with this lifestyle. I would have to say that pretty much any and all problems that have come to my wife and I due to cuckolding have been as a result of poor communication. Im the type of person who wont say anything if something is bothering me until it overwhelms me and I blow up. Thats not a good thing. Luckily my wife knows when something is bothering me and will force me to talk about it.. Which I hate but always makes me feel better afterwards.

    Talk to her about it tell her how you feel and what you want/need and find out how she feels, wants, needs. Its not always easy to do but I bet you will find out a lot and feel a lot better if you do..
     
  13. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    Several times a week, usually on weekends, my wife makes it very clear to me that she needs her young live-in lover to fuck her without me watching, or even being within earshot. From secretly overhearing them fucking I know that when I am not watching he is a way freer, more expressive and much more vigorous lover, especially in his thrusting, and almost frighteningly more vocal when he orgasms---all of which my wife gets off on wildly. As do I when I get the chance!

    With me in the bedroom, usually lying beside them on our bed and occasionally cock-guiding and in other exciting ways partaking, their lovemaking is more romantic and tender. Her lover, like me, has an exhibitionistic streak in him which I indulge from time to time by showing how much I get off on the beauty of his body and they way he moves it when it is wholly given over to his pleasuring of my wife. He is mentally, emotionally and physicially (to the touch) exquisitely sensitive, so my admiration and occasional very direct indulgence of him at those times has an extraordinarily aphrodisiac effect on him which enhances my wife's sexual enjoyment of him immensely.

    He usually much prefers me to be present when he makes love to my wife. But he often thanks me for my leaving her alone with him at those times that he needs to really plow her and get his rocks off without any inhibition of his powerful fucking action and expression of his great love for my wife, such as my watching him in action with her sometimes causes.

    For my part I much prefer him to be lying beside my wife when I am romancing and fucking her, which he loves---and not only because he is still eagerly learning and fascinated by my husbandly and, by comparison with him, much more knowing and measured sexual way with her, but also because he hugely admires me and delights in physically indulging me, as I do him.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2017
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  14. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    Fuck DANG your wife has a beautiful body!! So like my wife's, very fertile-looking, perfectly lovable, and HUGELY fuckable!!

    The combined erotic effect of her skin-colour, breasts and beautiful child-bearing hips and her lovely thick and expansive bush of dark pubic hair are--what can a man say?---so fucking cock-hardening it's cruel.

    And that wedding ring on such tempting display-----Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Has she no shame at all?

    Such a TURN-ON!!! Thank you Buddy

    No doubt she orgasmed many times very freely and enjoyably on your randy visitor's beautiful black 10-inch cock.

    Did she take him bareback? With your permission? Or without it :p
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2017
  15. blkcorvette

    blkcorvette Member

    He's married and initially had documentation so she's be doing him bareback. Of all of the men that have fucked my wife over the years, I've never encountered one that loads her luscious pussy with so much cum! She says when he cums in her pussy, she can feel every forceful spurt and in seeing what leaks out of her, he is a huge cummer! She loves it and I love watching her leak for hours after they have parted! There is something about "black cum" dripping from a married white pussy that is the ultimate turn on.
     
  16. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    You surely are a man after my own heart when it comes to black lovers' cum bucketing warmingly into the wives we so love.

    The young black lover of my wife is enviably multi-orgasmic and cums in her like a tipped-over milk bottle first time up, and like a half-full one his second time in the same session----and so on and so on. His semen starts welling back from her vagina around the almost obscenely girthy shaft of his over-long indriven cock after its first three orgasmic contractions---with six to ten more to go.

    My wife says he ejaculates so forcefully in her that she feels his spurtings as heavy thuddings in the back of her vagina. Of course they enhance her own orgasms hugely.
     
  17. blkcorvette

    blkcorvette Member

    I think she will not let me watch to (1) drive me as close to the edge as she can take me, and (2) because if I were to be standing there watching, it would make her perhaps feel some degree of guilt. Hard to say, really... you know how the female mind works!
     
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  18. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    I do, at least in the case of my wife. From close observation I have deduced that her mind stops working altogether when she is in the throes of being properly fucked by her amazing young lover. In the lead-up to their lovemaking she is too focused on his beautiful body and the extreme sexual pleasure she knows it will soon be giving her to entertain any pangs of guilt she might feel over the flashes of jealousy I often experience from witnessing their totally uninhibited foreplay and fucking.

    When I am watching them I nearly always orgasm when they do, but my wife never gives any indication that she consciously registers that, she appears so completely out of her mind with pleasure.

    Her lover, on the other hand, always smilingly acknowledges and openly gets off on my uncontrollably evident orgiastic pleasure at the way he so skilfully, surely and deeply satisfies my wife first up. He then turns from me and devotes himself totally to re-arousing her until she begs him to resume thrusting in her, which is even more erotically intoxicating for me than their first coming together.

    It is not that in the midst their foreplay and fucking my wife is callous or uncaring about any untoward reactions I may be having to her wildly uninhibited physical and vocal worshipping of her lover. It is simply that in the build-up to their lovemaking and in the act itself she disconnects so totally from me that it is very clear to me that her erotic excitement has rendered her incapable of having the lightest concern for me. It is as if in her switched-off mind I have ceased to exist.
     
  19. NewCuck76

    NewCuck76 Active Member

    I haven't read all the replies but I'm not allowed to be in the same room when she fucks her Bull yet either but trying to build up to it. Her Bull mentions that he is ok with it but for her she thinks it may be awkward and make her nervous for me to watch. She makes videos for me which is making her more comfortable. Maybe for your wife its the same, she's just incredibly nervous for you to be there. Maybe she can video for you to build up to a comfort level.
     
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  20. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    It may be that her bull fucks her so much better than you do that she needs to focus on only him and outwardly express her intense pleasure alone with him.

    Your likely nervous reaction to seeing her ecstasizing in the arms of her lover would inhibit her in that. You would not need to freak out completely at the way she responds to him fucking her for it to be a factor. Her desire not to witness in their bedroom an off-putting show of the jealous curiosity she is undoubtedly seeing in you now would be enough.

    Finally, your wife is not servicing her bull. It is clearly him that is servicing her and evidently, at least for the time being, she needs and desires to uninhibitedly get off on that without you there.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2017
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