Why does my wife insist on fucking her bull in private?

Discussion in 'Methods, Techniques and Advice' started by Overandover, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Is it that she doesn't want me to be humiliated watching her bull fuck her over and over?

    Or is she doing things with him that she doesn't want me to see? I told her that anal with him was OK with me, but she claims that all he does is finger her ass. I'm not sure I believe her, since she loves having a cock sliding in her ass. Not sure why she won't share that detail with me?

    I'm sure the sex is probably better for both of them without a pathetic cuck like me in the room, and i'm happy with the way things are with her private meetings. But if they could just give me one time it would blow my mind, among other things. Any advice on how I can talk the wife into relaxing her rules and letting me watch her service her bull would be appreciated.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2016
  2. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member

    I feel your pain my friend. I've been there myself. I gave my ex-wife her hall pass and basically pimped her out to a few friends who were more than happy to fuck her, but the most I ever saw was them making out a few times. Could it be that she is worried about your temper getting the best of you? Or could it be that she just doesn't want you butting into her relationship with her bull and possibly messing things up? It's a lot easier for many women to just cheat than to bring their cucks in. Hopefully you can work this out with her and either get to do a threesome or just get to watch. I think you want to be careful that she doesn't get to the point her bond with him is stronger than her bond with you.
     
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  3. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Thanks for the good advice Capn.Steve ...luckily I have a strong bond with her, and don't see any signs to make me worry, but it could be the intimacy between them she doesn't want me to see.
     
  4. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    Hmmm, It could be that she doesn't want to humiliate you. Or the bull has performance issues with an audience, or she does not want to feel like she is your personal porn star, or may she is so connected to you that your being in the room would distract her from enjoying herself, it could be so many things. My best guess is that she is so in love with you that you being present would keep her from focusing on the other guy. It can be really hard to watch for signs of distress in a partner when you are getting fucked.
     
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  5. canadianwittol

    canadianwittol Well-Known Member Founding Member

    I understand...for the first six years my wife cuckolded me I never once got to watch. Of course, it would have been impossible because up until this point all her previous lovers had been under the impression that she was cheating.

    Only just in the past year have I enjoyed (and I truly have) the sight of my wife's lover making love to my beautiful wife. And even now, I watch probably only one quarter of the time.

    My wife also prefers to be with her lover alone, which is understandable. They are sharing intimacy together and people without naturally given exhibitionist tendencies might find the "performance" aspect difficult. I think you have to make some effort to understand this.

    I suspect you enjoy teasing yourself with the prospect that she is doing things with him behind closed doors that she wouldn't want you to see...but I think like Occam's Razor the simplest explanation is likeliest to be the truth, and truthfully very few women in general want to be watched having sex by a third.

    If it is of any comfort, my wife came around very slowly to the idea of letting me watch, but now that we've done so a dozen times or so, she has become *somewhat* more comfortable with it and has remarked that she was surprised herself how much closer it made her feel to me in that we could now share the experience. Ironically, it only happened because her lover wanted me to be watching - something on which we both agreed!
     
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  6. obedientcuck

    obedientcuck Well-Known Member

    Have you asked your wife why she doesn't have you in the room?
     
  7. Kudalskies

    Kudalskies Well-Known Member Founding Member

    My wife says it just feels hotter being alone with her lover. She didn't mind I set up a hidden cam and not miss a thing... worked well for me and her ;)
     
  8. Clarepear

    Clarepear Well-Known Member

    Spening time with a lover isn't about my hubby, it's about my lover. Eventually I asked my husband if he wanted to watch when I was making out with a lover in front of him, and he said yes, and he definitely had his mind blown :)

    Just give it time.
     
  9. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Thanks for the insightful reply Deanna, I appreciate the positive approach you are giving. Happy to see so much helpful feedback this morning from you and others. It's making me glad that I found this site and can now learn from the wisdom of you and the other members. This is not a topic where I can seek advice from friends or family. ;-)

    I agree that it could be a mixture of things related to me being a distraction to her own pleasures, and to her "focus" on pleasing her lover. We have been married for 30+ years and we started the lifestyle ten years ago, and I really consider us one of the success stories. Many things about our marriage improved after we started, and now I feel like i'm giving her the best of both worlds, and she has been appreciative for the freedom that she has. So my confidence in our relationship is strong.

    Just want her to feel comfortable with an occassional visit so that I can watch her beautiful body in action, and witness how excited her lover gets when he's with her. It's would be more validation of how lucky I am to be married to such a hot woman. Maybe I should just tell her that? :)
     
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  10. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    I also think you guys are a success story, telling her how you feel sounds like a great idea. Your request comes from a good place. It was also easier for me to have Jeff watch when he was touching me compared to standing over me. Now my favorite is for him to lay by me or cradle my head or play with my hair. When he is touching me it adds to my pleasure.
     
  11. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Thanks for your words of advice, especially the simple explanation. Our first attempt for my wife with another guy resulted in a performance failure on his part. I was in another room of his house while they were behind a closed door in his bedroom, but he was unable to follow through. She might have felt his shyness was caused by me sitting in an adjacent room. I know it was a frustrating night for her since we spent months arranging this with my friend Paul at his house, and it flopped.

    However, this was the only time i've been able to watch her play. I initiated things between them by suggesting we play a game of Truth or Dare. During the game, each turn from me or Paul involved foreplay between him and her, so I was able to watch some fun stuff. But when I dared my wife to fuck Paul in front of me, she took him by the hand and led him to his bedroom. Thirty minutes later she came out with a frustrated look.

    Her next lover was a guy at work that didn't know me, and he was under the impression that she was cheating. They met privately of course, and it was a huge success (eh-hum). I think she's going with what works after the flop with Paul?
     
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  12. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Yes I have, she usually replies with something like "are you kidding?"
     
  13. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    The hidden cam idea is my fallback option. I would rather be there in person to see and hear everything, but i'll take the cam as Plan B.

    Thanks!
     
  14. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Thank you for the message. Starting to feel like I should just tell her how I feel (again) and be patient.
     
  15. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member

    Instead of asking her to fuck him in front of you, why don't you just ease them both into it? I always found it very exciting to be the third wheel with my wife or GF and her lover. The smallest gestures of intimacy can be mind-blowingly sexual for everyone involved and eventually they could acclimate and they might feel more comfy bringing you into the bedroom.
     
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  16. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    That sounds really hot.....I envy your lucky husband :) hoping that we can get there also.
     
  17. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    I really like this idea, like you said, it might help get them more comfy with it. I still have great memories of the foreplay I witnessed years ago between my wife and a friend, but it's all I have.....hoping for more. Thanks for the idea, i'm going to offer that one to the wife, it's time to have the "talk'".
     
  18. MidAtlanticFun

    MidAtlanticFun Well-Known Member

    I think you've received some good advice, and I can only agree to what's already been said. I think only your wife can tell you exactly why she doesn't want you in the room. I do think you deserve more than 'are you kidding' for an explanation. But the fact that your presence added an inhibiting factor to her partner (Paul) may be a big part of the issue. Remember to put yourself in her shoes, and in the other guys'. Paul had an issue with you being around (even in another room), and some other guys might, as well. To reverse the situation, I'm pretty sure I would feel a little weird if one of my wife's studs was standing in the corner, just eyeing me and her while we were having sex. It's a little distracting, for me.

    My wife, Mimi, would prefer I not be in the room (I never have been), so she can place her full attention on the guy she's with, but mostly because it enhances her experience of 'cheating' on me. To her, it's more 'taboo' to do it 'behind my back'. She's very sexually submissive so she's not into humiliating me; she wants to be the 'bad girl' and let the other guy use her. But she is happy to record it on hidden camera for my viewing pleasure (live, or at a later time).

    Good communication is the key to any relationship, and essential in a successful marriage. Not criticizing your wife, but 'are you kidding?' is not an answer. That's a reply when 1) someone really doesn't want to give a straight answer (they're hiding something) or 2) they think something is so obvious they believe it doesn't need to be explained. In the latter case, it becomes a dismissive insult. She should not expect you to know what she's thinking and feeling; humans are not mind readers (at least the majority are not). Perhaps it might be successful to ask her for an explanation, while affirming that you want only clarification, and are not making a demand/argument that you be in the room. A request for elucidation is not the same as debate, but it can perceived to be. While it might be a little exasperating to her to have to explain what SHE thinks is obvious, I'm sure she'd be more unnerved if you said you didn't give a tinker's damn. And if she's holding something back, secrets--and ignored questions--are not good for a marriage.

    Just my two coppers.
    Eric
     
  19. Overandover

    Overandover Member

    Thanks for the excellent advice Eric. I have only been on the site for a week and have received more free advice here than anyplace ever before. I am very thankful. Makes me wonder if the people here really professional therapists performing a secret group study? :) Seems to be a group of really smart and articulate people here....

    Your message has given me more insight on why she prefers private dates. The "thrill of cheating" sounds like something Sue would be turned on by. She has always had a real bad girl side to her, and was cheating on me with my friend Paul while we were still engaged before marriage (unknown to me until many years after). She kept that secret 20 years into the marriage, it was Paul that slipped one day and revealed some truths.

    Sounds like your wife is pretty cool to be so honest about her reasoning. If Sue would admit the same, I would be totally cool with it. I understand the cheating with Paul in the past was very exciting for her and she wants more of the same. I would love to give her a simulation of that, and maybe just ask for a hidden cam.

    I love my wife dearly, but she can be a stubborn uncompromising type. You are right, her response to my question is unacceptable. Her response to my quest for more definition is usually a threat to stop the fun. If I challenged that threat, I'm afraid her fun would continue, and I will stop hearing about it. We do have some communication issues to work out, because that really is the answer here, we have to talk, and she has to open up. Wish me luck....thanks for the help!

    John
     
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  20. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member



    1. You said: "That's a reply when 1) someone really doesn't want to give a straight answer (they're hiding something) "
    She's hiding something? Really? It's already established that she's fucking the guy. What could she be hiding? That she's NOT really fucking the guy? LOL

    2) "they think something is so obvious they believe it doesn't need to be explained. In the latter case, it becomes a dismissive insult"

    Well, yeah, you are restating the obvious here, of course it was meant to be dismissive and insulting. That's the point of the response.
     

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