Thread: should i tell HIM it's ok with me?

I'd make an effort to be friendly to the guy, to show him there is no jealousy on your part - but you know damn well what will happen if you and he go out drinking together. After a few beers, you'll offer your wife to him regardless of the advice given here, even with your best intentions not to. You know you will. What could happen? Well, he could tell your wife, and you'd be in the doghouse for, um, maybe forever. Or, he could freak and cool it with your wife, causing her to lose a good friend without ever knowing why.

I'll say again, I think you're going about this backwards. Your wife must want him, and she must feel comfortable enough to make the move on her own. If you could get 100 guys to hit on her, it wouldn't make her a hotwife - until she decides she wants it. Encourage her, make her feel sexy and desirable, and continue to be honest with her about your feelings. Keep the fantasy sharing active - ask her what she fantasizes about, then make them come alive in the bedroom.

Must...be...patient. Say and repeat.

Don

Goose, Goose, Goose,

You've got to get over your fantasy that this is about you. It's not. You have no control at all. When she decides to fuck him she's going to fuck him because SHE wants to, not because it makes you hot. Much better for her, and for your marriage, if you also get a kick out of it, but it's not about you. Don't tell the other guy anything, unless she wants you to. If she likes the idea of you conspiring with him to help him seduce her, then she can tell you. But the rules of the game are between your wife and you, not between you and the other guy.

And, hey, for that matter, she may well be fucking him already, and just not be ready to tell you about it. You said earlier,

Originally Posted by goose

my wife has never cucked me, the most she's done is flirt.

But then you went on later to confess that she cucked you while you were still dating!

My advice is to let her know you're OK with her being in control, that, in fact, it turns you on. Let her know that you are completely OK with her fucking who she chooses, whenever she chooses, and that you just hope she'll share her adventures with you as much as she feels comfortable with.

And good luck.

yes, i've come to my senses and will keep me mouth shut. we had some wine and cheese with him last night for a little while -- the two of them sitting next to eachother at the island and me more taking on the role of bartender.

the only thing i've done differently lately is i've begun to treat her like an absolute queen. doing as much as i can for her around the house and errand-wise and being very attentive to her -- with lots of affection, touching, massages, oral/dildo sex, etc. doing whatever she wants and more. she's enjoying it, but has become suspicious -- she asked half-jokingly if i was doing it all out of guilt for having an affair or something. i am actually (surprisingly) really enjoying it myself -- our house has never functioned so harmoniously -- which is a good thing for our kids, too.

yes, i realize that she is not going to go through with anything because it will turn ME on. she will do it if it turns HER on. i'm just going to keep at what i'm doing and, hopefully, the dominant side of her personality will come out more and more and MAYBE someday she'll decide she wants to have sex with a "real" man who is not so docile and submissive toward her.

i guess i should ask everyone -- does all this sound like a good strategy?

Christine is right again. In my experience, no woman wants her husband or boyfriend telling the guy she's into, flirting with, or just spending time with, that she has a free pass or is ready to fuck. Your wife will certainly be angry and upset at you for interfering with her flirtation / romance.

I once knew a woman who was starting to spend time with me in a flirty manner. Her husband came by one day and told me that his wife wanted to fuck me and she had a free pass from him. He foolishly told his wife about our meeting and what he said and she was very pissed at him for some time. It also made her pull back from me for a couple of weeks. We did end up fucking regularly over the next year, but she still expressed resentful anger toward her husband for what he said. As a consequence, she refused to allow her husband to watch us fucking and told him that she no longer wanted his dick inside her -- her pussy belonged exclusively to me.

I don't see anything wrong with meeting up with your wife's boyfriend if he invites you out for a beer -- you can even tell him that you don't mind that they are becoming good friends and spending lots of time together. But don't be a fool and tell him that he has a free pass; leave that conversation to your wife.