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Why is cuckolding racist?

Discussion in 'Interracial' started by thunderbird54321, Dec 15, 2016.

  1. thunderbird54321

    thunderbird54321 New Member

    Maybe this is a controversial headline but I cannot understand why there seems to so much focus on BBC and white women wanting black men and even here this is an interracial forum. Surely, the focus is on cuckolding with another man/bull not what their colour is. And if the cuckoldresses desire is on finding a man with a big cock then surely it doesnt matter if the man is black or white.
    The reason I raise this is that I am white and working in Africa and my wife is black. We are exploring cuckolding and hotwifing but my wife does not want to go with a black as black mens attitude to women is poor. It seems to be true that on average black men do have bigger cocks than white guys but my wife would never choose a big cock over the type of man that she would like to meet and have sex with.
    Now that I have lived in Africa for a few years I have become ambivalent to differences between black and white even though there are many. So what drives the desire for BBC or 'wanting black'.
    Worth It, Kudalskies and fkmywfxn like this.
  2. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member

    I'm not trying to be antagonistic here, but your post is actually the one full of prejudice and racism.

    Interracial does not solely mean "Black and white".
    I don't think "ironic" is a strong enough word for this.
    So it's ok for your wife to pick and choose exactly what she wants, but it's not OK for other women to pick and choose exactly what they want if she happens to be white and what she wants is a black man?
    Quite simply: an individual's desires.
  3. thunderbird54321

    thunderbird54321 New Member

    Well I am not a racist but there are plenty of expats in Africa who are. The reason for using the word was to see why people like the black and white dynamic so much. It seems to me that for many finding a BBC is the endgame where it is really just another aspect of cuckolding. So are women trying to find a big cock and they feel that a black man is more likely to have one or that going with a black man is different and more of a taboo.
    Worth It likes this.
  4. pigr75

    pigr75 Well-Known Member

    My wife isn't into black guys, but i think I understand the appeal to many white couples. In my opinion, cuckolding is all about the wife getting something sexually she can't get from her husband. In our experience, each lover she has had who was any good at sex was able to bring something to the table that I can't--long hard fucking until she is completely wiped out, really creative dominance--always something. I think in fantasy a bigger cock, or black skin, or anything quite different from the husband, guarantees she'll get something the husband can't give her. I think it's just the big contrast, the big difference, that is so appealing.
    Mexcuck, Pathedick and Krosk like this.
  5. rfresco

    rfresco Active Member

    We read the contributors comments about three times, then read the comments supplied by others, coming to the conclusion that the writer isn’t prejudiced, per se. Instead, he is asking what the attraction is.

    Some folks like overweight partners, some folks like guys who are dominating, some folks like guys who are well-rounded (great socially, great in bed, basically guys who are friends as well). We think that preferences come from the individual’s history.

    The writer comes from an environment that blacks (specifically) are trained culturally to disrespect women. Thus the timbre of his question. On the other side of the coin, we come from America, where blacks, in a traditional ‘White Bread’ community, are still seen as taboo, mysterious, different.

    The motivation from my wife’s perspective is generated by that basic perception. Thus, when a black man has her, she is doing something taboo and vastly different from her ‘White Bread’ background.

    The black men who have had her have been polite, educated, and considerate – think Denzel Washington as opposed to Boyz in the Hood. If they didn’t meet this standard, they didn’t get very far – regardless of cock size. So for us, it’s the forbidden fruit aspect of it – something that she finds erotic.

    We aren’t trying to say that the contributor’s perception isn’t valid – for him, it is. To this we say that your wife is black, but she prefers white. He also suggested is from Africa. So we ask, isn’t this a reversal of what we find erotic? Let us explain.

    Assuming that the above thought is true. Wouldn’t a white guy be her ‘forbidden fruit’ – the guys who she found unapproachable initially are now very much approachable! We’re in the same boat – my wife wouldn’t normally consider blindly allowing a black guy to hit on her in an open environment. But in a Hotwife environment, it’s a very real possibility.

    To be sure (truth in advertising here) white guys have had her – not quite 50/50, but close (more like 60/40) and she has enjoyed herself with them. But her first Hotwife experience was on vacation in the Bahamas – with a black guy (something we’re posted in a much earlier forum submission). To her, it was an absolute thrill. Perhaps your black wife had a similar thrill the first Hotwife experience she had with a white guy.

    We aren’t trying to psycho-analyze your situation, but perhaps that’s his motivation as opposed to a largely American/European worldview shared by the majority of folks on this forum.

    This is our opinion – would appreciate hearing other views – but please, no flames! Just an honest exchange of ideas is what’s called for here – and I’m sure that most folks who subscribe to this lifestyle – and forum – can provide an honest opposing viewpoint.

    Warmest Regards,


    PS My wife and I are in this together. She read and contributed to this submission, so the comments above aren’t only from the ‘Stag’ point of view.
    NEMI_CUCK and christinebitg like this.
  6. Lakeslad

    Lakeslad Active Member

    This is an area I struggle to understand, other than the visual contrast. Whilst different people have different motives (obviously) I am sure the taboo element of a wife being unfaithful is part of it for many of us. I just find it really depressing that a white woman with a black man is regarded as also being taboo. I used to think it was simply because of the number of Americans posting, but unfortunately I have met a number of people in this country who think the same way.
  7. rfresco

    rfresco Active Member

    To be sure, in a perfect world, race wouldn’t be a factor. But it remains taboo – but changing rapidly. In the US, we’ve seen an increasing amount of commercials on television depicting an interracial couple – and a few have even had interracial children interacting with the parents. To be sure, this is a good thing, just like showing homosexual couples interacting is a good thing as it tends to ‘mainstream’ the evolving social construct.

    But consider, within most people’s circle of friends, outside of work, how many have black couples (not interracial, but a black couple) attend a party? If so, we bet they are in the minority – one black couple to five, six or seven white couples. Interestingly enough, it’s our experience that it’s much more common to have Asian or Hispanic attend a party than blacks. This would illustrate that blacks remain largely outside the accept white social circle.

    By them remaining (for the most part) outside the white social circle, it places blacks into a different realm. That’s what underscores the ‘taboo’ aspect.

    Take porn for instance. Look anywhere and you’ll find black men having white women in specialized locations on the web catering to just that interest. On the other hand, how many sites are devoted to Asian/Hispanic men having white women. The number dramatically falls off.

    However, there is a large segment of sites dedicated to white MALES having Asian women – reversing the level of interest expressed in this interracial mix, and we suggest that there are far fewer sites dedicated to white males having black women. They are out there, to be sure, but we suggest that porn sites, dedicated to earning money, would tend to focus on what interest sub-set garners the most hits.

    There are a number of factors that contribute to the black male/white female interest. These include contrast, and suggested cock size (largely disproven in numerous studies) but we would submit that by far, the largest level of interest would still revert to the ‘taboo’ aspect of it.

    The black male is not in the white couples social circle and he black male has been deemed inappropriate for a white woman (during her upbringing) as a viable partner. These factors applied to my wife. As mentioned before, she was brought up in a very white, upper middle class environment. “Good girls don’t associate with those boys!” was at least strongly inferred during her developmental years. Thus, when the opportunity arose, she took it. She has mentioned that had her first not been black (again, while on that fateful vacation) she probably wouldn’t have done anything. But it was the forbidden fruit that provided the spark – and the rest is history.

    We can only provide insight in what our experience has been. We’re not trying to say that these are hard and fast rules. But given the evidence, we are suggesting that black man remain de facto ‘taboo’ to white women, resulting in when the opportunity presents itself, she is more than a little interested.

    Again, our opinion. Welcome additional thoughts and discussion – would love to hear other views!

  8. fkmywfxn

    fkmywfxn Well-Known Member

    Something new is exciting for bored couples. Big cocks is mostly a fantasy for insecure men. Having sex with a black man is exciting for white couples if it happens by chance. A white couple actively seeking out a black man is racist.
  9. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    I also do not relate to the BBC fetish. I just have a "BigCock" fetish. I have a dislike for stereotypes that perpetuate racism. I have fucked a lot of men, and the biggest cocks have not been a person of color.

    I figure BBC porn is stereotyped similar to cuckold porn, very rarely is a cuck like the porn. Most of the Cucks I know have full access to their wives and just have a kink of the wife fucking around while they don't.

    I don't personally know a cuckoldress that only fucks black cock.
  10. waynerobertson

    waynerobertson Well-Known Member

    There are many women and couples that prefer black cock. Does not mean they're racist it simply means they prefer black cock.
  11. rfresco

    rfresco Active Member


    There is a growing movement on the web to redefine relationships, specifically the 'cuckold/hotwife' labels.

    The division and common understanding is that the cuckold is also into the humiliation aspects of an open relationship. Some hotwives play off by embracing the idea of humiliating their husbands. As evidence are the cock cages that are quite popular in some segments.

    However, a new sub-set of open relationships is emerging. It's referred to as the 'Stag/Vixen' category. in this dynamic, the husband (Stag) loves his wife (Vixen) and enjoys seeing her with other guys, but not as a submissive - more along the lines of an equal partner. He get his enjoyment from seeing his wife with another, she gets to experience other guys and no one is humiliated. It's a group activity, mutually agreed upon. We are in that sort of situation.

    I have found 'bulls' (they are called 'bulls' in this aspect as well) for my wife, and she has found her own. But before anything gets serious, we come to a mutual agreement between each other that we should or shouldn't pursue. It sounds like you're in a similar situation. Just wish that there was a forum catering to that sub-set as there is for cuckolds in general.

    Here is a tumblr link to one of the more popular sites:


    Realize this was off-topic, but just thought I would throw it out there for comment.

  12. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member

    That's called hotwifing. And while I can see why people would want to distance pure "hotwifing" from the "cuckolding lifestyle" (the sub, humilation, bi, etc side of cuckolding), using the term "Stag" the way they do is definitionally incorrect and only adds to the confusion of all the misused terms such as cuckold itself. Not exactly helpful.
    Pathedick likes this.
  13. rfresco

    rfresco Active Member

    I realize that I may be opening myself up for chastisement. but I think that this lifestyle has TWO sub-sets - both valid.
    The lifestyle is 'Hotwife' to be sure. No argument about that. Within that, we have the 'sub' or, as I referenced, the 'cuckold' - he is into the humiliation aspect. The other division is the 'Stag' who isn't into the humiliation aspect.
    The term "Cuckold" has garnered the 'submissive' label - for right or wrong. I simply pointed out that there are men out there who believe that by identifying themselves as a 'Cuckold' they are indicating (by default) that they are sub and enjoy the humiliation aspect.
    My wife enjoys other men. But I am not submissive - far from it. Thus, another term may be appropriate. On one hand, you have the Cuckold (sub) and the 'Stag' (not sub).
    I don't see how this isn't helpful. In fact, I think just the opposite. I am not arguing with you. Nor am I condemning those folks who enjoy the submissive aspect of the lifestyle. I'm simply suggesting that for those of us who are not submissive another term may be appropriate.
    This is not something I cooked up myself, nor do I have any affiliation with the TUMBLR site I provided. My intent was to simply illustrate my point. If this was offensive, or not helpful, I apologize.
    I know and appreciate the hard work a site like this entails. We (my wife and I) enjoy reading the contributions and, at times, providing our insight into the lifestyle.
    Please keep up the outstanding work.
    Warmest Regards,
  14. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member


    First, you are a long-time, trusted, and valued member of this community. Please don't feel you need to walk on eggshells with us. I'm not coming across as a mean, overbearing moderator, am I? You have no need to worry about being offensive or unhelpful! No apology needed!

    So, let me clarify what I said and I hope the above makes clear nothing here is an attack on you. I do like the effort to highlight the "true hotwife" lifestyle; hell, that's me! I can see and appreciate the value in divesting the hotwife community from the term cuckold as it is colloquially known. My point is that using the term stag, which has a distinct definition (or two) seems to me to be the wrong term. Hence, they are doing the same thing as those who hijacked the term cuckold. They turned the pure definition of cuckold into the common meandering meaning with strong connotations of humiliation, submission, cum licking, Bull-cock sucking, wimp of a pathetic man (I'm not worried about offending them because I KNOW more than a few of them just got their little dicklet stiff just reading that!). I've been fighting windmills on this for years.

    The word stag, which is being used as a noun, means something. I'm sure they don't mean an adult male deer. I know they don't mean a castrated pig, but hell that one right there brings back up similar connotations of "cuckolding, the lifestyle". That right there should have disqualified their choice to use the word stag. But I'm intelligent enough to know they don't mean that either. So, is it a person who attends a social gathering unaccompanied by a woman? A social gathering for men only?

    I'm confused by their choice of the word stag. Seriously, I am. I know what they are trying to accomplish. They want a word, perhaps ever so slightly less masculine than the term bull. But that word bull... hmmm. Yes. Definitions exist that fit with the usage of the word bull in the cuckolding community, with connotations to it added over time (some of which lead more than a few hotwifers to hate using the term bull). No such connotation even comes close to the usage of the word stag in the way they want to use it.

    Again, while I appreciate the effort towards a noble goal, that site in particular has a couple of things that irk me. The whole racial "inclusiveness" seems so forced (this brings us back into topic! yay! :) ). Actually, the whole site seems so forced. There's actually very little "true" content that isn't just them trying to push the whole stag/vixen concept. Another example is the butterfly tattoo thing. Don't they know that the butterfly is already a symbol for lesbians? Forget the fact that they feel they need a symbol at all, but how many women in this world already have butterfly tattoos, jewelry, shirts, dresses, etc and have no clue what cuckolding/hotwifing is at all? Hell, how many of them have the same and aren't even lesbians? Just like the anklet, I'd wager the vast, vast (yes, I said it twice!) majority of them have no clue that the butterfly (or anklet) has any hidden meaning at all. Not in the slightest. Which leads me directly into my next diatribe about their use of the word vixen.... (just kidding, I'll stop here.)
  15. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    RFRESCO, I feel your pain with the label Cuckold, we as a couple have traveled a similar journey. Even now we are more comfortable saying "AlphaCuck" or "NonSubCuck". I can understand why a lot of cuckolds would like a different lable, one that is more informative and less derogatory.

    Any man who's partner fucks others is in my opinion a cuckold, whether the man knows or not. And I can see why you want a new label. The current one envokes elements of insult.

    In the end though all the colors of blue are still blue, coffee is coffee no mater the bean, soda is soda even though Coke or Sprite provide better description.

    You are not alone in your discomfort. We are all different. I am a cuckoldress and I hate people thinking I am a BBC whore. I am a beautiful, intelligent female who uses men as the fuck toys they deserve to be. I am not a sub either, and trust me...plenty of yahoo's assume I am a sub to be used by bulls. When I desire to explain I do...and when I don't desire I don't. Deanna
  16. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member

    Ooh, I just thought of a simpler way to say what I mean:

    If I was "new" to the hotwife idea/concept, I would think a "Stag" would be a single guy who is the guy who fucks the hotwife.
    Pathedick and DeannaHouston like this.
  17. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    Lol, I am not new...and "stag" are single men at swinger clubs available for Cuckoldress'.
    Pathedick, JeffHouston and saturn like this.
  18. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member

    Boom! Thank you! I've never been to a swinger club, so I wasn't aware.

    Deanna, you're from Texas. You damn well know that Coke is Coke! Coke is all soda. All soda is Coke. Dr. Pepper is Coke. Pepsi is Coke (but from on a personal note, if I order Coke and you bring me Pepsi... well, it's yer funeral!).
  19. Kudalskies

    Kudalskies Well-Known Member Founding Member

    True. I don’t understand why almost always when it comes to cuckolding.. (BBC) black men come in the picture!

    I’m sure many women (as my wife does) love to cuckold their husbands with white men too. When my wife and I brows the net looking for cuckolding pics and ideas we find very few to almost none of white or black women with white men! Though there are lots and lots of white bulls out there with huge big cocks. You simply don’t see (BWC).

    The cuckolding lifestyle is racist!!
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2016
    DeannaHouston likes this.
  20. rfresco

    rfresco Active Member

    To all the folks who took considerable time to provide a very well balanced response to my observations, Thank You all. You provided exactly what I was looking for; intelligent, well thought out opposing views. I never take offense about hearing the other side of the story - and at times even learn from it (castrated pig? Really?!?!)
    I'm in Deanna's camp in that I don't like the humiliation aspect that the term implies. To be sure, 'Stag' has a number of definitions (but then again, very few words in English have only one definition) but it seemed to fit.
    I donno - just looking for a term...
    Well, I've highjacked this thread enough - and everyone has examined the point sufficiently, so I'll bow out gracefully. Again, thank you all for your comments, they are appreciated!
    (This post is now returned to your control... BEEEP!)
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