1. Hey Guest, into BDSM?
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Who is into BDSM?

Discussion in 'BDSM' started by DomMorgan, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. DomMorgan

    DomMorgan Guest

    There are statistics on this, although I'm not sure how reliable they are. But certainly the first statistic becomes obvious when you explore this area much at all. Submissive males outnumber all the three other possible combinations combined. Submissive females definitely come in second.

    Let's face it. "Letting go" of one's need to maintain control in today's hyper-competitive world is an attractive offer. Knowing that you can please your partner simply by following their instructions relieves a lot of pressure, and performance anxiety. And while we tie that term "performance anxiety" to male erections, women also feel it intensely. They are suppose to get us to cum. Any guy who has failed to cum during a sex session likely knows that look of angst on their face, as if they didn't complete their mission, they must have been inadequate in some way. Feelings of insecurity are not gender-specific.

    And what about the last two possibilities--dominants of either gender? I'm not convinced that I know the answer. I know that in the scene, female dominants (Dommes) can do very well financially if they are professionals. I've known a few who carry large wads of money. And curiously, in many jurisdictions, it is completely legal to be a paid female dominant if there is no penetration involved.

    But that is largely a case of supply and demand. There are so many male submissives, or wannabe male submissives, that the demand makes the market quite profitable.

    For the record, I have never been paid for sex as a male dominant (grin). Among other issues, I do penetrate. I'm amazed how many BDSM couples do not incorporate sex into their play. I simply don't get that part. But not accepting money does simplify the legal issues. It would not help KingBull, by the way. In Massachusetts, there is no such legal concept as consenting to being physically struck. Battery is battery in his state.

    What I have noticed about male dominants and female submissives is that the rarity is the male dominant who understands that what is being explored is her needs more than his. Guys who are willing to order women around are a dime a dozen. Guys who can put women into that mental space where they can explore their slutty fantasies and yet still feel safe and protected are far less common.

    Well, those are my observations. Your mileage may vary. I invite you to vary.

    Morgan
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2008
  2. gussie

    gussie New Member

    I have been a male sub for both Men and Women, depending on th esituation, usually at the parties i have gone too there are more subs then Doms or Dommes. Most of the time I have had a fun time.
     
  3. newsub4A

    newsub4A Distinguished Member

    Well it has taken me nearly a week to get around to responding. As those that have spoken to me or read my blog know, we are into BDSM. We are trying to live a 24/7 femdom lifestyle and have been working on it on and off for about 1 1/2 years i suppose.

    Aside from some minor bedroom fantasy play we have not had much other BDSM experiences prior to starting our lifestyle change so it has been quite a change for us. The cucking aspect came into our relationship becuse Goddess desired to be well fucked and as our play continued i was unable to last like i used too. This was (and is) for a variety of reasons... increased sensitivity due to the playing, extensive use of chastity and denial leaving me ready to explode at Her slightest touch and the head games of it all. We both agreed that she should not be denied Her sexual satisfaction, especially since this chnage is about centering the relationship around Her.
     
    tinyjack likes this.
  4. secondPlace

    secondPlace New Member

    Wife and i have been in a D/s bdsm relationship since we began see each other. The cuckolding came about as a way to deepen my submission and her dominance
    As far as 24/7 D/s yes it is but not 24/7 bdsm, my butt isn’t that tough.
    As to D/s it isn’t all "slave do this or that" most is everyday conversation or interaction. I do know to mind though.
     
  5. panterarosso

    panterarosso New Member

    I agree, i have started to look into cuckolding as part of BDSM, which i have been involved in for a long time.

    Over here (netherlands) the bdsm scene has been poisoned. A few years ago bdsm was hot, lots of programm's on tv showed acts of bdsm (we are somewhat different as the usa or uk almost anything goes:D)

    That did break some barriers but most of the scenes were of the "leather, whip"type, no mention of intimacy or emotion, just whip on ass, nice but anybody who wants to involve it into his of her life needs to deal with that.

    For me bdsm is the most intimate act there is, no barriers left. The reason i am investigating cuckold is simple, i have no problem with gender in BDSM, like i said, emotion is important, what bigger emotion than to take someone's wife?

    oke having him clean up afterward:rolleyes:
     
    tinyjack likes this.
  6. Bo Hansen

    Bo Hansen New Member

    i have been sub in all my adult life (since i was 17 - may be earlier).
    i don't want to consider too much why - but that is how it is.
    In our world i guess it is much easier to be sub as female - it is a part of their gender (i know many will protest - but isn't it easier to be taken as woman than a man?)
    The way i see my self as sub is that i don't conquer a woman - and when i see a woman i think of worshipping her instead of taking her and fucking her.
    During the latest six months the cuckold thought came in - not to my wife but to a girlfriend - or or a couple that wants a male sub . I am not bi - but the humiliation in forced bi excites me.
    and - btw - it is difficult to feel like a real man when so submissive - and then even cuckold thoughts
     
  7. cuthwulf

    cuthwulf New Member

    submissiveness

    Up until recently our relationship has been 50/50 with both wearing the pants. There has always been this ongoing clash, But recently i have changed my tack and let her wear the pants.
    Letting her be the dominant one and me be the sub. A new experience for me. She seems to love it. When she cucked me before i always felt i was in control as the bull was not over dominat. I have been chatting to a bull on the net and he definitely is the alpha male and would want me to be the beta male. I have found it a great relief letting my wife be dominant and even the way the bull treats me on the net to be a turn on.Interesting.
     
  8. syndi

    syndi Sissy Cuckslut

    For those who wish to explore BDSM but have no partner options or facilities, visiting a professional Dominatrix is a good way to go. In San Francisco, there are many such women and five years ago, i was fortunate to be accepted by one of the most beautiful and accomplished. Of course, prior to going pro, i did come clean with my wife about this play potential, buying her a book by Lady Green and things like that, but it was a dead end.
    What i learned from my BDSM experience is that i am not a masochist (caning really hurts) but i am a very happy service and humiliation slut. My relationship with the Dominatrix has evolved to one of service, where i do things for her such as shopping, lunching, event escort, photography, and website support.

    By the way, for those in the San Franciso area, the Folsom Street Fair (FOLSOM STREET FAIR), the premier bdsm street event in the world, is happening again on Sunday, September 28. Although it's officially a gay leather event, everybody shows up. Where else can you get flogged by a beautiful Dominatrix at a charity whipping booth. i'll be there, in a black micro mini i think. Here are some of my photos from last year...

    2007 Folsom Portraits - a set on Flickr
     
  9. slave4DomWoman

    slave4DomWoman New Member

    My ex gf was a Domme... she was very much into the whips and bondage aspects of it. Tying me up and beating me was simply part of her sexuality, necessary foreplay for her.

    For my part I enjoyed serving her in that way, although I'm not really a masochist and I'm more into the service aspects than she was; she wasn't really into telling me what to do or controlling me outside of the bedroom.

    I've known I was submissive for quite a while, since I was a teenager probably. To me it just seems completely natural to worship a woman and try to please her rather than get pleasure for myself. It's just my place to be completely dominated.

    As a submissive male I also feel completely subservient to alpha males... Dominants and Bulls. In my mind, a woman deserves the real pleasure that only these real men can offer her, so it simply makes sense to me that I ought to be her cuckold, a toy for her to play with sometimes rather than someone who can completely satisfy her sexually.
     
  10. poormissy

    poormissy New Member

    Yes, Into BDSM

    i am Emma Kelly's cuckold. We have been together 17 yrs and it has always been Femdom. At times we are very active and at other times not so much. We have gone through 24/7 for long periods that included lots of routine chores, discipline, chastity, cuckolding, etc.

    At the moment due to a major lifestyle change (We lived in Japan for 13 yrs but are now back in the USA) and very busy schedules we get very little time for overt BDSM. Em still cucks me as often as possible. She is seeing a black man who get to town about once a month. If he lived closer, I'm sure it would be more.

    As our life settles I'm sure we will return to more BDSM. We own a stainless steel puppy cage that Em enjoys keeping me in for extended periods but now with a young child in the family we have had to reduce that activity to a few hours now and then. But it can be very intense when it happens. Em likes to tie me up and break out the electric toys. She has a remote control and gets a kick out of watching me squirm when she pops the button.

    scott aka poormissy
     
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  11. shooter_18t

    shooter_18t New Member

    I am into BDSM but not with my wife..she totally controls me and cucks me but alows me to have a sub playtoy that I use and abuse with my wifes consent.Although I am dom to my toy...my wife still tells me when and how long I can see her as well as gives me order and advise on what to do to her when we have sessions
     

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  12. NECuck

    NECuck Super Moderator

    Is That Ink on Your Toy

    Shooter, I noticed some ink on your play toy.. Do you have any close-up shots of the ink???
     
  13. Toson

    Toson Active Member

    I have never done BDSM but I really want to try it some day. I would definitely want to be the sub.
     
  14. shooter_18t

    shooter_18t New Member

    NECuck yes indeed I do..I will go look for one...she is my lil 23 yr old playtoy
     

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  15. cpl40fun

    cpl40fun New Member

    My wife and I aren't into hardcore BDSM. But she does love some Dom/sub play. My wife enjoys bondage and blindfolds.
     
    shooter_18t likes this.
  16. Frank12

    Frank12 New Member

    D/s and BDSM playpartners

    Oh yes absolutely! And if one of the latter type manages to find someone who is searching for that special dominant someone *before* they get hurt or abused or simply turned off to the whole scene because of so many of the more common and less aware former types then it can be fun and can open up a world of enjoyment.

    Morgan, you have said it well. It is about being able to both let go and yet know somewhere deep down that one is safe and in good hands. It takes time for them to know but it is well worth it, because having someone who will really let go can be an amazingly erotic experience for all.

    And noting cpl40fun's comment: it's rarely hardcore BDSM that people like to play at - oh there are a few, but the real sense of the D/s play is all between the ears. As I've recently noted elsewhere - the psychological impact of introducing a wife to some new little perversion right in front of her husband can be powerful and erotic for all concerned.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2010
  17. colleenslittletoy

    colleenslittletoy New Member

    being submissive i flirted with the professional dominatrix's for a while but never found one tuned into my special needs.

    like others above, i didn't get into the beatings just for beatings sake. being whipped or caned just hurt and brought no zone of submissiveness necessary to get off in one way or another.

    one day, in my early days, with a kinky gf i asked her to play along with me and trick her sister.

    Kim agreed but with some reservations.

    when we got to her sister's i waited as they talked for the right moment and then interrupted their conversation and said they were full of bullshit.

    kim stood up and slapped me across the face, (the plan). her sister was stunned. kim then proceeded to berate me with sarcastic comments like, if i want your opinion i'll ask it otherwise shut the hell up or i'll bend you over my knee again.

    kim didn't really understand my need to be humiliated in front of someone, lose the respect of her sister forever, but it really turned me on.

    we fucked like rabbits when we got home, and with kim atop, she slapped me again. her eyes shome with wicked delight because she knew the act made me explode like a rocket.

    from then on, kim would give me slap just to take control. it always worked.

    my first alpha experience in the cuck world was when a guy who was fucking my gf came over. he was shorter than me and most of the world would have thought i could take him.

    maybe i could have but when he slapped me for not having the right kind of beer i knew i would always be victim to a strong, confident alpha type.
     
  18. Sailasub

    Sailasub New Member

    I have owned the same sub for over 6 years. Early on we discussed this and agreed it is a two way street. Both sub and Dom have to get something they crave from the relationships and the pleasure/benefit has to be greater than the price. I don't mean dollars but cost to family, health, peace of mind, etc.

    One reason I am looking for an additional sub is that my primary is not always available due to family considerations. One of my rules is Health and Family first. On the other hand, when we are together one of her primary needs is serving, servicing and satisfying me, so there is a nice match there. :)

    One thing that I find makes a huge difference is liking, respecting and trusting the person you are playing with. oops, have to run... the boats are calling. Yes, we are all driven by different motivators.
     
  19. mistressmyra

    mistressmyra New Member

    I enjoy the psychological asspects of domination more than the physical asspects. I don't beat but will spank because that is more submissive for the cuck. Having the cuck choose between various activities of my design, is fun for me and puts the cuck in an uncomfortable dilemma. Plus, it lets me be creative which is important to me. We both get something out of it.
     
  20. tascouple

    tascouple New Member

    We are very much into the BDSM lifestyle and like chatting to others and meeting others with the same interest.
     

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