Reading the excellent thread "under the bed" from waynerobertson made me wonder, who drives the kinks and has the naughty imagination in your relationship? My wife in her early 20s confessed to having a long term affair with my best friend and told me perhaps more because she was getting bored with it or as she said, she wanted me to know. He was angry she had told me and took pleasure telling me how easy my young wife was to seduce and would sometimes just say to him i want a fuck and remove her jeans, he told me what they used to do which was very risky but he said she liked the thrill I might catch them. She begged forgiveness and the marriage survived only because I actually liked this way of life, loved her and wanted to control it to a degree and be involved in some way but for her to carry on having partners outside the marriage. Since then I have introduced her to a few men, she has never shown any enthusiasm until she met them however, just replying “if you want I will meet him but just for a chat” we both knew that wasn’t the case. What I observed is her flirting with men she liked, occasionally driving the meet, sometimes saying she would like to go to another pub then by climbing into the rear of my car on the way back and engaging in sex, oral or allowing him to heavy pet her in front of me sometimes an hour after the first time we met him. Other times she would just say “yes ok” to my question “what did you think” meaning yes I will meet him again to have sex, this giving me the green light to book a hotel for the next meet. She has always declined my suggestion she find herself a chap saying “ive never chased a man in my wife except you and I’m not starting now” Her persona in normal life is that she is so vanilla no man would dare or even think of making a pass at her, even though I’ve seen hundreds eying her up. Nobody has any idea what she’s really like or capable of or enjoys, she hides it well as she always has. Most of our kinks with the exception of her going with a man haven’t been driven by her, or me she enjoys the experience, sex and the pleasures it brings us but obviously mainly her. Several have described her as unsatisfiable in bed an animal, who knows what she wants certainly no ordinary man can satisfy her I’ve seen that. A few years back we entered a long term true three-way relationship with a man, now he could satisfy her with a mix of sex, BDSM over many hours, I found he drove things sexually now, it was he that decided I was a cuckold and introduced the term into our marriage, it was he that decided I was too masculine and that I should permanently wear knickers and have painted toe nails and later be fitted with a CB and wear a subs collar, he didn’t tell me he told her and she instructed me to. In our marriage and vanilla life I remained the dominant one still in my knickers and CB, in our sex life he is the master. I found he could get her to do anything he wanted, as one example, I had asked her when she was 16 if she still had her school uniform, she said NO why, over the years I have longed to dress her as a schoolgirl as I never saw her in one missing that pleasure by weeks, it’s always been answered with a firm NO that shuts that conversion down stone dead… she didn’t like that idea one bit. I mentioned it to him, he said umm what school uniform would you like? I will take her to a shop and get her a full uniform for you, I told him you’ve no chance he said trust me. A few weeks later my wife now in a full school uniform happily walked out of our house and we drove incidentally past the kids coming out of school wearing the same uniform. Once in a quite location she happily went for a walk wearing it, passing a couple of chaps out walking whilst doing so she didn’t appear to care as they looked at a woman dressed as a schoolie she posed for pictures for me and has often been out in it for me. I would add I’ve no desire towards the real wearers. This is just one example where her lover drives our sex life with his ideas and kinks, I could write for hours but the question is who drives the kinks in your relationship, You, her or her lover? I have always found it strange we have a honest friendship but she shows little enthusiasm to meet new partners but once she’s with them after a kiss WOW shes so easy.