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Who decides and drives the kinks?

Discussion in 'Humiliation X' started by tractorman, Jan 5, 2018.

  1. tractorman

    tractorman Well-Known Member

    Reading the excellent thread "under the bed" from waynerobertson made me wonder, who drives the kinks and has the naughty imagination in your relationship?

    My wife in her early 20s confessed to having a long term affair with my best friend and told me perhaps more because she was getting bored with it or as she said, she wanted me to know. He was angry she had told me and took pleasure telling me how easy my young wife was to seduce and would sometimes just say to him i want a fuck and remove her jeans, he told me what they used to do which was very risky but he said she liked the thrill I might catch them.

    She begged forgiveness and the marriage survived only because I actually liked this way of life, loved her and wanted to control it to a degree and be involved in some way but for her to carry on having partners outside the marriage.

    Since then I have introduced her to a few men, she has never shown any enthusiasm until she met them however, just replying “if you want I will meet him but just for a chat” we both knew that wasn’t the case.

    What I observed is her flirting with men she liked, occasionally driving the meet, sometimes saying she would like to go to another pub then by climbing into the rear of my car on the way back and engaging in sex, oral or allowing him to heavy pet her in front of me sometimes an hour after the first time we met him.

    Other times she would just say “yes ok” to my question “what did you think” meaning yes I will meet him again to have sex, this giving me the green light to book a hotel for the next meet.

    She has always declined my suggestion she find herself a chap saying “ive never chased a man in my wife except you and I’m not starting now”

    Her persona in normal life is that she is so vanilla no man would dare or even think of making a pass at her, even though I’ve seen hundreds eying her up. Nobody has any idea what she’s really like or capable of or enjoys, she hides it well as she always has.

    Most of our kinks with the exception of her going with a man haven’t been driven by her, or me she enjoys the experience, sex and the pleasures it brings us but obviously mainly her. Several have described her as unsatisfiable in bed an animal, who knows what she wants certainly no ordinary man can satisfy her I’ve seen that.

    A few years back we entered a long term true three-way relationship with a man, now he could satisfy her with a mix of sex, BDSM over many hours, I found he drove things sexually now, it was he that decided I was a cuckold and introduced the term into our marriage, it was he that decided I was too masculine and that I should permanently wear knickers and have painted toe nails and later be fitted with a CB and wear a subs collar, he didn’t tell me he told her and she instructed me to.

    In our marriage and vanilla life I remained the dominant one still in my knickers and CB, in our sex life he is the master.

    I found he could get her to do anything he wanted, as one example,

    I had asked her when she was 16 if she still had her school uniform, she said NO why, over the years I have longed to dress her as a schoolgirl as I never saw her in one missing that pleasure by weeks, it’s always been answered with a firm NO that shuts that conversion down stone dead… she didn’t like that idea one bit.

    I mentioned it to him, he said umm what school uniform would you like? I will take her to a shop and get her a full uniform for you, I told him you’ve no chance he said trust me. A few weeks later my wife now in a full school uniform happily walked out of our house and we drove incidentally past the kids coming out of school wearing the same uniform. Once in a quite location she happily went for a walk wearing it, passing a couple of chaps out walking whilst doing so she didn’t appear to care as they looked at a woman dressed as a schoolie she posed for pictures for me and has often been out in it for me.

    I would add I’ve no desire towards the real wearers.

    This is just one example where her lover drives our sex life with his ideas and kinks, I could write for hours but the question is who drives the kinks in your relationship,

    You, her or her lover?

    I have always found it strange we have a honest friendship but she shows little enthusiasm to meet new partners but once she’s with them after a kiss WOW shes so easy.
    tslave and chootdas like this.
  2. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member

    Quote: "I have always found it strange we have a honest friendship but she shows little enthusiasm to meet new partners but once she’s with them after a kiss WOW shes so easy."

    This is pretty obvious. She's married to you. She sees herself as your girl, and you're her best friend. She doesn't want to risk her relationship with you, or hurt you, her best Friend and husband. Obviously what she gets out of your relationship is more important to her than what she gets from a FB.

    At the same time, she is only human. There is a thrill when one connects with a new partner that the committed partner can never supply. That's why she cheated. But she felt guilty because she'd betrayed you. Of course she's reluctant to jeopardize her primary relationship. But she's like an addict. She gets a rush from connecting with her lovers. It is a real, physical thing. Doing things for him feeds that rush. Lucky for you that you both seem to get off on that. Doesn't speak well of your "friend" though. I'm not too comfortable with the illicit cheating. But now that it's out in the open, it's your choice.

    I don't think it's all that uncommon or undesirable for a wife to be picky when choosing a lover. It is going to have to be on her terms. Don't you think that's healthy? If she's going to be intimate with someone, she wants him to push all the right buttons. Would you have it any other way?

    Not to steal your thread, but I'll relate my experience.
    I had a similar relationship with my first wife. She never cheated, but I told her for years her how excited I would be if she would fuck another guy. One day it dawned on me that she was flirting with my best friend. When I confronted her, she confessed that she very badly wanted to fuck him. Despite all of my encouragement, she was still worried about my reaction. I not only told her to go for it, but I told her I'd set it up with him.

    I met up with him, and got him up to speed. I invited him to dinner a few nights later, and told him he should feel free to take advantage. He was incredulous that I'd want to share my beautiful young wife with him, but being recently single, he was more than happy to get some NSA sex. I told him it was all good as long as he kept in mind that I loved her and just wanted to see her get fucked as much as she needed to be.

    I guess when our child was born, my wife settled in to being a mother. She traded the almost over the top sexy, even slutty look she'd had when we first met for jeans and more of a hippy look with long skirts and birkenstocks. I'll have to admit I missed seeing her in high heels and sexy short skirts. I was always after her to dress sexier, but she was resistant. I'd buy her lingerie, high heels, and sexy outfits that she'd never wear.

    So I was pretty shocked the night my friend was coming to dinner and I got home from work to find my wife had pretty much dome a complete makeover, and was teetering around on high heels in a short skirt and blouse, while she finished preparing dinner. When I peaked under her skirt, I was blown away to see she was wearing an especially sexy thong and garted belt with lace top stockings I'd given her on Valentines that she'd never worn for me. Although she'd told me she wanted to fuck him and might play around, it was the first time I realized she meant it. And it was the first time she did something for him she wouldn't do for me. Suddenly, I was a little confused myself. I'd felt like I'd been driving this, but I too felt like she'd taken the wheel, and it wasn't perfectly comfortable for me. Here was the mother of our child dressed like an absolute slut for another guy, when she wouldn't do it for me.

    When he got there, he saw she meant business too. Dinner was uneventful, and nothing happened until after dinner. My wife nursed the baby to sleep, and left us at the table drinking beer while she put the baby to bed. My friend told me he couldn't believe how sexy my wife's breasts were, and how much he'd like to taste them. I told him he was going to have his chance, and I knew how much she would be turned on to hear that. When she returned without the baby, I told her what he'd said, and she immediately pulled out her tit and put it in his open mouth. I personally wasn't into breast milk, so she was absolutely delighted when my friend started sucking away. When he came up for air, I think she was lost in the moment, because she took his head in her hands and just started kissing him deeply. I think at that point they were barely aware I was in the room, but I started to feel pervy staring at them, so I got busy cleaning up after the dinner.

    I couldn't believe what was happening. We'd fantasized for years about this happening, but now that it was, it was much more complicated than I'd imagined. It blew my mind seeing my wife hungrily kissing my friend, and him responding in kind, even though I'd set it up. And when I peaked in on the a little later, I was again amazed to see him reclined on a sofa with my wife between his legs, head bobbing away, quite obviously satisfying her fantasy, as well as mine.

    That was the first time she played another guy, and it wasn't long before they were having an affair. A few days later, they had a date to meet up, and my wife told me she she blew him again. The next time they met he fucked her too.

    On one hand it was an amazing turn around to see my wife suddenly so interested in her looks again. I'd come home from work and she'd begetting ready for a date, all dolled up and super sexy looking, like the wild girl I'd first met, rather than the more conservative mother she'd turned into. But it was usually just for a date. Yes, there were fringe benefits for me, it was my dream come true, but it went much further than I'd imagined it would. One night she came home late and I was already in bed. She clicked into the room, obviously still wearing her heels. She climbed into the bed and sat right on my chest, straddling me. I could smell alcohol, and his cologne, and then she started rubbing herself on my face. She told me to lick her, and when I did, I realized she was literally dripping wet with cum. I weakly tried to resist, I'd never been able to lick her freshly fucked cunt, but this time she wasn't going to let me out of it. Eventually I got into it, and after a while she wanted me to fuck her. I couldn't believe how different she felt than normal. I didn't last longer than a few pumps before I came, once I realized why she felt so different.

    I think in a lot of relationships, there are going to be different driving forces if everyone's needs are going to be addressed. Hopefully it can all be at a level you can all enjoy. It does seem nice to me that you and your wife got over your first challenge and are able to communicate well, and I hope you are all getting your needs met whoever is doing the driving.
    tslave and Pathedick like this.
  3. tractorman

    tractorman Well-Known Member


    you haven't stolen my thread just enriched it, many thanks very, very similar to my experiences please continue if you wish, I would love to hear more
    Pathedick likes this.
  4. capn.steve

    capn.steve Active Member

    I'm glad you feel that way, as it was certainly my intention! It looks like you are in an exciting position that many of us here would envy. Cuckolding is a complex and spicy stew of emotions. Very few if any of us would like hot pepper or other spices alone, but properly combined and presented they can make for a wonderful, rich flavor. The same could be said for cuckolding. Thanks again for sharing.
    Pathedick likes this.
  5. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    My wife does; I'm just along for the (fun) ride.
    Carl Blankenhorn and Pathedick like this.
  6. legshowcuck

    legshowcuck Well-Known Member


    as long as She is ok with it...;)
  7. My wife had one kink, after her lover came inside her I then was allowed to corral his leaking sperm back into her as they kissed ; by the time I finished, he was ready again and Sonja was super aroused
  8. obedientcuck

    obedientcuck Well-Known Member

    Lately my wife just wants her Bull to fuck her. She's dominant, but lately hasn't been acting much on it. Our Bull is a Dom and likes ordering me about, making me grovel, etc. so since my wife has taken a back seat now he's 100% in charge of the kinks. If i have something i want to try, i suggest it to my wife and she'll let him know. From there it's up to him when and whether it will happen.
    Carl Blankenhorn likes this.
  9. canadianwittol

    canadianwittol Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Besides enjoying this lifestyle, neither of us are really kinky. For the first 7 years of my marriage my wife cuckolded me with a series of lovers who were not even aware of the fact I had knowledge of the affairs; so for the longest time I was totally content with just the simple knowledge of the fact that my wife was unfaithful.

    With that being said, my wife's favourite bull, who she met two years ago, is very into the domination aspect of being a bull and he has a few kinks he has brought into our lives, most of which I have tended to accept begrudgingly although tend to become content with over time, while my wife seems to accept his kinks with a passive indifference.

    I suppose you could say that while we're both happy to indulge him, but if anyone is driving the kinks in the arrangement it isn't either of us, it's her #1 bull.
    slowpoking likes this.
  10. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    Sweet. Did you ever get to dip in there for sloppy seconds or team up for a DP?
  11. When we rented the motel room with a two beds I was strictly peripheral. most of the time I had my rum and coke by the window as I saw her and her teen boytoy have sex, if they wanted to make love I had to turn the other way and listen, as for corralling his sperm I initially tried to just use my tongue, I later found out it was easier to put it in my mouth and put it back , kind of a reverse cream pie
    Bartleby likes this.

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