Discussion in 'A Womans Perspective' started by Jessie N woody, Mar 22, 2018.
Her pleasure comes first...
jealousy in my point of view is an advantage: no event makes it clear to me how much I love my wife. Isn't it a wonderful moment to feel this love?
Yes, open communications is key, but sometimes the lifestyle works best if the cuck is submissive and the couple have a clear understanding that the woman is always in charge of their sex life and can make all the sexual and lifestyle decisions; most cukbbies (cuckold + husband, though also applies to bfs) need to agree to this and solemly commit that he will graciously, willingly and enthusiastically accept whatever his Queen decides. Equally important for open communications, however, if cucky is unhappy with what his Queen is deciding, she should permit her cuck to respectfully (and not while she is enjoying or getting ready to enjoy time with her lover) ask her to discuss their lifestyle so that he can ask her to consider a minor change. It is best if his Queen sometimes rejects his request, for no real reason, so that her cuck understands that if and when she decides to accommodate her cuck's needs, it is indeed a gift of love she is giving him and he should be grateful for her generous act of love and kindness to him; but that his wife is under no compelling obligation to do so. That will make his happiness at your granting the change all the sweeter --- because he understands that you do not have to do so. So if your husband becomes jealous and you love him, you should let him communicate his discomfort, and you should make sure he knows that you are seriously thinking about what he has asked. But that does not necessarily mean you should or will accommodate his request, because the agreement between the wife and cukbby from Day 1 must include the mutual, irrevocable promise that your happiness always comes first and your decisions about your sex lives is unappealable. If you two make that pact up front and he is an honest, honorable and trustworthy guy, he will honor his vows to you and be enormously thankful whenever you grant any forbearance or accommodation for him, albeit infrequent --- because he knows that he has no entitlement to it.
Four quick post scripts to the absolute necessity of the up front agreement:
1. It must be in writing and signed by both the Queen and the cukbby, and if there is already a prime or live-in lover in your life, by the lover too. This is for 2 reasons. Having to write it out requires lots of careful thought and time. That requires you both to think out your individual and collective goals, desires, wants and hard prohibitions; all the anticipated potential problems (e.g., jealousy on the part of the cuck; cukbby's feelings of loneliness, abandonment and rejection when you and your lover are away or self-absorbed with one another; feelings of inadequacy when he sees/hears how much more your lover satisfies you or how fully he can fill you; feelings of fatigue and perhaps resentment from your husband working hard to please you and your lover --- entertaining, cooking, serving and cleaning up the house (esp. the master bedroom and boudoir) as well as cleaning your bodies, both pre- and post-coitus; helping you to primp and prepare for your lover, etc.) and how you will handle each of these issues if/when they occur. The written agreement is also there later for reference to help you recall your thought processes for resolving these sorts of issues.
2. The written contract should have an automatic expiration every 12 months with a renewal clause that stipulates that it will automatically renew without change (other than changes the Queen makes throughout the year) if no one states he/she wants to terminate the lifestyle agreement. The 12 month cycle provides room to keep at making the lifestyle "work," especially in the beginning phases and forcing you both to hang in for the year and overcome the hurdles that always accompany new things, but also the flexibility to re-shape the lifestyle annually as your lives change and you mature.
3. The agreement document should very specifically spell out the minimum duties of each person in relation to the lifestyle. (Cuck's chores, behavior and respect of/to the Queen and her lover(s)/bull(s); the proper forms of addressing the Queen and her lovers, including recognition of the right of the Queen (and/or her lovers at her discretion) to discipline your cukbby as you see fit, and what kind of discipline the Queen (and her lover) may employ; limitations on your cuck's participation in your sex life (e.g., restrictions on the husband's privileges with respect to sex and sensuality with you (when, where, how frequent, what kinds, whether and when he can see you naked, etc.), what activities you can or cannot enjoy with your lovers (usually this should be unrestricted), and what sexual activities your lovers can have with your cukbby.)
4. The written agreement should be reviewed from time to time during the year by the cuck, and sometimes, at your discretion, by the cuck and his wife, and perhaps your lover) to keep things in perspective and remind all of their respective obligations and privileges.
Sorry I took so much space for this. We just think that the time you spend thinking about what you are going to be doing, and the time it takes to reduce it to a coherent, explicit writing is essential to maximizing its likelihood to work well.
Good luck and lots of satisfaction to you both -- and to your lovers and bulls, too. Let me know if you have questions or disagreements with our view.
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