two kinds of men

Discussion in 'Real Life Experiences' started by sproggo, Jul 13, 2016.

  1. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    I love Anais Nin. Such erotic power and self-awareness in a woman's hands. Which brings to mind the film Henry & June - based on her relationship with Miller (and cuckolding her husband at the time). Maria de Medeiros is delicious as Nin. She emanates a stunning mix of innocence and boldness. A personal favorite, even with artistic liberties. A gorgeous period piece. I suppose if there ever was a film portraying the archetypal alpha male (Miller) vs. a beta (husband Hugo), it's this one.

    michael1987 likes this.
  2. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    My own erotic writing began with a testosterone-charged metaphorical Bang when I hit 13 and had been masturbating some 10 times every day for well over a year to my deliciously heterosexual fantasies which I fanned with my one-handed three-eyed readings from self-selected erotic works of Harris, Miller, Nin, Vassi, and the unforgettable, consummately cock-hardening novel by the masterly Englishman John Cleland, "Fanny Hill", in which the leading young male character, Charles, appears to have been at least as shy and handsome, beautifully-built, pale-skinned and big-cocked and horny as I can immodestly claim (by popular vote among my following of slightly younger five lissome and very pretty girls) was at Sweet Seventeen. Charles of course was more than a beautifully horny model lover of young women for me, he was also my first gay obsession. My striking resemblance to him per Cleland's obviously also gay-eyed description of him, very likely influenced my first boyfriend's choice of me, and my quickly following one of him. He was our head(!) boy and captain of our senior swim-team and total Hero at high-school. I shyly shared my copy of "Fanny Hill" with him to turn him onto me, which it surely and quickly did. It also turned him on to my 16 year-old girlfriend and classmate who I shared with him as well. He was, like me, a virgin at 17, but in our superlatively hot and wondrous exploratory threesomes with my girlfriend he turned into the most beautiful fucker I could ever have imagined. I should commit my recollections of us three to writing one day. But I think my memories of him fucking her will forever best any of my habitually laboured literary efforts to describe it. Unless of course I grow a second right hand.
  3. T_toy8

    T_toy8 New Member

    Hi Don, you have a way with words and insight that I would never have, I confess I looked up anise nin in google, how has she influenced you personally as a pioneer femoist.
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2016
  4. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    In those veins, I read Margeurite Duras' "Jules et Jim" after I saw Alain Resnais' film version of it (five times!) in my 16th year and jacked-off to it insanely. In so doing I fell deeply in love with Jean Moreau who played the woman shared by the two men and sang superbly, to her own beautiful guitar accompaniment, "Le Tourbillon" which haunts me to this very day. Our present menage-a-trois is uncannily similar in its interpersonal dynamics and erotic wistfulness and beauty, especially as between me and my buddy. Duras and Resnais undoubtedly influenced my teenage and subsequent erotic journeyings and sexual development and style in ways I have no desire to try and understand or write about. But I need to admit that much in all as Jean Moreau was my sex goddess of my teens, her dark lover that she drove to his death with her in the lake in the final scene of "Jules et Jim", was as spunky as fuck---in a rather Alpha way.
  5. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    Sorry folks in writing as in lovemaking when I get carried away punctuation flies out the window so someone please edit it for me not my lovemaking of course just my above post you all understand this stream of consciousness style of writing is not my invention you can blame james joyce for how fucking hard my Oddessy and other posts are to read period
  6. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    For me, Nin brought to light the full width and depth of the female sexual potential. She didn't just experiment freely with multiple sex partners, she was analytically introspective about her erotic desires and motivation. She considered her sexuality in a sober, thoughtful way, but was still open to the reality of her own sexual response and pleasure without guilt or recrimination. Then she put all that into words.

    It wasn't assumed that women had sexual thoughts and fantasies in her time. In fact even today, many men still believe women, or at least "good" women, aren't prone to the frequency or graphic nature of men's sexual fantasies and obsessions. The false belief that women are the byproduct of evolutionary monogamy still persists, not due to evidence, but due to male jealousy and the convenient soothing of the male ego. Nin wasn't only a courageous pioneer in her day (which likens today's mores to a bacchanalia by comparison), she helped open my eyes as an inexperienced young man as I floundered with notions of what girls were, what they thought, what they wanted. Were they really so different, and what if I saw them as behavioral equals? Empathy on an unexpected level goes a long way for adolescents. It enables relationships to be built with frankness, honesty, and trust.

    Were girls still sex objects? Um - absolutely. Teen hormones saw to that. But for me, the understanding was a raft across those turbulent waters, and in some cases a warm hand extended to a girl who struggled with her own adolescence. The pretty ones still gave me erections, but at the same time I understood they were people, a lot more like me that many guys would admit. I was slender, quiet, bookish - but girls were drawn to the empathy I showed them, and a fair share of them rewarded that with sex, eventually. Lesson two: patience.

    Although I'm not as slender as I used to be, I'm still quiet and bookish. Put me in a room full of extroverted "alpha" men and beautiful women, and I probably won't get the attention of many women, but the ones that I do meet will likely be friends for months or years to come. Thanks in part to Nin, I've learned that where relationships with women are concerned, quality beats quantity, every single time.

  7. T_toy8

    T_toy8 New Member

    I think people like nin are more prevalent in the era you are reefing too, and maybe their story (and others like it are likely to be found in that era)

    Looking at the circumstances of the time

    · Multiple Wars killing men leaving a shortage of women

    · Alpha male’s taking pretty women ( and being content)

    · Less attractive but feisty outspoken females taking beta males

    Therefore I can only assume by nin’s work she was a charismatic less attractive lady with beta male and smooth tongue for wooing alpha males. (All the prime aspect that alpha males look for as a side tract from their boring trophy wives)

    “The false belief that women are the byproduct of evolutionary monogamy still persists, not due to evidence, but due to male jealousy and the convenient soothing of the male ego.”

    You’re totally correct there evolution suggests polygamy.
  8. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    I meant to suggest that the notion that women are more monogamous than men due to evolutionary genetics is most likely mistaken. I think it's still unclear whether monogamy evolved in humans, was culturally imposed, or is a combination of both.

    Early pictures of Nin suggest she was not unattractive. It's said she had sexual relationships with many prominent authors of the day. To me, she's important not because her writings on sexuality stand alone, but because she was a pioneer of self-awareness in an era when feminine expression of sexuality in any form was taboo. In a personal sense, she's important because I found her work to be enlightening during my adolescence.

    michael1987 likes this.
  9. fkmywfxn

    fkmywfxn Well-Known Member

    Women, like men, would like to get to know the many interesting people they see or meet.

    That was the main reason I talked my wife into having sex with other men. I wanted her to experience other men. She fell in love with the first man I talked her into having sex with since we met. It's a long story. We were both different types of men. She had two flavors to choose from.

    It's best to do your own research.
  10. TnDriver

    TnDriver New Member

    Most if not all of lit I have read concentrates only in the alpha and the beta, I've also read a lot if works that focus on dominant and submissive behavior. The one thing that stood out to me when you tie the two together is the absence of the characters that would be the switches in a BDSM setting. To me that would be represented by the husband/stag in the stag/vixen side of the lifestyle that uses the term Hotwife. As in they watch, participate, and sometimes they act just as submissive as a cuckold. But, they also have just enough of the jock attitude to reclaim her when all is done, just not necessarily as rough as the bad boy bull. Then they aren't as submissive nor do they get into the humilation angle as the cuckold does. The one consistent thing with both sides of the hotwHot lifestyle is more often than not is almost always the husband that introduces the wife to the lifestyle. Also, we need to be reminded there are times we all will face the one truth, be careful what we wish for we just might get it and we aren't guaranteed to like the end result.
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  11. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    Excellent analysis, thank you

    Last year I conceded/abdicated to my long-term and charming young bisexual black buddy (who has always been and still is my only homosexual lover) and my wife who are now married to each other while the three of us nevertheless continue to live in the very fulfilling menage-a-trois that we established more than 5 years ago when he was 19.

    Neither my buddy nor I are into BDSM or Humiliation in any form at all, nor has my ex-wife ever encouraged or desired either of those activities vis-a-vis my buddy and me, or her, at any time.

    Rather, as is made clear by my many posts here, the very fluid sexual and emotional interacting of the three of us---effectively as the four easily alternating configurations of MF, FM, MFM and MM---evidences to us that both of us men have strong needs to feel at times submissive, one to the other homosexually and in our threesomes with my ex-wife, followed by or admixed with in the same encounter, to feel and act dominantly towards each other as "competing" males, especially in getting off on deliberately displaying temporary physical and emotional "dominance" in the Man-Woman copulatory scenario with the non-copulatory male taking and truly loving the role of Voyeur, and, on occasions, that of a hands-on facilitator of arousal, penetration and thrusting by the man into the woman.

    As such, the alternating and erotically very intense relationships the three of us find ourselves in from encounter to encounter and sometimes in the same encounter, seem to utterly defy categorisation in "conventional" Hotwife and/or Cuckoldry terms, despite that the emotional dynamics and freely alternating physical sexual interacting between us---as three couples on the one hand and as a threesome on the other---feel to me on occasions to have some features in common with those said to be enjoyed by the woman and her two men in "conventional" and to all appearances much commoner Hotwife and Cuckold scenarios.
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2019
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