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[question] My female (28) friend is in doubt

Discussion in 'Hotwifing, Swinging and Swapping' started by 35211, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. 35211

    35211 New Member

    Hi all,

    as this is a great forum full of great people I thought I'd ask. Here is the thing. Female friend of mine is unable to attain relationship lasting longer than few years tops. Last time we've spoke we've come to consulsion that main reason for this is that after certain period of time, she have this urge to feel fresh love. And that feel wear out overtime. I am adamant that she would love to have familly, home and longlife relationship. But I am also conviced that this cycles will not stop anytime soon. And in vanilla relationship this means end.

    So my question mostly on guys here is:
    Would you handle, or generally be interested in young and very hot girl, that would periodically have lover. But she would not only get physical, she would fall in love with him. Given she have no interest in leaving you with him. Just to live through the romance, before it fade out again. ... to spice it up, I am aware that she might not be completly strange to chastity and denial play. Her sexdrive is high, but the love and romance is key component.

    What are your opinions?
     
    JeffHouston and DeannaHouston like this.
  2. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member

    Hopefully others in this category will chime in, as I know for a fact that there are members of this forum that desire/want/have that exact relationship style.

    Speaking for myself, with my wife some level of feelings must exist for her to let another man fuck her. So I have to accept that. It's risky, and she knows the only thing I fear in this is losing her in the end because of it. But it is worth it. Due to this requirement of feelings, her level of extracurricular activity is much lower than it is for others in this lifestyle. Also, I have no interest in chastity or denial, and neither does she. Ours is a "pure" hotwife lifestyle. Meaning, I'm not a wimp/sissy, I don't have a small dick, I don't have performance issues, and I could satisfy any woman. I just like to see/hear/hear about her fucking other men as often as she wants to.
     
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  3. saturn

    saturn Super Moderator Staff Member

    BTW, the reason I fell into this was because of women like the one you describe. I realized that eventually most people will cheat; no judgement here, it's natural to do so and it is only societal restrictions that keep people from doing so more often. The reasons relationships end is due to irrational jealousy and/or the dishonesty and feelings of guilt/betrayal. So, I rationalized that I would rather keep the woman I love and accept any need she might have to fuck others. I'd rather know about it up front, or as soon as possible after it happened rather than let her desire/need or, worse, guilt eat at her until she resents me and eventually leaves.
     
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  4. 35211

    35211 New Member

    Thanks for reply. As I spoke with her recently I though this lifestyle might provide some sort of solution for her. She is not sure whether there are (exist) people in such kind of lifestyle, so I might let her read it. Obviously I am not sure, if she will try or not. But the cycle is repeating over and over again. So perhaps one might accept his or her nature and stop feeling guilty and ashamed for own needs. Get rid of the dishonesty and lying, mostly to self. Power of will is only so strong before it break, that I find impossible to hold desires such strong on leash.

    As a matter of fact I know she does not desire wimp or sissy, just like most women don't. Just partner. Switch at most. I've mentioned denial play, just to point out, that she might enjoy more than one part of this lifestyle.

    Your approach is very mature and inteligent in my point of view. Not far from what might actually suit her as well. If I know her right.
     
  5. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    Saturn, I wish I could double like this. That is a beautiful and kind outlook on human needs. I feel like you understand.

    35211, What your friend is doing is normal and healthy. I think your idea of her finding a man that is so secure....he will support her, love her, encourage her is very attainable. New relationship energy can be very exciting but having a husband like Saturn is one of the best feelings in the world.

    I am more like your friend, I wanted a stable loving relationship with kids, dogs, ...the whole shebang. I found it at the age of 28. My husband understands what I need. He helps me get my needs met. At 42 I have a deep love for Jeff, he has soothed me, loved me and accepted me. I respect him.

    For me I no longer look for or desire connection with other men. I just want to fuck them and use them as living vibrators....but I think I am getting the love and acceptance I need from Jeff.

    I hope your friend can be brave enough to look for what she needs, and not put herself into the trap of trying to fit into a stereotype of how women should behave.

    Deanna
     
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  6. UnicornBull

    UnicornBull Member

    In my experience, woman that have sexual relationships with other man. I generally categorize them as follows:

    1. Their husbands/boyfriends are emotionally unavailable or lacking.
    2. Their husband/boyfriends are sexually unavailable or lacking.
    3. They are adrenaline and thrill seekers.

    As a bull, I find that 2 and 3 are very common when the woman has permission from their husbands. I find that those relationships are very stable and everybody understand their roles. The woman is usually just seeking better sex or likes the thrill of going against the social construct of having monogamous (sexual) relationships. There is nothing wrong with that as long as the husband is okay with it.

    If your woman belongs to category 1, then only you and her can fix the relationship through communication.

    I hope that helps!
     
    saturn likes this.
  7. rob788

    rob788 Active Member

    She can have both if you're interesting in sharing her. My wife was with four guys, from age 14 on, before we met. Her past experience, which she confessed to me not long after we first met, made it far easier for us to arrive at where we are now. After eight years of marriage and a few months' encouragement, she began fucking her boss and a former co-worker. Two younger friends from our local college are also in the mix, but she meets all of those separately as she feels the need.

    I have no reason to believe any are a threat to our marriage. One difference perhaps to your scenario is that we have no children, but I doubt that would have a difference in the outcome. I enjoy that she is sexually satisfied with others.

    Most relationships end over sexual adventures because one or the other spouse is offended or feels cheated on. If both agree that it's okay, that doesn't seem to us to be "cheating."

    You're probably right, though, about another dick ultimately finding its way inside her.

    The best way to settle this, in our opinion, is before you're married. In our circumstance, I didn't suggest it until after we were married, but it worked out fine. Just don't throw a jealous fit when it happens; tell her you're okay with it (if you are).
     
  8. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Active Member

    She sounds amazingly healthy and in-tune with herself. And yes, if she is willing to communicate openly and honestly, she can find men who are accepting and excited by her desire for the excitement that a new relationship brings.
     
    DeannaHouston likes this.
  9. 35211

    35211 New Member

    Hi, Happy New Year and thank you all for reply. I was little busy by the end of the year, so it took me a while to write here.

    Just side note, she is just my friend. Although I have my own interest in the lifestyle, this is just me trying to give advice to somebody else.

    Unicornbull mentioned few cases that I generally agree upon. But her need is little bit different. Her man might be virtually perfect, not lacking in any of that field. It's not much about him. Over course of time she will develop desire to feel the fresh naive love, intimacy included. And then she will go back to normal, or perhaps keep a lover for sex.

    Saturn get it right. It's not all about great cock and sexual satisfaction. My question was and partially still is, how would you handle girl that is periodically falling in love, given she will not leave you and is fully aware that it is all about fleeing emotion.
     
  10. UnicornBull

    UnicornBull Member

    If she won't leave you then it wouldn't be a problem. If she'll return then I am sure you can provide something the "bull" or "lover" cannot provide. However, I would like to challenge the validity of that assumption? If you think she won't leave you then you should feel good about it?
     

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