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Others finding out

Discussion in 'Humiliation X' started by slowpoking, Feb 6, 2017.

  1. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty sure I've seen a thread about this before, but I couldn't find it, so I'm starting a new one.

    My wife and her boyfriend have kept a low profile since they began seeing each other 2 1/2 years ago. He lives in another state and they mostly got together on business trips, so they would be careful not to make any public displays of affection or to reveal that they were more than acquaintances. If they went out to eat, they'd go to a different part of town. They usually got two hotel rooms, even though only one of them got used. It sounds like they were successful and that as far as they know, no colleagues on either side (they know each other through work but are not co-workers) ever got a whiff.

    So much for that. She visited him at his home last week. On Wednesday she and I were speaking by phone and she sprung on me that his office was having a social that night and she was going with him. Clearly as his date, she said. That news caused e to spring a stiffy that surprised me. It sounded like a fairly intimate event, maybe 15 people. She met everyone spent a fair amount of time chatting with his colleagues and then even more hanging out with their spouses.

    I would not have expected to find this so arousing. She's told a couple of her closest friends, and bits of information have accidentally leaked out to some of our relatives. The former seemed mildly hot and the latter regrettable, but neither a big deal. In this case, she told me it was a little hard to catch my breath, and for the next couple days thinking about it gave me a hard erection.

    I thought about it, and think it has something to do with the information that's implied. I think the group was very well-behaved, and I don't think she dressed particularly sexy. But I thought about what would have been obvious to everyone there. It was explained or understood that my wife is staying with him while in town, so of course they're having sex. She probably disclosed what state she lives in, but it was at least clear that she traveled some distance, so that makes it obvious that the sex is good, doesn't it? People would have asked her how long she was visiting. She would have told them 6 days, and they didn't hide how besotted they are for each other, so people will infer that it's a lot of good sex.

    I knew that going to the event would mean a lot to her -- that it would be a relief to finally be able to be open and that it would feel good to show people how much she cares for him. But I thought that the sexiness of the situation would occur to her and wanted to know if she also enjoyed that. I said she must be looking forward to it and asked why. She didn't give me much, just that she was looking forward to meeting some of his colleagues, and it would be a nice evening. I stewed in arousal and frustration until we spoke the next day.

    "Didn't at least part of you think it was hot, too?"
    "The dinner?" she asked, sounding like she had no idea.
    So I walked her through it. "You're staying at his house, so it's obvious you're fucking."
    "Oh, yeah," she said, leaning into it just enough to show that she did find it hot. It was like pulling back the veil just a little, and what I saw was both welcome and expected. I mean, I'm a bit thick on such things, but even I know women should be particularly conscious of appearances and what others will make of them. Also, my wife is especially sweet and good-hearted, but I know from glimpsing it just a few glimpses over the years that she does have a catty side that she tries to hide.

    I finished walking her through and got the same way-ahead-of-you affirmation at every point. It was something, but not completely satisfying. Which is probably why I'm writing this too-long post - partly to further dissect and partly looking for confirmation and maybe elaboration. I confess I'd welcome anyone going on about what my wife, her boyfriend or dinner-goers would have thought of her attending the event with him. Or have you had your own experiences of being outed?

    By the way, I forgot to mention that I don't know if she mentioned being married. I'll save that question for her return.
     
  2. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    All of that sounds very exciting. I prefer for people to know. My guess is that she is being cagey with you because she still in the middle of it and does not want to risk getting into a fight or an emotional struggle with you. That is, until she feels confident that you really like this, she probably wants to downplay things until she gets home. That's awesome that you are enjoying it so much. Please let us know the details after she returns.
     
  3. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    SP, As you can read in Jeff's above post, he likes others to know. At first I didn't because I was a little caught up on the "slut" label. As time passes, I care less and less. Maybe she still cares and just wants to believe that others don't know. I would not force her to see that they probably know. Denial is a form of self protection. Deanna
     
  4. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    Thanks for those thoughts, Jeff and Deanna. My take was that got a rise out people knowing she's screwing him and just didn't want to admit to me that her enjoyment of the evening was anything other than wholesome. But the motivations you mentioned hadn't occurred to me. I'll take its slow and see what she's comfortable discussing.

    She's good about details of the things they do together, and I love hearing them. She's more selective about sharing her thoughts, but I enjoy whatever she's willing to reveal along those lines, too. She's got such a sexy mind.
     
  5. NEMI_CUCK

    NEMI_CUCK Member

    When my wife started cucking me I was terrified that people would find out. It was one of my biggest fears next to the thought of losing her to another man.
    We live in a very small town in rural northern Michigan. Everybody knows everybody and its hard to do anything around here without people knowing about it..
    My wife doesn't do "discrete" very well. Shes not good at hiding things or keeping secrets. At first when we started off she did pretty good but as time went on and the more men she fucked, word started getting around. I have been asked by random people if we are swingers.
    I was totally embarrassed by the whole situation but she rather likes it.. We got into an argument one day about it and she angrily yelled..."you know what?! Im glad everybody knows!! I want everybody to know!!" she said she was sick of tiptoeing around town having to worry about what everybody thinks... "Fuck what everybody thinks! Ill fuck whoever I want whenever I want...Its none of anybodies god damn business who I fuck but mine yours wantthe person im fucking."
    So yea...lol. From that time on everybody knows and at first i was uncomfortable with it but now I rather like everybody knowing. She has a lot more sex now that she doesnt have to worry about being discrete...and guys that know she "puts out" no strings attached are constantly trying to get with her.
    As Deannahouston said in a post I read a while back... Its a "dick shmorgasboard" for my wife.
     
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  6. christinebitg

    christinebitg Well-Known Member

    Oh, that is so true. When guys know that she's not faithful to you, they have a tendency to make it obvious that they're available.

    xoxoxo

    Christine
     
  7. jean.soumis

    jean.soumis Guest

    That all makes sense and fits: You can't expect a hotwife, a confident woman, to be an insecure woman at the same time, one who cares about what the local folks think. That being said, I applaud you for having the guts, as a cuckold, to face the initial weeks and months of embarrassment, no matter how erotically exciting that, too, may have been for you, just as it would be for me, I suppose.
     
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  8. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    I feel comfortable with people knowing and do not feel any embarrassment. Deanna's sexuality is beautiful and our relationship is perfect for us. Every couple has "the way that they do it" including sexuality, household chores, budgeting, raising kids and everything else. Someone else finding out about our relationship is comfortable for me and has not been an issue with those who know.
     
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  9. gatorrdw

    gatorrdw Well-Known Member

    My first wife and I flew under the radar for many, many years. My wife was the perfect soccer mom, church going, PTA mom, conservative dress in general. Behind closed doors was "our" business as she would say and no one else needed to know what she/we liked sexually. Her mother knew that she was still sexually involved with the divorced 30 year old guy that lived next door to her home (she was just 18 at the time) after we were married for a few months until it ended. And her youngest sister caught her with the well hung black man that lived with us and she actually saw him pounding her sister in our bed. Other that that no one else ever knew about our very open "shared wife lifestyle. GTR
     
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  10. jean.soumis

    jean.soumis Guest

    Wow, you had a guy staing in with you after you moved!? So when was that, how old was your wife and, most of all, her youngest siter? How did the sister respond to what she saw?
     
  11. AGuy19047

    AGuy19047 New Member

    We have a bit of a different situation. My wife is currently fucking her personal trainer who is half her age. (52 and 25). My 23-year old daughter introduced my wife to the trainer when she found out my wife was looking for one. He has been fucking my wife since October and also invites friends to fuck her too.

    We recently learned that he has been telling our daughter the details of what her mother is doing. So now she knows her mother is a slut for black men. I find that kind of exciting.
     
  12. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    Wow. Did your daughter know about your wife's activities before this?
     
  13. AGuy19047

    AGuy19047 New Member

    My wife never did anything like this before. This was all new.
     
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  14. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    My wife's young lover, who is 24, happens to be black too. He has been openly living with us for 4 years as an ostensible boarder with his own study-room with a single bed in it, but the issue of whether he is fucking my wife--which he is in our marriage-bed nightly--has never been even indirectly raised by any friend, acquaintance, neighbor or work colleague despite the three of us often appearing together in public and occasionally at outside social gatherings.

    Part of the reason for that is that he is not in the least macho or outwardly possessive or physically familiar with my wife in public or when we have visitors. He is modest, super-polite towards my wife, and beautifully-spoken and a lovely smiler and possesses in abundance that enviable grace that often characterizes quietly bisexual young black men.

    Observers of him with my wife socially do not appear regard him as her actual or likely lover, but most probably, as far as I can discern, categorize him as a non-promiscuous and socially very discreet straight-acting gay.

    I have some Italian blood in me, but the minimal mixed-race appearance of the nearly 6 month-old boy that he has fathered for my wife still causes the gaze of certain of my wife's baby-wanting female friends to occasionally wander from his smiling face to his promising-looking crotch. No wonder, with him being such desirable breeding material in every other department as well.

    But my long-term equal sexual sharing of him with my wife remains a well-kept bedroom secret which none of our aquaintances appear to want to have revealed to them, or appear to even suspect.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
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  15. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    So do you think people suspect he fathered the child, Michael. You said he doesn't give off a vibe, but her girlfriends seem to suspect something. How would you feel about people knowing?

    I'm of two minds with my situation. The idea of people finding out seems hot sometimes, but in real life it feels like a bad idea.
     
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  16. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    Actually SP, I didn't say he doesn't give off a vibe of virility and sexual vitality.

    Despite him struggling not to, he most surely does, but unwittingly and I think totally unintentionally. And an extremely powerful attractant it is to baby-wanting women like my wife and her friends. You know that breathlessly sexual Quiet Guy aura that seems to surround certain humble and sexually-innocent looking but very handsome and physically beautiful young men, of any race? Well, it envelops and radiates from him in even in his most introverted moments and draws mid-cycle women to him like a magnet and gets them covertly competing with each other for potentially sexual attention from him---which, because he is so in love with my wife, never comes.

    How would I feel about other people knowing that he fathered my wife's baby? My answer to that is "Thrilled for him". Even more thrilled than I was when my wife insisted he be named as the baby's father on the birth certificate, which he is.

    For all three of us the more important social issue is other people being able to confirm by some means that he is my wife's full-time lover. Short of them actually witnessing him fucking my wife, that is not going to happen. But if my wife disclosed it or God forbid they were by direct observation able to confirm his being her lover, I believe it would so greatly enhance his sexual status and manliness in the eyes of others that he would grow another 6 inches, so to speak. And it would also boost both his confidence and the growth of his heterosexual identity hugely.

    On that score I think it would be best for him if the secret-breaker were my wife. Because of his love and nervous concern for me as her displaced---in fact practically replaced---husband, the secret-breaker will certainly not be him.

    If and when that happens and he manfully "comes out" as my wife's lover, I will actually be very proud of him---and extremely turned on.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2017
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  17. rob788

    rob788 Guest

    The only time anyone found out about us was relatively recently. We wrote that up here ("Tense Moment:") and our follow-up to what happened not long after ("My wife and her sister"). Her sister learned of our lifestyle after seeing a cuckold screensaver on her computer and she spotted when dropping by unexpectedly, and my wife admitted to it. I was greatly bothered when my wife began telling me but relaxed after I heard her whole story. It actually worked out better than I could have imagined not long after that. But I wouldn't want anyone else knowing.

    We understand your concern.
     
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  18. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    My wife's visited her lover a couple more times since she joined him at that gathering for his office. They've socialized once or twice more but smaller affairs than the first - like going to a colleague's home for dinner.

    I just found out, though, that they'll host a party for his office at his home later this spring. For some reason that arrested me. Part of it is the same angsty jolt of knowing that they'll be together in front of others, knowing but not caring that they're recognized as sex partners. (Or maybe they do care but enjoy it.) Those feelings are ramped up a bit, I think because of the location. They and their relationship will be more of a focal point, and everyone will be gathered in the abode where she surrenders herself to him, where he conquers her. I'm not the sharpest tack on social matters, but signs of that intimacy start to seep through an event like this?

    All of those feelings I consider a positive, but they're tangled up with something else that feels negative. I think I don't like the idea of them hosting a party together. I haven't figured out why yet - if it feels like it implies a new dimension to their relationship, if I'm jealous about her doing that with him and not with me, or something else.

    I think I'll figure it out, but I doubt I'll be able to do anything about it. I'm hearing comments that I've heard from others here, like Deanna saying it's important to ask for what you need. I have taken that advice to heart, but I don't think I can in this case. I mean, how could I ask them not to have a party, to cancel any plans they've made, when I won't even be in the same state and don't know anyone else? I may talk to her/them about it at some point, maybe to head off repeats of this in the future.
     
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  19. rob788

    rob788 Guest

    Just my opinion, but I would cancel their plans. Your feelings should be equivalent to hers.
     
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  20. Gazdenied

    Gazdenied Member

    I love it that other people know. Thee humiliation of friends and neighbours knowing that my wife is free and available to anyone she fancies is fantastic.
     
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