Once a cheater, always a cheater?

Discussion in 'The Affair Zone - Cheating!' started by sirkyle6, Aug 3, 2010.

  1. sirkyle6

    sirkyle6 New Member

    What do you guys think about this old saying?

    I'm a bit concerned because I'm newly married and recently found out my wife cheated on her former husband with 3 seperate men. I'm a bit taken aback because she is such a prim and proper woman, and you'd never suspect her of this unless she told you. Apparently one of the men is someone she carried on a relationship with from about 2 weeks before her wedding, until years after her divorce. I overheard her telling her girlfriends at dinner that he has a "HUUUUUUGE" cock... (I know, great dinner table convo, right?) The second guy was a much younger man who she met while travelling for business in a hotel. She admitted having a lurid 1 nighter with this guy after numerous cocktails, apparently he bent her over the balcony of her hotel room and fucked her brains out until she could hardly walk. The third man she met at her office, and began a lurid affair lasting months... She made reference to him being much better in bed than her husband, and really opening her eyes to what good sex could be.

    In light of this new information, I'm growing increasingly concerned that she will cheat on me -- is it only a matter of time? Her ex-husband never had a clue that any of this was going on, and to this day he believes he was married to the most dutiful little wife. Little does he know....
     
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  2. waynerobertson

    waynerobertson Well-Known Member

    The first thing is sit down and tell her what you know and what you heard. Communication is extremely important in ANY relationship. Then listen to what she says and take it from there.
     
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  3. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    there are no absolutes in life, once a cheater always a cheater, sounds good but may or not be true for your wife, timing, age, and you all matter. waynerobertson is correct, talk to her about it, and first decide how you feel if she still wants her "big cocked friends". in my case i was warned up and down that the woman i fell in love with and then married had a reputation, in my case it only made her hotter to me and the result years later is we are still married because i accept being her cuckold husband, would you accept the same?
     
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  4. emily

    emily Well-Known Member

    From my own life "once a cheater always a cheater" is true. Theres a good chance its true for your wife. But like stuck says, it depends on lots of things. Theres a thrill to cheating like nuthing else. Maybe she needs that. If so do you want to deny that to her? I mean, how would you feel about it if it happened? You got to figure that out first then talk to her about it like wayne says. If you dont want it I think you should tell her that. Then you got to be what she wants. You got to stay sweet and loving, be attentiv to her, always let her be sure that you love her and want her and would marry her again if you had it to do over.
     
  5. wifedateshubwaits

    wifedateshubwaits Active Member

    Like others who have posted, in my case it is certainly true. In fact, even after I agreed that she could see other men she continued to meet up with men without telling me. My wife tells me that she loves the "naughty" aspect of cheating and for her, it makes it more exciting. We now have an agreement that she can fuck whomever she wants, whenever she wants without telling me anything. We call it a don't ask, don't tell policy. Ironically, she now does tend to tell me about her affairs although some times it may be weeks, or even years after the fact. For me, I've actually gotten so I enjoy not knowing what she might be up to. It makes for an exciting marriage, that's for sure!
     
  6. sirkyle6

    sirkyle6 New Member

    Gulp... Well, we did have "the talk" this week about some of these things that have been coming out recently. She openly had admitted most of this stuff to me in the past, so it wasn't like it was anything earth shattering. When I asked her about how these guys could sleep with her, knowing she was married and all -- She replied, "oh honey, you're so sweet and innocent... I know you're not dirty enough to do things like that to a woman, but there are plenty of men out there who are!" I asked her if she had ever done a guy the same day as having sex with the husband or bf, and she replied, "Only a couple of times....", to which I responded "And your husband/boyfriend couldn't tell?" -- and she laughed kind of wickedly and said, "They NEVER can tell!" ... This made the hair stand up on the back of my neck a bit, to which I replied, "Wait, it hasn't happened to me, has it?" -- and she just giggled, and responded, "No honey, of course not..." ---- Hmmm, ok -- so not very forthcoming with the information, right?
     
  7. 1A_BAD_ROD

    1A_BAD_ROD New Member

    i think it's important to understand why they cheat. my wife was not one who could be easily satisfied for any length of time. being married 24/7 is alot different than seeing her lover for few hours on a regular basis. i believe i was not man enough. but there might be more to it than just that.
     
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  8. Zoro182

    Zoro182 New Member

    I would place the probability of it being already a done deal rather high. You just don't know it.
     
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  9. sirkyle6

    sirkyle6 New Member

    This has been my concern so far. There have been lots of little signs, but nothing glaring and no smoking gun... Example: She is a Jr. Executive, and one day we went out to a club after work, still dressed in her work clothes. As soon as she got under the black lights, there were all kinds of spots lighting up on her top. I had always heard that will only happen with bodily fluids? I immediately started thnking about what she might be doing at work, that she certainly doesn't do for me at home!

    Another time at a club, we ran into some of her friends from work (Male friends), and she ended up dissapearing for around an hour to dance. When she showed back up, her hair was an absolute mess and she had a really guilty look on her face... Apologized for leaving me for so long, etc... When I saw her male friend once she returned, he gave me the dirtiest look ever, right as we went to leave. The next day when we met her girlfriends for drinks, I overheard one of them as I was returning from the bathroom say something like, "You were all over Mr. X last night...." -- I seriously wonder if the guy didn't bang her in the bathroom, because she refused sex with me after we got home, and wouldn't even let me take her panties off... then went right to sleep and slept like a baby all night...

    Anybody have any ideas on how to catch someone who is very good at not getting caught, and has no intention of letting you find out what's really going on?
     
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  10. poormissy

    poormissy New Member

    I get the feeling that you are pretty sure that she has "cheated" on you and you like the suspicion game as it gives you a boner. I would embrace the reality and tell her you love her.
     
  11. emily

    emily Well-Known Member

    "Anybody have any ideas on how to catch someone who is very good at not getting caught, and has no intention of letting you find out what's really going on?"

    Do you really want to do that sirkyle? What will it change if you find out? Your mind is giving you what you want -- a cheating wife. Maybe your not 100% that you really want it but it sounds a lot like you really do. In your mind, you have it, and your mind is whats most important. Maybe your wife has what she wants too...not a open cuckold thing but to cheat on you. If that makes her happy why ruin it for her? You want to know and I understand that but if thats not whats best for your wife or marriage I think it best if you at leest think about leeving things the way they are.
     
  12. Sticky_Cuck77

    Sticky_Cuck77 Active Member

    Hi all,

    I'm sure that my wife is cheating on me behind my back even though I told her I didn't mind her taking lovers. While the uncertainty can be exciting and create a level of sexual anxiety that kind of fits the humiliation thing, I think I would rather know for sure. As it is the sexual humiliation I adore I want to know that my wife is getting it elsewhere because I am not good enough between the sheets. I think it is such a humiliation for the wife to casually turn to the cuck and say "by the way honey, I'm staying with [Mark] tonight so you will have to entertain yourself". Knowing that your wife see's you as being so incapable of pleasuring her that she sees absolutely nothing wrong with you knowing that she needs a lover is one of those painful but satisfying moments that I, as a proud cuckold really get off on.
     
  13. emily

    emily Well-Known Member

    Think about it...you told her your ok if she has other lovers but she still aint telling you bout her affair...2 resuns for that. 1 She aint having no affair and its just in your mind or 2 She dont just want more sex but she wants to cheat. If its 2...your need matters but hers matters too. You dont want to reck it for her do you?
     
  14. Purplemonaka

    Purplemonaka New Member

    Bout like Hot Stuff says. The prob for Sticky is that he feels no pain and wife knows it. He's too Open and Loving minded. How does a Loving person feel Humiliation? If she slaps the shit out of you, you turn the other cheek with a Thank You, that was good? It's more penetrating when a Husband feels it down to the bone in his ass. What's the point in telling a Husband about cheating if he desires it? For Hot Stuff, she knows it, thinks he wouldn't like it, all that matters because it's about the Wife. You can't feel something thru sheer will, but you can Role Play.
     
  15. emily

    emily Well-Known Member

    "You can't feel something thru sheer will, but you can Role Play."
    uh huh. Sirkyle and Stickycuck and all the other clueless sweethearts can feel what they want thru role play -- in the mind. And the wifes can feel what SHE wants thru a nice cock inside AND thru the fab thrill of cheating
     
  16. rocketman

    rocketman Guest

    sirkyle, your wife has already, or certainly will, cheat on you an not tell you about it. She is a type of woman who I have known many times -- a woman who is insatiable and highly sexual, who, when she finds a guy who turns her on, will not hesitate for one second to fuck the man whose cock she desires. She won't tell you either; that's part of the turn-on and fun for her. You might get her to open up about her flirtations and sexual exploits if you explain to her how much you would enjoy having her fuck other men. Even then it is ifffy whether she will truly open up to you.
     
  17. emily

    emily Well-Known Member

    "Even then it is ifffy whether she will truly open up to you. "
    And you will have a very very hot wife. Dont just thinking bout it thrill you?
     
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  18. vladdy

    vladdy Active Member

    I don't think that anyone is 'always' anything. But I do think once a girl gets to cheating on her man she tends to continue with the affairs for some time. That can be due to any number of reasons such as the guy not being a good enough lay, or not giving her enough attention or she had an opportunity she didn't want to pass up (ex. much bigger cock).

    But in the next relationship she might be less inclined to cheat if she had a lot of changes occur since the first relationship. Obviously if her previous husband had been a great partner to her they would have worked things out. But now if your with someone who admitted to cheating in the past you should trust them if they came clean. And importantly, if your into cuckolding than you can always inform your girl that if she wanted to cheat she could or that there could be talk of an open relationship or swapping.
     
  19. danboy120

    danboy120 New Member

    i saw my step-father on my fiancee late one night after a party at our place. me and tina went to bed together but when i woke up she wasnt there. i went looking for her and i saw them on our spare bed fucking. i havent said anything to her about it because i want to think it was just the one time and she only did it because she had drunk too much but i keep trying to find out if shes getting with him still but i dont know how to catch her.
     
  20. crazyinvt

    crazyinvt Active Member

    It's been my experience that once a cheater always a cheater is true. Both of my ex wives slept around on there first husbands, which I was aware of when I married them. I believed they would change and be faithful but I was wrong as they both spread there legs for several men before and after we married. Oddly enough, cheating was not the reason for the divorces.

    I was well aware of how easy my third wife was when we met, and after we became a couple, knew that she was still putting out for several other men. She made it clear from the beginning of our relationship that she had never been faithful to any one man and probably never would. She also informed me that she sometimes came to me having spending the last hour or so on her back with some other guy pumping between her legs. It didn't take me long to realize that if my ex-wives had been this honest, things may have turned out differently. But the past is the past and now is now. So I married her knowing she was a slut, but at least she was an honest slut.
     

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