I'm having trouble putting my exact feelings into words so I'll just tell the whole story and how I feel. So I have been trying to get my girl to be a hotwife for me for about 2 years now. The turn-on for me is just seeing her with a hung man. She's long distance and our plan was to find a guy and make a video for me. We finally figured it out this week and everything came together. They were together for a few hours just watching movies. I was impatient and had pretty bad anxiety wondering what was going on but she kept me informed every half hour. I asked her please don't leave me hanging update me up until you do things with him. She assured me that she would keep me updated and let me know before anything happened. Something went wrong around midnight and he decided he didn't want to video tape anymore he said it was a little weird. She told me this but I told her to try and persuade him. After this she disappeared until 3 a.m. I almost lost my mind. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't be messaging me I didn't know what was happening. She came back at 3 and told me that they had sex and that she did not video tape. I am a little torn on how to feel. On one hand I wanted this so bad for so long, and this was her first time so I can imagine that things were awkward, difficult, and that no one's perfect accidents happen. Part of me is so turned on and loves to hear the story. But part of me is also feeling really betrayed that she disappeared like that, and made her own decision to not video. She explained to me that when I told her to persuade him she thought I meant for her to do it even without the video tape. I trust her she has never lied to me before and she had no interest in this Beyond doing it for me. I just get a really bad feeling in my stomach when I think about things and how she made me feel. I realize I may be selfish feeling like this and that this lifestyle is all about giving her the freedom to have fun when it's time. But I still feel like this wasn't right. None of this was premeditated so I don't hold it against her I just need to get my feelings out there and I want to hear what others have to say.