Do you ever feel like a loser in your wife's life? Like she has a lot more fun when you're not around her? As if she behaves herself in your presence but then lets loose and relaxes when she's on her own? I do. She aggressively sought out fun, thrills, and excitement (parties, sex, activities, concerts, you name it) right up until we started dating. Then she decided she needed to settle down if she wanted to hold on to me. In the beginning, it wasn't always easy and she had to consciously pass up opportunities. How do I know this? She told me. She told me that when we started dating she knew it was time to settle. I think she's still that other person at heart. She's not resentful of me (I'm resentful of myself), but it's pretty clear that that other person can't stay buckled in all the time. Around me, she's a proper suburban wife with a career. But around her friends and others, she's a lot more like the woman she was before me.