I could never again be with a "non-cheater..."

Discussion in 'The Affair Zone - Cheating!' started by hankhavelock, Nov 23, 2017.

  1. hankhavelock

    hankhavelock Well-Known Member

    In my former and current cuckolding relationships my partners were and are “natural cheaters” – not in the sense that anything has been kept behind my back but it just happens to be who they are. That’s probably why it was immediately welcomed to engage in a cuckold relationship – in other words, I never had to “convince” a hesitating spouse into this life style – they wanted it immediately. Besides, I wouldn’t know how to – it would be topping from the bottom and playing chess with another person’s emotional habitus.

    I’m convinced that women who cheated consistently before are the ones for whom a cuckolding marriage seems most natural. Trying to ease a moralistic, monogamously minded lady into this life style is probably more often than not doomed to fail – not always if she has it in her – but mostly.

    To me being a cuckold truly is about her individual pleasure – more so than mine. I derive my “price” from her self-reliant pleasure that has little to with me, actually. Well, ofcourse it does, don’t get me wrong – we’re two in this emotional tango – but still.

    But I have no doubt in my mind, that women who easily cheat are much more comfortable with cuckolds. It sort of makes sense, anyway :)

    More to come...

    Please, let me know what you think about this statement? Am I way off or on to something? We all have different approaches here at this good forum :)
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2017
  2. masterdan

    masterdan Member

    This makes perfect sense, I think.
    Pathedick and hankhavelock like this.
  3. Bartleby

    Bartleby Well-Known Member

    I agree. Women should not be pressured into cheating and women who like having multiple partners are obviously perfect for a cuckold.

    The cuckold relationship should be all about her pleasure. The hubby just gets to wank over her adventures, whether he gets to watch or not.

    I believe that unless the couple agrees to swinging, only the woman should have affairs and the man should stay monogamous. Otherwise it would get too complicated to manage the lifestyle. It would also probably result in an emotional mess if both partners in the marriage have multiple sex partners.

    A woman should just not have to endure a lifetime of monogamy.

    My wife said that cheating on me and having an affair with a young man made her more sexually confident. But she also realised that she is not into casual sex and thus will have little use for her newfound confidence. Damn, she cheated so easily and told me that she had wanted to many times. I know from own experience that she is quick to spread her legs once she likes a man. Now that I know I like it, why doesn't she want to continue cheating?!? I hope she will change her mind. I don't want my wife to be monogamous.
    Need bull, Pathedick and hankhavelock like this.
  4. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    A woman in a married or other committed sexual relationship does not have to be a cheater to desire sex with another man, simultaneously so to speak. Women are naturally polygamous and--especially if young and childless--will instinctively and sometimes unconsciously be on the lookout for a genetically, physically and sexually highly desirable male to impregnate them. Such men, especially if they are super-confident and extrovert sexually, are often called Alpha males.

    Such men are natural and expert seducers of women, whether married or unmarried, and make sure they satisfy them more thoroughly than almost any other man (including their husbands and boyfriends) could hope to and the woman herself has ever wished for or dreamed about---not having ever experienced such sexual excitement and satisfaction in the arms of a man and therefore having nothing, apart from fiction, movies and their fantasies and their girlfriends' reports on the sexual capabilities of their husbands and lovers, to compare their own husband with.

    With the targeted woman usually already having made her sexual attraction to the Alpha male known to him, not only on the grounds of his personality and physique but also for his non-verbal and verbal signalling of heavenly sexual satisfaction for her in his arms, if and when he sooner or later gets to fuck her, after the act or acts the deeper fulfillment of her multi-facetted sexual nature, including her urge to reproduce, she nearly always biologically bonds more strongly to the Alpha male than she already may be bonded with her husband or boyfriend.

    However chauvinistic or "sexist" my view expressed above may sound, it is solidly supported by my experience as a cuckold and a bull and a sperm donor--as well as a sexologist consulting hundreds of sexually dissatisfied women and relationally dysfunctional couples.

    The answering of the two questions raised by Hank here---are women who cheated consistently before marriage the ones for whom a cuckolding marriage seems most natural, and are women who easily cheat much more comfortable with cuckolds---in my opinion requires the factoring-in of the instinct-driven often reproductive behaviour of the large number of women who naturally and completely excusably seek deeper romantic and sexual satisfaction with a man other than their bonded partner.

    My answer to Hank's questions involves a further question, which is this:

    "Does a woman always think of herself as consciously betraying her bonded partner when she has sex with another man?"

    If she truly doesn't think so, is she classifiable as a "cheater", or simply a woman who is being driven by her instinct and need for the deepest possible personal and biological fulfilment by a man who she believes can give it to her?---as I am absolutely sure was the case every time my girlfriends and first wife who initially secretly had multiple sexual encounters with men who (as I later discovered) were way more physically and personally desirable and potent with them than I was.

    My girlfriends and first wife all eventually admitted to me that on first meeting their lovers their attraction to them was so visceral and dizzying that it swamped them with desire to (as they put it) "mate" with them, which with them all being childless at the time I understood perfectly. Such was the force of the urge to mate with the man before them, that in the preliminaries to and during the sex that followed with him, they felt in no way bonded with me or that they were cheating on me. In fact they confessed that in the very act they had no consciousness or a single memory of me even existing. Naturally I felt massively betrayed and cheated-on when I learned that they had hugely enjoyed their reportedly more desirable and extremely potent lovers and that there had been multiple meetings with them, every one of them involving full-on and super-satisfying bareback sex.

    The fact that my girlfriends and wife were on oral contraceptives at those times and did not fall pregnant to their lovers in no way lessened the impact of their "cheating" on me. But my sense of being deliberately betrayed and deeply affronted passed off within a few hours in every instance. My intense jealousy was replaced by a firmly evidence-based conviction and wholeheartedly sympathetic attitude that in every instance my woman had acted not cunningly, deceitfully, vengefully or deliberately promiscuously, but entirely and uncontrollably instinctively on her very first meeting with her lover-to-be---a very handsome and spunky college star quarter-back---who she had never seen before and had not sought out, but had innocently and incidentally come face-to-face with in her university college setting: in a corridor in which they had very briefly crossed each others' paths on their ways to different classrooms---the mutual attraction being instant and so shocking to them both that they looked back and locked eyes only after they had passed each other. The rest, as they say, is history.

    Was my first wife more comfortable with me as her cuck because she had "cheated" on me---albeit instinctively and to that extent unconsciously--and I had understood why she had and had excused and forgiven her for it as I am enjoined to do? I believe the answer to that is Yes.

    In the event she quickly took herself off the Pill and fell pregnant to him---a definitely Alpha and very handsome and well-endowed young man---after fucking him exclusively over her next fertile time. In the event we very amicably agreed to divorce so that the desires of her heart and body and wonderfully womanly nature could be better fulfilled by her lover with me out of the way.

    Betrayal by a husband, according to one particular doctrine, can consist of only lusting in one's heart after a woman one's eyes alight upon, without an act of physical sex ensuing.

    Does that apply to a similarly lusting wife too? Or is she excused because of her being---according to Paul---"the weaker vessel". Certainly we are to factor that in and to love our wives and forgive them and be not bitter against them, especially when they err sexually, deliberately or instinctively and unconsciously---as has been my guiding maxim to this very day.

    Just my 2 cents worth Hank.
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2017
  5. Allintogether

    Allintogether New Member

    Every women I have been with including my wife has cheated, I accept it now and I know I fulfill most of my wife's needs, but if she desires another man, then she has no problem fucking him.
    Pathedick likes this.
  6. crazyinvt

    crazyinvt Active Member

    Both my 1st and 2nd wives cheated but refused to admit it and I refused to admit that I found it hot. This was in the early 70's and I had never heard the term cuckold or hotwife. I didn't have a clue that other men felt the same way as I did. And with little to no communication between us, both relationships were doomed. My 3rd wife however was a different story entirely. From the day we met, she openly admitted to being an easy piece of ass and practically bragged about how her dates always ended up with her getting fucked in the backseat. Throughout our per-marriage relationship, she often said that she could never be faithful to one man. So I did the logical thing and married her.
    Allintogether likes this.
  7. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    Same with my wife. Although I wasn't looking to be a cuckold, I was confident enough in myself to decide even if it wasn't logical, she was Worth It if that's what it took to have her marry me. Two other guys missed out previously because despite being willing to accept her past of side lovers, they expected a monogamous marriage. Not only did Audrey turn down the marriage proposals, she stopped seeing them at all. No more pussy for you!
  8. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    Like "crazyinvt" above, my wife could never be monogamous and is honest about it. If you know about her activities and go along then it's not cheating. Some women are nonmonogamous, some are deceptive, and some, like mine, encourage my occasionally having other partners as well. There are all types and men who like all types.

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