How to Handle An Increasingly Confident Wife

Discussion in 'Real Life Experiences' started by canadianwittol, Nov 7, 2018.

  1. canadianwittol

    canadianwittol Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Nov. 4th marked my ninth anniversary as a cuckold. November 4th, 2009 was the first time my wife was unfaithful to me and with 13 different men over the last 9 years she has been consistently unfaithful ever since, all with my total acquiescence.

    I was reflecting this past weekend on how this has changed her though. I don't mean this in a bad way, just acknowledging how different her perspective on it has become.

    At first, we had mutually agreed that what happens in our bedroom isn't anything that anyone else needs to know about. When I first asked my wife if she had anyone in mind as a lover, 9 years ago, she said yes...there was a co-worker who routinely hit on her and she happened to find him attractive as well. Better still, (although not demonstrating much concern for HIS wife) he was married and thus assumed to have the incentive to be reasonably discreet himself. Likewise, rather than approach him and explain to him that we were into cuckolding, we both mutually agreed that it would be easiest for everyone if he was left with the impression that Alice was simply cheating on me; a fact that was a source of great delight to him given that Alice and I had been married for less than two months at that time.

    Our initial assumption about his own desire for discretion turned out to be true. That affair lasted for five years. And for five years this was the ONLY man who cuckolded me. It was so convenient that there really wasn't much need to look elsewhere. He was (relatively) discreet although their coworkers were quick to realize what was going on and their affair was well known there. That made office Christmas parties difficult for me, but that's another story.

    When that affair ended, my wife began the process of finding another lover. She didn't hurry into that; she took her time but also seized advantage of a few opportunities that came her way. She slept with a couple of clients, with a personal trainer, and a few others. Again, every lover she took was under the impression that I was oblivious to my wife's infidelity.

    This created problems too -- believe it or not, many men aren't comfortable being the other man in an affair. Or they would be initially (i.e. until they succeeded in having sex with my wife) but wouldn't wish to make it ongoing, whether for fear of retribution on my part, or moral tendencies, or whatever.

    Finally, two years ago, my wife decided that she needed to find a more efficient way of finding men who are into being, essentially what we here call "bulls". She decided to open an Ashley Madison account - and while she was not open about cuckolding on her profile, she at least cut right to the source of dealing with men who knew full well that she was married.

    That's how we met one of her current bulls and the one who has easily been her favourite. Well...as luck would have it he had actually been involved with two previous cuckolding couples. So when we agreed that Alice could make confession to him about the truth of our relationship (a first for us) it all came out.

    I won't carry on too much farther here about details of how this relationship has played out; but for a first time my true status was made known to one of her lovers.

    In the Spring of 2017 we completed a recreational property in a remote area which gave us the unique opportunity to name the road it was on (as our property was the only one on the road). It was our bull who suggested we name it as an homage to our lifestyle...it is so far out of town that this would almost certainly never cause our lifestyle to ever be revealed ; more of an opportunity to enjoy our own inside joke than anything. I very reluctantly agreed to this but the real shock to me in all of that discussion was how enthusiastic my wife was about it. I believe in reflection that this was to to thrill her bull, who has made no secret of the enjoyment he derives out of humiliating me. And so we do indeed own a small property on "Cuckold Lane". Every time we drive up there now I feel a small knot in my stomach as I slow to turning speed and make a left on a street we have named after me. (Interestingly, my wife disputes that - she says the name isn't the noun that refers to me, it's the verb that refers to her "making" a cuckold of me.)

    In the past year, as a result of a slip of the tongue, another friend of Alice's became aware of our relationship as well. And then this past Spring, she decided of her own accord to tell yet another friend.

    I have expressed some concern at that but she assures me very strongly that a) they are all supportive of our relationship, b) people think it's cool and interesting and c) they all understand the need to keep this quiet. I do trust her opinion on this, but it's made me realize:

    For five years, my wife carried on an affair with one man. During that whole five years, she had one lover and one friend who knew about the arrangement.

    In four years since, my wife has slept with an additional 12 men, told additional friends about it, and with the naming of our "street" I realize she feels much more open and confident about it. And from her perspective why not, the other women she talks to think that its cool and kinky she exercises such control in our relationship. However I can't help but feel a little foolish when I'm in the company of people who know all about this.

    My wife says it's simply not an issue. But to be honest in moments of deeper introspection I realize that even if I've been a cuck almost a decade, it's only in the past four years that so many more people have become aware of our situation, and that's started to make me nervous.

    Just as you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, people can't "unlearn" that I'm a cuckold.

    I'm happy that my wife is more and more confident. She has even said she's sorry she wasted the first 5 years of the freedom of a cuck marriage on just one lover. I think as she gets up in age toward 40 and with her increased confidence in our relationship that she has every intention of seeing multiple lovers from now on as well as occasionally embracing one night stand opportunities.

    I'm just let wondering how this changes things for me. Or does it?

    Any thoughts?
     
    indian_couples likes this.
  2. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    I don't want to quibble, but if your wife is acting with your acquiesence, she is not being unfaithful.
    When my wife Audrey and I first met, we discussed our lives and sex lives, including her bisexuality and nonmonogamy. I was OK with it except her fucking married men, which she preferred for the reasons you mention - they are discreet, grateful, know the limits of the relationship, etc. It was, however, the one thing that I objected to for several reasons - it is unfair to the wife, could be dangerous (women get guns too), or require testimony in divorce proceedings. Audrey agreed to cut it off with married men whose wives didn't know and agree. Fortunately, Audrey was involved with both spouses of two (now three) married couples, which she much prefers both on the physical MFF level and psychologically. Unlike you, however, everybody knows that I know and support Audrey's choices in her sex life.
    I have already decided that if anyone figures out that my wife is having sex with someone else, I will just smile and say that I know.
    My wife as well; she does not have any kind of sexual activity with a guy until more than a month has passed and they have gone on five to ten serious dates. (She and I kissed and had our hands on each other after six dates, fucked after eight.) Audrey will get with another woman more quickly, however.
    Was it just the married guys or the single ones as well? Was this deception a turn on for any of the guys she fucked? For your wife? For you? Did you ever seek to meet them? That was something that both Audrey and I insisted on as we became serious and got married, that not only did her lovers know that I knew, but I met them as well. It worked out well.
    Audrey has found her lovers the old fashion way, just people she meets and evaluates before having any sexual interest. She is choosy (nothing wrong, however, with women who like to go with impulse) and holds on to lovers for a long time, so there is a diminishing need to find new ones as time goes on. It doesn't hurt that she likes being the third for a couple; although couples who are into an MFF are looking for a single woman, married couples who are looking for a female third are happy to get involved with Audrey even though she is married. We require that I meet them and try MFM with the husband, but don't demand a swap.
    Did you find it liberating having the truth out? Did you take it further, as we did, by participating in MFMs? For us it led to me MFMing with all of them and fucking two of the three wives.
    As I've posted previously numerous times, there is no humiliation in what we do. Audrey enjoys herself, I married into her nonmonogamy willingly, and her lovers, both male and female respect, and especially the guys, are envious that Audrey is my wife. If they thought it was humiliating, why would they occasionally let me fuck their wives?
    I myself had some trepidation when first meeting my wife's lovers. It started to dissipate when I found that they admired me and my kinky wife. It totally went away when we started doing MFMs (and later MFMF swaps); they thought that I am a lucky guy. Besides, people today feel much freer not only because of themselves but also because there are so many people who are "out" about their sexuality, especially the homosexuals. Guys are now proud to date porn stars and marry sluts. People are more willing to be honest about their sexuality and accepting of others. It will become more so.
    Audrey is in her early thirties and I wonder what will happen. Even in the short time that we have been together things have changed somewhat - no married men except couples who are both into it, some couples swaps, alone play for me sometimes (when Audrey is on business travel), a single girlfriend of hers who now plays the third in our marriage to the delight of all three of us. Change is always happening; enjoy the journey.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018
    indian_couples likes this.
  3. gatorrdw

    gatorrdw Well-Known Member

    My wife was very young when we married, she had finished school but didn't turn 18 until after we married. I am 4 years older than her and one of the things that I enjoyed as she started sharing her young, married, white pussy was how she was becoming more and more confident in herself personally and as a sexual young woman. I truly enjoyed what she was becoming and it truly enriched our lives. Believe me when I say it's the best thing that can happen to her. GTR
     
    Worth It likes this.
  4. desimilf80

    desimilf80 Member

    It has been under 2 years since my wife started sleeping with other men, and at the start one of her watertight conditions was that it has be absolutely discreet, initially she was very shy and somewhat awkward, since then she has become a lot more confident, and started to choose her dates on her own, so far the rules are married men only, and we have not had an accidental mention anywhere. The only time we talk about is in the bedroom and on the beach. We have taken a new mobile number for contact with her dates and she never gives out her regular number, this also ensures that there is no accidental email or sms etc that is seen by someone else.
     
    Evolution and tiruh811 like this.

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