How much is too much?

Discussion in 'Methods, Techniques and Advice' started by Naughtalie, May 18, 2017.

  1. Naughtalie

    Naughtalie Member

    I first cuckolded my husband on vacation. We've been home for almost a month and I've fucked five other guys already. I met one guy at the gym, but the others have been guys I've met while out at clubs/bars. I brought two of them home so my husband could watch if he wanted. He did not.

    He doesn't seem hurt by any of this but did ask if I'm going to hookup every time I go out. I said I don't know and asked if it bothered him. He said he's glad I'm happy but is just surprised at how many guys I've been with already. My intention is not to hurt him in any way or alter the way he sees me. I'm just having a really good time. Am I moving really fast? Too fast? Should I wait for him to ask me to slow down or is that too late?
     
  2. open2it

    open2it Well-Known Member

    That's really a question you need to honestly ask your husband. He may secretly love that you're enjoying your freedom so much OR it may really be bothering him. Only he knows the answer to that question. Cuckolding can be incredibly exciting when it's approached as a team sport.

    Do you pillow talk about your experiences afterwards?
     
  3. legshowcuck

    legshowcuck Well-Known Member

    this is a question you both should answer...
     
  4. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    Naughtalie, I am so happy for you that you have been so successful and enjoying your pursuit of dick. The freedom and pleasure is entoxicating. I am not an expert on this topic, and I don't take advantage of all my opportunities. maybe I should.

    I prefer to play a long game in which I keep my husband on board with our kink. If he is wanting it as much or more as I am, I pursue other men. When he is uncomfortable....hints at discomfort...or my instincts lead me to believe he has concern...I pause. Dick is plentiful and of low value, cuck husbands are not.

    We often tell the future cuck husbands to proceed slowly. Your husband moved very quickly to accept and support you. That is awesome. If I were you I would make sure he is comfortable before pursuing more. Deanna
     
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  5. UCUM666

    UCUM666 Well-Known Member

    I was always curious how you guys are able to maintain balance and perspective. I think this answers that quite well. I've also wondered, in general, if hotwive's respect for their cuck hubbies could/would erode over time (while they're having sex with superior men, and making fun of or shaming their husbands). I have never gotten that impression with you two. Bye the way, what beautiful, big eyes you have Deanna (no I'm not the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood); we always knew you had a fantastic body. Nice to see your lovely eyes too (at least this is first I've seen them).
     
  6. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    I can vouch for Deanna and her approach. She could have sex with 4X the number of guys that she does and still not be close to my line of discomfort. Said a different way, she could double the number of encounters and it would not register on my discomfort meter.

    As for your question, I think that you are doing great. I encourage you to remind him from time to time that you and he rely upon direct, open, and honest communication. Encourage and welcome his input while reminding him that he is the only important man in your life and that you want him to be comfortable. Said a different way, us guys have egos and insecurities.

    All that said, it seems as though you have and are addressing the topic already. You ASKED if it bothered him, he said he's GLAD that you are happy. Him saying that he's surprised doesn't mean that he's uncomfortable.

    As long as you keep communicating, I think that you will succeed and that you will not fail.
     
  7. UCUM666

    UCUM666 Well-Known Member

    True dat!! :)
     
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  8. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    I can't remember a time when I strongly objected to L from having a certain guy, but there have been times when I've been surprised by her decision. In one or two cases I was very concerned about the negative potential, but L was hot for him and went ahead.

    One such case was with a rep from a regulating agency who visited a hospital where she worked. Aside from the conflict of interest in the mist of an audit, his behavior was a bit crude, but L was in search of a second Dom and thought he might fit the bill. They attended the same convention later and she slept with him every night. He became abusive and was a serious alcoholic. He didn't take her final rejection well. Fortunately we relocated soon after that.

    Another example was a young navy JAG who was a good guy, but L lost control and became infatuated. She was stopping by his place every day after work for sex and I had the feeling she wasn't being honest with me about her feelings toward him. We talked about it, a lot, and in spite of my concerns that she was spending too much time with him (and was starting to risk outing us to our friends), she just couldn't help herself. She agreed that she was probably out of control, but kept going back every day. It was an addiction I didn't know how to cure. He was a marathon runner with a great body and lots of stamina, a man in uniform and a lawyer - her fantasy guy. He also had a huge cock, the biggest L has seen to date. It almost ended our marriage. The guy finally got engaged and more or less told L he wanted to stop seeing her. She was devastated, I was wounded, but somehow we recovered, and we both learned a valuable lesson. Mine was that I should have objected earlier and with more conviction.

    Looking back into the past, there were times early on when I was reluctant to object to a certain guy too much. My fear was that any objection would dissuade L from continuing. What if she took my concern as a sign I couldn't handle her being with other men? Her confidence was more precarious back then, in herself, and whether I was really OK with her fucking other men. I've always wanted L to be her own woman, to pursue sex with others as she wished, to really, really enjoy her new freedom. At first it was a delicate balance for me, encouraging her and giving her space to explore on one hand, vs. voicing caution too strongly at times on the other. Sometimes keeping the new angst in check is by itself challenging for new hotwife husbands. If we show too much, will it be taken the wrong way? Will she worry (wrongly) we've discovered making our fantasy real is more than we can bear?

    Angst. Wives just don't get it. They probably never will. Many of us husbands who have done this for years still feel it to some extent. It's a mix of nervousness and excitement, fear of losing her and certainty we won't. It's a sliver of possessiveness mixed with pride that she is a sexual creature by nature and that she's comfortable with that. The combination is like a lighting match to gasoline for us. Hot, explosive, and maybe a little dangerous. It touches us in new places at first, reaches down and twists our gut, and makes us crazy hard. Yes, in time the balance swings away from nervousness and fear, but it's always there, lingering in some dark corner, holding the match. As difficult as it must be for wives to understand, we love it, with all its rough edges. It rises up when we see you flirt with a man. My wife, with this new man she might want to fuck. It seizes us and make us crazy with lust as we wait while you fuck him. It boils over when we hear you tell us how amazing your orgasm was with him, or better yet, when we see it in person. But the edginess is always there, the pinprick that delivers the drug. It's what we are. How we're wired. You won't understand it. But now you know it exists.

    How much is too much? Good advice from others here. Talk to each other. With cool heads, out of the bedroom. Know that even the most experienced husbands need love and reassurance that you're a team, that both of your opinions and concerns count. But remember that at first it's difficult to be completely forthcoming about fears and concerns. If he seems to be reluctant, ask him. Ask him anything and everything that's on your mind. Ask him, "How much is too much?" Then ask again. He'll be glad you did.

    Don
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2017
  9. Naughtalie

    Naughtalie Member

    Thank you all for such sound advice. You all seem so well versed in the lifestyle whereas I'm brand new. I made some communication mistakes with my husband. I assumed he knew my excitement level and he assumed it would be a once in awhile thing. Mainly he worries about my safety by picking up men when he isn't with me. I told him I'll dial it back. I'm going to try and have two or three regular guys and only pick up new ones when my husband is around. It may not always happen like that but at least now we have established guidelines.
     
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  10. vladdy

    vladdy Active Member

    I think it's great you dove in head first on this.

    I think you read your husband well, if he's saying 'He's surprised' by something, that isn't him saying no per se..... but I think he is indicating your pushing in the direction of a boundary. If he was comfortable with you seeing these guys, I think he would have said you crossed a line.

    A lot of cucks want the wife to see a few guys periodically, enough to build a little connection. The benefit is also lowering risks of something happening and STIs. If you can get to know a guy you can do some diligence on him. Maybe go get tested with him. STIs are something I worry about, but I realize not everyone has the same level of concern I have, so just another perspective for you.

    Anyway, I hope to hear more about your success in this lifestyle. There are not many wives here sharing their results.
     
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  11. SJ1982

    SJ1982 Member

    If he's anything like me, trust me he'll be happy wanking away thinking of the things you've done or doing.
     
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  12. MidAtlanticFun

    MidAtlanticFun Well-Known Member

    Quite honestly, there's little I can add after Don_Jetman's fantastic post. That hit a gamut of excellent points. When my wife, Michelle, started playing around, I figured it’d be another man once every few weeks. If she got one or two regulars I thought that’d be the ultimate fantasy. We left that behind years ago. Though it all it was communication, communication, communication.

    I’ve convinced that a healthy marriage can’t endure hotwifing/cuckoldling without the utmost honesty and trust.

    Good luck enjoying the adventure with your husband!
     
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  13. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    For us, neither Audrey nor I think of the other guys as "superior," so there is no shaming involved. They think that I'm the lucky one to have Audrey as my wife.
     
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  14. gatorrdw

    gatorrdw Well-Known Member

    Great posts by don_jetman and MidAtlanticFun, I know for us the BIG thing was communicating, it just had to be that way, we had established some boundries and my wife preferred that I be at least close by or knew where she was and who she was with (almost always). Follow what they have posted and you and your husband will enjoy this lifestyle. GTR
     
  15. verkitwme

    verkitwme Well-Known Member

    I guess we're the lucky ones, I"m totally happy with my lover and so is my husband. No jealousy at all, we're all comfortable around each other. I have NOT lost ANY respect for my hubby if anything I have more knowing he's cool with me having a lover who takes me sexually that hubby can't possibly do due their different cock sizes. I've become quite a size queen (or should I say my pussy has)
     
  16. gatorrdw

    gatorrdw Well-Known Member

    verkitwme, for us, I enjoyed the fact that my wife had become very comfortable with who she was and on numerous occasions told me that she was so fortunate to have married a man that enjoyed her for who she is and I always knew that in her eyes there could be no other than me to be her husband. With you and your husband and some others on this site it is a wonderful thing when the "right" people for each other get married to one another. GTR
     
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  17. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    Amen!
     
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  18. verkitwme

    verkitwme Well-Known Member

    I met my lover for lunch the other day, he filled me up ;)
    tn.jpg
     
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  19. verkitwme

    verkitwme Well-Known Member

    I could fuck him everyday if only my schedule would permit !!
     
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  20. UCUM666

    UCUM666 Well-Known Member

    That is one fantastic close up pic. Didn't ruin the mood at all taking it? Thanks for sharing! JS
     

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