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Help/Advice please, I think girlfriend wants to cuck me.

Discussion in 'Hotwifing, Swinging and Swapping' started by pemex, Oct 7, 2016.

  1. pemex

    pemex New Member

    Hi, I'm new here so I'd like to give a little bit of background.

    I'm new to this whole cuckolding scene, and didn't even know it exists, until recently. I am 21 and my girlfriend is 20, we've been together since 4 years. Recently, I got hold of her laptop, she usually locks it, but she forgot to. What I found there, was the reason I'm here asking for advice. Her bookmarks, and browser history is full of tumblr websites about cuckolding, especially interracial, but not only. She has conversations with some others that she fantasizes a lot about sex with others and really wants to do it. She also saved a lot of images and gifs.

    I just don't have a clue, how should I bring this topic up with her? And I am not that keen on becoming a cuckold, it seems pretty frightening to me, the entire concept. The jealousy scares me, and the idea of a clean up duty horrifies me (which is something she seems to be really in to in her fantasies). But at the same time, I understand that not having sexual desires fulfilled can ruin a relationship, as frustration builds up, so I am considering giving it a go.
    ffred likes this.
  2. rfresco

    rfresco Active Member

    We are of the opinion that if she wants it to happen, it WILL happen - either with or without your consent. Consider, you aren't with her 24/7, so if someone interests her, she'll pursue it to the logical conclusion.

    On the other hand, you kind of broke her trust by looking at her computer. Broaching the topic will probably upset her, causing a lot of regret on your part. So you're going to have to tread lightly.

    On another hand (how many hands do you have?) you have to ask yourself if you're okay with it and to what degree you're willing to go along with her interests. Do you just want to keep in monogamous - just the two of you; do you want to allow her to date, then come home and tell you about it; or do you want to participate? The only person who can answer that question is you.

    Consider these points and come to a conclusion (we think you already have). If it's to allow her to have her fun, then we suggest you broach it easily; say when you are in bed together, hit her with the "What is your wildest fantasy?" question. Keep quiet and let her go. Don't interrupt, don't judge, just listen. If she tells you she is interested in a cuckold type relationship, then you have carte blanch to explore that with her, draw up rules and proceed accordingly.

    We think that's the best approach - don't tell her about the computer, just play along as if this is all news to you. The key here is to open a line of communication and be prepared to support her decisions - that is, if you want to maintain the relationship.

    You asked for advice, there it is. Best of luck and please, keep us advised!


    Rob and Terry
    ffred and Lambo56 like this.
  3. pemex

    pemex New Member

    Thank you for the advice. I'm going to bring it up to her cautiously, as you suggested. I don't want to lose the relationship. If I understand right, she still loves me in a way, but her body has some extra requirements that she doesn't expect me to fulfill. I will be sure to keep you updated!
  4. DeannaHouston

    DeannaHouston Well-Known Member

    Hi Pemex,
    I think Rob and Terry gave great advice. I will just add or repeat a couple of things. The unknown is way scarier than the known....you have imagined,,,but that is so different than real life.

    Remember how you feel when you please your girlfriend sexually, cuckolding can be an extension of you giving her pleasure. When I have great sex with others, I give Jeff the credit. He is part of me and his acceptance of my sexual desires increases my fulfillment in our relationship.

    I don't think she will force you. I don't think you are at risk for it happening until she starts bringing it up to you.

    If you don't want it, don't bring it closer by bringing it up. I would also not mention that you have invaded her private space. That invasion and the risk of her feeling embarrassed by what you saw, can be difficult on a relationship.

    If you also share the desire you can say that you have been fantasizing about cuckolding but are scared and worried she will not accept you.

    If you decide to share what you saw and your concerns about it, you need to be mature enough to do it without judgments. You sending the message that you saw something private, you find it yucky or scary, would not be the partner you want her to have.
    The partner you want for her loves and accepts, finds her naughty thoughts beautiful and exciting. Deanna
    pemex and JeffHouston like this.
  5. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    I agree. When you are ready to accept and embrace everything about her and when you are ready to fell pleasure because she feels pleasure, then you are ready to bring it up and embrace the cuckold lifestyle. Sexually liberated women are amazing partners for supportive, loyal and strong men. Said a different way, don't start a conversation so that you can reject her or impose your fears on her.
    DeannaHouston and pemex like this.
  6. pemex

    pemex New Member

    Thank you guys for the further advice.

    This is also what I think, therefore I want to try it for her regardless of the scary feelings. I just don't want her to walk out from my life with one of those guys. If I could be sure that it isn't likely to happen, then I would feel relatively confident that I'll be able to give cuckolding a go. I am not repulsed or disgusted by her fantasies at all, I'm just scared of losing her, and of becoming worthless to her, that's really all.

    I didn't have rejecting her on my mind, I'm just terrified of the unknown, so to say.
    JeffHouston likes this.
  7. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    Being uncomfortable and afraid of the unknown makes total sense to me. It's scary to embrace something new. Society tends to teach us a form of possessive love wherein we are each asked to be everything to our partner. You have a chance to do something better. You have a chance to accept her and love her for who she is and for all of her choices, feelings and curiosities - even though society sends conflicting messages.

    Advice - at every step, be an open book, share your feelings and fears, channel your emotions into loving her and celebrating her. If you try cuckolding, it will almost certainly feel scary. When you are feeling scare of threatened, tell yourself that right now you are going to think about her feelings, her safety and her experience and that tomorrow you can think about yours. Each time you experience her coming back to you and each time that she enjoys her sexuality, you will feel more treasured, more loved and more safe. Take small steps and stay in sync with each other.
    DeannaHouston likes this.
  8. christinebitg

    christinebitg Well-Known Member

    I think you've gotten some good advice here already.

    What I would like to add now is to first, before you do anything else, look inside yourself and decide how you feel about it. If you're not turned on by it, going ahead with anything else is likely to be a mistake.

    Good luck, and keep us posted.


  9. pemex

    pemex New Member

    UPDATE: Sorry that I haven't posted anything since a while, but I've decided to think through and take things slowly in the meantime. I've finally managed to bring up the topic to her, and it turned out really well. One night, we were casually talking, and the topic of discussion turned more and more sexual, so it was the perfect time to "open the jar". I didn't tell her that I looked through her things.

    I told her that I found an interesting kink on the internet, namely, cuckolding, and told her that it kinda turns me on (and it really does, it's really a very erotic kink, there's no doubts on that). She started to ask me questions like what do I think about it? Why does it turn me on? I think at the beginning she thought that the idea of being a bull is what got me to tell her about it.

    So I told her that I liked the viewpoint of the cuck, it's just sexy to watch the events unfold and that I kinda imagined her in that situation. I could pretty much see sparkles in her eyes, she really liked what she heard. She then admitted her "secret" to me. She explained that she found this kink a long time ago and has much interest about it, but never dared to tell me, because she was afraid of how I would react to it. I then asked her how did she find out about it, and what exactly does she like about it. She then proceeded to show me some of the stuff on her computer (that I'd secretly already seen of course) and we basically pretty much ended up watching cockolding porn together lol.

    At that point, I gathered my courage and told her that we should try it. She was like "Are you sure?" And well, I told her yes, I told her that if this is what she's been thinking and dreaming about since years then we need to make it happen. She was so happy to hear this. She said that if I really want it so, she won't be against it. So, guys, I think I'm on the right track now? Do you guys think we will make it happen?
  10. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    I see from your profile that you are only 21. That is very young to go throwing yourself and your wife into the Deep End. The trauma of seeing your wife being romanced and fucked by another man will be huge and very hard for you to get through. Do you think you're up to handling the negative fall-out from it? At tender 21? I have my doubts.
    slowpoking likes this.
  11. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    First of all, great job.

    I think that you are on the right track. I expect that she will feel most comfortable if you keep it clear between the two of you that you guys are doing this because YOU want to and only so long as she is comfortable and interested. I encourage you to try and walk the fine line of clearly and consistently wanting it and not pushing her. Most likely, she will feel torn and it may sometimes feel like start and stop. All of this is normal. Remember that you are on her side and only want what is comfortable and exciting for her.

    I think that it will look and feel different to see another man with your girlfriend. Anything that you do for the first time or see for the first time is going to feel weird. Before, during and after, keep the lines of communication open and strong. Offer to her that you will speak up if you feel uncomfortable and would like the same from her. If/when either one of you are uncomfortable, just resolve that 'tonight is not the night' to try this. Don't make a pause or hesitation into a big deal. It's normal for you to feel jealousy and to feel excited. Remember and trust that she will come back to you and don't lash out at her.

    Also, you guys can try it with you watching, with you participating, with you in another part of the house, or with you no where around. All of these scenarios are normal and all of them will appear from time to time. Encourage her that you want her to pursue whatever feels comfortable to her whenever she feels like it. Don't make a bunch of rules - just a few like complete honesty and safe sex. Don't require that you approve of the guy or that you give permission before she does something. Just trust her and trust your relationship with her.

    Your job is to give her unconditional love and acceptance. You are supporting her sexual power and empowerment.

    As for your age, I had my third 'shared' girlfriend before I left high school. I am now married with a son who is a college student. My wife and I started this lifestyle when we met and she never stopped dating or fucking other guys. After high school and before marriage, I dated many cuckoldresses (most of whom we did not use the label). I dated a few who were not and found that lacking. So, I think that you are doing great and will continue to do great.

    DeannaHouston and pemex like this.
  12. pemex

    pemex New Member

    UPDATE (going to be short here): She managed to arrange something, she talked to a friend of mine, who's going to keep it discreet and doesn't mind this kind of experimentation at all. In his words, he doesn't care, he gets pussy without the bs, and doesn't care if I will be there to watch or not. It's probably going to happen this weekend.
  13. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    Very cool. Have fun
    pemex likes this.
  14. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    Slow, eh? Sounds as slow as jumping off a cliff.

    I was going to second Christine's advice to make sure you know what you want, but at this point I'll just say good luck. I do mean it.
  15. slowpoking

    slowpoking Well-Known Member

    Ok, sorry to double post. I posted the previous message before reading all the way through. You're getting a lot of positive reinforcement from Deanna and Jeff, and I like them a lot, but I feel compelled to chime in with Christine and Michael with a word of caution. Of course many people here will like he idea of your girlfriend cuckolding you. Look at the kind of site you're on. And it does sound like you find the idea appealing, or at least you think you might.

    But you better be sure. Cuckolding may fit a lot of us here, but it isn't for everyone. For those not wired for it, the things you're considering can be devastating. Even those who have come to enjoy this lifestyle will tell you it's a heavy thing to see your mate open herself to someone else. As Michael said, it's harder when you're young.

    Yes, communication is important and can help you navigate if/when you take the plunge, but there is a limit to much communication can do to make things right. Even if you maintain your calm and don't blame her, telling her you've changed your mind after she fucks someone can be messy and ugly -- especially if she really likes it. And it sounds as if your wife expects to like it. So make extra sure this is what you want. Or at the very least be clear beforehand about reserving the right to say not again if you end up not liking it.

    Again, good luck.
  16. pemex

    pemex New Member

    Well, it's happening soon and I am really very scared, but I think I need to experience this. I can't say that I don't like it if I haven't even tried it. The positive reinforcement from here matters a lot, it's really helping me through this situation. I think that society enforces monogamy strongly, but the reasoning behind it may very well be flawed. So from all considerations, cuckolding shouldn't be something to be terrified of, yet I am feeling pretty scared.
  17. rocketman

    rocketman Guest

    You might consider asking your girlfriend to hold your hand while she is being fucked. As a bull, I've had couples doing this many time while my cock was making the woman moan. It seems to help keep the couple connected. The best part will be when you feel her clenched hand squeezing yours tightly when she cums.
    subbyhubby2016 likes this.
  18. JeffHouston

    JeffHouston Well-Known Member

    I think that you are brave and strong. I think that most men are not secure enough in themselves or their relatioship to do what you are planning to do. It's normal to feel scared. It's normal to pause and not do it the first time that it's scheduled. Focus on her. Focus on how you are accepting and embracing her in ways that society has told her no one would. Embrace and celebrate her magnificent and powerful sexuality. Be her friend and her trusted partner. And, of course... let us know how it goes.
  19. michael1987

    michael1987 Well-Known Member

    It is perfectly normal to feel scared at the prospect of another man fucking your wife or steady girl-friend. In my case I was taken totally by surprise. With only a minute or two between my best buddy coming onto my girl-friend and her eagerly taking the full length of his instantly erected cock into her, there was no time at all for me to mount any sort of preventive response or even to feel apprehensive. The shock of seeing the awesomely erected bare cock of another man penetrating my girlfriend's suddenly well-lubricated vagina for the very first time, and especially her loving it to the hilt, was devastating. Nothing could have prepared me for it or for my terrible angst and open-mouthed agony that followed as my buddy freely and exquisitely effectively fucked her to several convulsive orgasms over the half-hour he took to ejaculate in her. My buddy and I and my girlfriend were all of the psychosexually and emotionally very sensitive type, and crucially only 18 years old at the time---in retrospect all three of us far too young to brush-off or escape the short and longer term negative impact and emotional consequences of my best buddy "jumping" my girlfriend and fucking her nakedly to Sex Heaven before my very eyes. The inquirer in this present instance is 21, admittedly three years older than I was when thrown into the deep end. But from my repeatedly agonising responses (albeit naturally mixed with erotically ecstatic ones) to seeing my girlfriend being so lovingly and increasingly expertly and frequently fucked by my buddy over those three years following their fateful first and for me very traumatic occasion, I advise great caution for prospective first-timers of such tender years and emotional disposition, especially in the present instance fraught as it already is with anticipatory anxiety, at least on my reading of it.
  20. pemex

    pemex New Member

    We finally went through with it. I have to say, all the bad things I assumed about it, weren't true, and everything went much better than I expected. It's been a rather great experience, even though at times jealousy was really getting to me. It was probably also helpful that it wasn't a stranger that fucked her, but a good friend of mine that I know since a long time.

    My gf really knew how to get me horny and I think that really helped me through the experience, while aroused, everyone is more accepting of "dirtier" things, and I'm no different in that. She called the guy, and arranged a time when he should come. Until then, I helped her to prepare for it, to choose which underwear she'll present herself in. It was of course arousing seeing her getting ready for sex, and while we were waiting we played around a bit. We've both got a kink for feet, so I was worshiping, kissing licking her feet while waiting. She said that I can continue that while she's having sex, because I should take a part in the actions too. I was basically already pretty aroused by the time he arrived. I stopped cherishing her feet as he arrived.

    When he arrived they didn't wait much and got into action pretty fast. She opened the door and greeted him in undies, and he didn't take much time to undress too. She played with his cock to get him erect and she was pretty much wet already as this was basically all her fantasies coming true, she was in a very excited state of mind. I on the other hand felt more and more jealous and started to feel angst, and a bit of anger inside me, because it isn't me that gets to lie down with her on the couch and fuck her, and I'm being replaced completely in this sense, it was really a soul crushing feeling at first, but I remembered the positive advices here, the support, and I remembered why I'm doing this, and I knew that this was really important for her to be happy and that she's been dreaming about this stuff for years. As he proceeded to penetrate her, and fuck her my angst was slowly overtaken by arousement, because well, I was pretty much getting to see porn real-time.

    Sometime during the fucking she gave me signal that I should worship her feet, she was lying on the outer part of the couch, with my friend in the inner part, so I could sit next to the couch and do so. I was rock hard during the whole time. I was passionately sucking on her toes as she was getting fucked. She admitted afterwards that she pretty much couldn't feel me meanwhile, but it felt good for me to get to take part. Not much after my friend dropped his load in her pussy, I also cummed, onto the floor of course, which was excruciatingly humiliating. Although the whole experience was a massive emotional rollercoaster, I found the experience very positive, especially because my gf was so pleased during the whole time, and she orgasmed hard too.

    I'm a bit worried though, because she wants me to perform "clean up duties" this weekend...

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