frustrated, pouting, cranky "old" man

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by bricbat, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    I'm so frustrated today. I just need to vent. Seems like all summer long my wife doesn't leave the house unless she's wearing a snug fitting little dress or a tight skirt. One time when she came back from grocery shopping (a snug peach colored dress and white high heel sandals) and told me how a couple black guys started talking to her at the store. But that was it! She wouldn't say another word about it! I'm frustrated because I know the dresses are not for me, because I know if I were to try anything she'd toss me aside.

    Then I start to pout, which makes it worse. I even got jealous of a stupid song, if you can believe it. There's that popular song, "Slow Hands," which is mostly about sex. My wife loves that song. I don't understand how she could love that song, when as far as I know, she's not interested in sex. I get jealous that she's imagining some young passionate guy when she listens to the song. I couldn't take it any more last night and made a remark about how stupid the song is because it's only about sex. She said I turned into a "grumpy old man."

    Why does she wear the dresses and listen to songs like that if she doesn't like sex? I'm starting to feel like the whole music/entertainment industry is pushing sex but in reality no one is really doing it. They're just pretending to want to do it.
    Pathedick likes this.
  2. hankhavelock

    hankhavelock Well-Known Member

    Oh yes, pop music of today is not only "non-musical" but it's also overly "sexed". That said, what are the news? Did she finally get that little peach-coloured, tight dress removed from her steaming body by a hot lover? ;-)
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  3. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Yes bricbat, people ARE doing more than just talking about Sex. They, and VERY Likely, your wife ARE getting Sexual Pleasure from having Sex with others. But some of us Derive our Sexual Pleasure from frequent Denial of Sex with others. You "APPEAR" to fall into that type, at least to some extent.
    We Are Who we ARE.
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  4. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    That's very true @Pathedick We are who we are. I just wish my wife would be more forthcoming with me.

    We were talking about a show or movie (I can't remember what it was) where one of the characters thinks he might be gay. Out of nowhere my wife said she thinks questioning your sexuality can be healthy, and it's not a big deal if a guy gives another guy a blow job to experiment with it. :confused: She's never said that kind of thing to me before. o_O I said it's not the kind of experimenting I'd want to do, and she said I was being judgemental. :oops: Sometimes I wonder who she is. :eek:
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  5. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    I had a miserable night last night. I let my jealousy get the better of me, and my wife called me on it.

    We were hanging out and somehow the conversation got to the movie "Bad Moms Christmas," which my wife had seen on a girls night out and someone commented that my wife thought the male stripper character was really sexy.

    I looked him up online, and found a pic of the scene where the male stripper is laying on a table with his legs up in the air. I was like, "This looks totally gay. " And my wife retorted, "What's the big deal? He's getting his balls waxed. So what? That's part of his job. "

    " think that's sexy?!"

    "What is wrong with you?" she asked.

    "I try so hard to make myself look good for you, and you don't even care!" I started to get so upset I nearly cried.

    I looked the actor up and found out he's 40 years old. She said, "Forty? He looks like he's in his 20s."

    I just felt really humbled and neglected and like a loser. She never tells me I'm sexy. She'd think it was weird if I waxed my balls (not that I would).

    Everything with her social life is about fun, and sexy, and everything with her life with me is about the "business" side of running the household. Then I get "bitchy" (her word) and that just pushes me further down the loser-tube.

    So she yelled at me (basically in front of everyone) that I was being ridiculous and we shouldn't even be having this conversation. I left the room and worked on the laundry and cleaning up all the kitchen pots & pans and dishes. Then I showered and went to bed but couldn't sleep because I was so upset.

    This morning she almost went out with a group of friends to go skiing (without me, because I don't know how to ski) but decided to stay home and work on the classes she's teaching next semester.
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  6. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    And to push me even further into my erotic misery---this morning she has me cleaning out the kitchen cabinets. She said, "We don't need those shot glasses. You can throw that one out or keep it. It must be yours."
    I looked at it and said, "I can't read the print without my reading glasses. What's it say?"
    She read, "Baltimore Harborview Restaurant." (or something like that. I don't remember exactly) "You must have done a shot and bought the glass."
    I said, "It's not mine. I've never been to a restaurant in the Inner Harbor. And I've never done a shot like that."

    Then she said, "Oh, yeah!" And blushed a little. "It must have been mine from when my ex-boyfriend lived down there." And she giggled.

    That's the second time in two days the ex-boyfriend came up in conversation. Yesterday I told her that I'd never had venison before. She said she and her ex-boyfriend would cook some whenever there was nothing else in the 'fridge.

    I had a rare glimpse into their "domestic" life--which was mostly a life of college and post-college shacking up, sex, and parties. (she basically moved into his apartment but had never told her parents--not that it mattered--they were expected to get married eventually).

    I wanted to know more but she clams up pretty easily when we talk about her past. "You mean he had a lot of venison?"
    "Of course! He was a hunter!"
    "Yeah, I guess so," I added, "I've never done that."
    "I know," she said. :oops:
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  7. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Well that is Rough of her, on you. But from my reading Many of your posts, it's my Impression that you Love it.
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  8. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Soak it up bricbat. Your Wife sounds like a gem for submissives like you (and me ).
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  9. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    It's the only relationship that either of us could be in long term. My wife is drawn to Alpha males but is too much of an Alpha herself to make it work. I'm drawn to Alpha women. As often as she says she didn't want to be the "leader" her marriage, she also admits that she couldn't have a long term relationship with the kind of man she thought she'd be with.

    My problem is that I spend all my time trying to be the man she wants, only to fail and get frustrated. :confused::mad::(:)
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  10. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    I feel lonely. I left work early because my wife needed me to run some errands. I got home, got my instructions on what to make myself for dinner. She was dressed to go out with people from work (not totally dressed up like for a weekend: leggings and ankle boots and a long tunic). She left for most of the evening.

    She got home and was sort of grumpy. I wanted to chat with her, and she told me she was busy answering emails, told me 'of course, she had eaten' and then went up for a shower and bed. I finished my chores. :(

    So I decided to look at some porn, but my penis wont even get hard because I see the alpha studs fucking women like my wife and I know I can't compare. :oops:
  11. rocketman

    rocketman Guest

    You want to be with an Alpha woman, and you are with a woman who wants an Alpha male, which you are not. Embrace and accept who you are and your submissive role in the relationship. You get to be with the woman you want to be with. Serve her needs and stop trying to be the man she wants (a real Alpha male). Give her what she wants. And when you feel frustrated and grumpy remind yourself you are lucky to have your wife in your life.
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  12. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    Thank you! :)
  13. hankhavelock

    hankhavelock Well-Known Member

    This is an excellent thread and I will echo the advice above. Don't fight it, bricbat. You're obviously a beta with a strong, amazing wife. Surrender to the inevitable and learn not only to accept but to cherish it.

    I too sense that you actually yearn for it, so give into it.

    Based on what you write, your wife said it herself - that while she's attracted to alpha males she could never live with one like she lives with you. So from where I stand, you two seem rather perfect for each other - the only obstacle being that you have difficulties reconciling with the obvious, namely that she chose to marry you and no one else.

    She also mentioned that she didn't want to be the leader of the marriage. That tells me that even though she cuckolds you with her alpha lovers she wants a husband to be her equal in other aspects of married life - not someone who's constantly wining and complaining.

    I sincerely hope you can get over your inhibitions and settle contently into your marriage as the beta cuckold hubby you probably long to be.

    So all best wishes and respect - hopefully you will keep us posted on your path.
    bricbat likes this.
  14. hankhavelock

    hankhavelock Well-Known Member

    All that said I truly respect this thread for its relevance, bricbat.
    bricbat likes this.
  15. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    Thank you, hankhavelock. :)

    Being an equal in the marriage is virtually impossible for either of us to maintain. She simply cannot, no matter how hard she tries, not be the boss. :cool:
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  16. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    I managed my emotions well yesterday. In other words, I'm getting back to "normal."

    We were at a very crowded spectator event. It was standing-room-only. We found enough space for us to be able to see, and of course, my wife started chatting with the guy standing on the other side of her. It seemed like he was with his wife, on the other side of him. The were really getting on well, the three of them.
    I noticed whenever I had to go use the restroom, when I'd get back to my spot there was no space for me. I'd have to wait until the other spectators shifted or moved away before I got edge in next to my wife. Whenever he left, my wife would laugh, "I'll save your spot!" And she would!

    But, I didn't complain. I didn't even mention it--mentioning it would automatically be a complaint. Later on I found out that the other woman wasn't his wife. His wife had gotten a seat nearby and didn't seem to care in the least that her hubby was flirting and laughing and having a fun time with her friend and his new friend (my wife).
  17. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    Here's something new: My wife demanded absolute fidelity when we were dating.

    Last night, after 20+ years of marriage, she told me cheating doesn't really count until you're married.
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  18. rocketman

    rocketman Guest

    Good for you didn't complain! Better to tell her that you are very pleased that she had such a fun time flirting with her new guy friend. She deserves to enjoy herself that way. You really need to go along with whatever makes her happy and brings her joy.
    bricbat likes this.
  19. bricbat

    bricbat Guest

    I know, and I try my best. Sometimes my libido still gets in the way. Like today, when she has some frustrations with life (nothing serious) and I tried to act like a strong male care-giver rather than a sympathetic enabling girlfriend, and she told me not to act that way because all it did was upset her more.

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