cuckold "outing"

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by stuckcuck, Dec 28, 2008.

  1. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    it finally happened last night, sure a few people suspected my wife was cheating on me, maybe they were spotted out, an innocent meal somewhere or in a store. last night was different, they went together to a party at which many of our oldest friends were in attendance. holding hands, kissing, leaving no doubt he was not just a friend. it will be humiliating to face them the next time, and certainly awkward, do i admit to knowing or play the unknowing fool. how did she explain? i will have to ask about the entire evening, but she won't be home for hours and as she will be tired she will dismiss my attempts to learn more. she makes her own rules and will tell me that no one suspects and they went as "friends",but our friends are not stupid and i am sure we were the topic of the party. i have just started seeing a therapist but i am not sure if she is equipped to deal with this as my chosen lifestyle just as i am not sure if i can handle being openly and publicly cuckolded. on one hand i find the public humiliation exciting but i still have a role i play as a man with my buddies and i am certain to be questioned as to why i don't just leave my cheating wife. 2009 will be an interesting year and i can only hope i will both understand and find what i am lookig for. i love my beautiful wife and support her extramarital needs, now i will find out if i have the balls to say that in public.
     
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  2. PDXsubcuck

    PDXsubcuck Active Member

    Find the right therapist.

    Look around in some of the local throw away papers, the alternative ones that run sex ads and you should be able to find a therapist that works with people in alternative lifestyles. Find the therapist that works for YOU and your hobby.

    Good luck and for your lifestyle to work you and your wife might need to communicate a little more so you and her can have the same story when and if you talk about your wife and her friends with mutual friends. Please let us know what happens.
     
  3. gussie

    gussie New Member

    Finding a good therapist is good advice, I have very little family left in town here so it was pretty easy for me. Joanne's sister knows about us and a few select friends do to. Since we have been together since high school it is a pretty open secret for us.

    When we meet new people we don't broach the subject unless it comes up oterwise, I have to attend functions for my job and most of my co-workers are oblivious to it, those that do know and they are very few keep it to themselves.

    So far over the years we have had very few problems, and then only with men who became angry afterwards and shot thier mouths off. But if you work at it you and her will have a great life together.
     
  4. NECuck

    NECuck Super Moderator

    Maybe a Therapist as a MEMBER

     
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  5. Triadz

    Triadz New Member

    Starcuck,

    I am in the same boat. A month ago my band was playing in a local bar. It was my wifes b-day and she let me know ( text message at work) she wanted new cock that night. She ended up bringing home a friend of our drummers son, a guy half her age. His whole group of friends watched us leave together and they picked him up later. I wonder if he has told all his friends how I sat there and watched as she sucked and fucked him for hours
    Two weeks later at the same bar the wife calls her ex bf who she has recently started seeing. He comes down, has a drink, and then takes her home, leading her out of the club right in front of my band mates and friends and everyone. I was able to pass it off by saying they were just friends avoiding being publicly cuckolded which I don't know if I am ready for.
     
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  6. christinebitg

    christinebitg Well-Known Member

    PDX's suggestion for finding a kink-friendly therapist is a good one, if the one you have turns out not to be able to handle it. Don't let that one tell you that you can't do what you feel like. Some will try that, and some won't.

    << i love my beautiful wife and support her extramarital needs >>

    Keep that in mind. Now, having said that, I have some thoughts for how you could reply when you get questioned. You can pick and choose or do whatever you feel like.

    - You could ask people if they're sure. And then (or not) express surprise.

    - If someone asks "What are you going to do about it?" you can reply with, "I don't know, I'll have to think about it."

    - If people ask you difficult questions, you could respond instead by asking them why they want to know. And keep in mind that you don't have to answer anything you don't feel like answering. Or tell them that it's personal.

    - You could say "Really? I don't know anything about it."

    - You could say that you think maybe it's just a phase she's going through, and/or that you think she'll get over it, or that she'll grow out of it, or whatever that makes it sound temporary. (Hey, you never know. Everything in life is ultimately temporary, right?)

    - You could shrug it off and say that it's up to her what she does.

    - If you're really into the possibility of submission, etc., you could ask her what she wants you to do. Don't try that unless you are prepared to deal with her answer, whatever it is.

    Also remember that if you don't like your options, there are ALWAYS more options. When things look hopeless, you just haven't considered all the infinite variety of possibilities.

    Oh, and also, you could be on the receiving end of "sympathy f*cks" from women who are attracted to you and think your wife is mis-treating you. :)

    Christine
     
  7. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    therapist

    first of all,thanks to all of you for your solid responses, this truly is a supportive community. as for my therapist , i have seen her again and my wife and her behavior have been the main topic of disscussion. she is quite understanding and is focusing on my growth as opposed to telling me to change my wife's ways, or not tolerate them. she is very curious as to why i am so supportive of my wife and what i get out of it.she now knows my wife has an active and excellent sex life while i am reduced to masturbation.

    it was quite humiliating admitting this but also very liberating, i will admit i had to shift around on her couch as i got hard exposing some of our dark secrets. for the first time i admitted being submissive to my wife's needs and explained that as my role in our marriage. this is the simple version of our session but suffice it to say this cuckold is emerging from the shadows into the harsh light of day and while i am unsure of my future it feels good so far.
     
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  8. qwertyuiop123

    qwertyuiop123 New Member

    really interesting stuckcuck, keep us updated if you would.
     
  9. NECuck

    NECuck Super Moderator

  10. VROB

    VROB New Member

    Has she mentioned anything about a trial separation or divorce? Looks to me she's announcing to your friends you two are splitting . I hope I'm wrong but that's what it looks like to me. BTW, how many lovers does she have? Is she in love with the guy?

    VROB
     
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  11. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    still married

    VROB,
    my wife still loves and cares for me,she enjoys the home life i provide and the excitement other men provide. she is only sleeping with one other man that i know of but is flirting with at least one more. she has told me she loves being with him but does not see him as a lifetime partner.i believe i will always be involved in her life but if she were to move on he would probably end up a cuckold as she has always needed more than one man in her life.
    it's complicated here as i am trying to understand my needs as well. she kept her exposure of her relationship to a group of friends seperate from our local circle, sort of a have your cake and eat it too. maybe this was a trial baloon to see how it goes over, maybe it was the beginning of the end, either way like most things it will be up to her.
     
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  12. bricbat

    bricbat Well-Known Member

    I would guess that no one will say anything to you. It probably embarasses your friends, too. They'll gossip, etc., but probably shield you from it. And after a while, it'll blow over and become just one of those things.

    Take a deep breath and just make it through.
     
  13. pops

    pops New Member

    cuckold

    I am sure there are all types of cucks in this world. I would say this, if you are one of the traditional cucks that has his wifes happiness in mind, then you would be very interested in seeing that she have the very best bbc that is available. I know for a fact that a satisfied woman is so much easier to live with than one that is not satisfied. It is the ladies that need to determine what they need and what they desire.

    It is not their fault that their chosen husbands are not able to fulfill their obligations, so I think they should have all the latitude to find the one that satisfies her the most. A very large and viable bbc is the most logical thing for them to try. I think that the ladies are deserving of the thing that pleases them the most. They are required to love and cherishs the product of their womb so they should be the one who decides the provider of this product.

    These are my thoughts and like assholes, everyone has them and are intitled to one.

    Pops
     
  14. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    my worry,my fear

    it's funny, as i think more and more about being "outed" i grow comfortable with the humiliation i will almost certainly feel when i run into people who know, i think i even crave it. my worry however has become my wife and what people may think of her. "that cheating bitch","that slut", she is none of these, she is simply a beautiful woman with needs that cannot be satisfied by one man, any man. how do i convey that message to people beyond this forum, how will i tell them it's what she needs, it's what we both need.

    she is a special woman and i am lucky to be her cuckold, that is where i stand. one of the questions my therapist asked me is "what do i get out of this". i feebly explained that it made my wife happy and gave us a more contented home life, what i have yet to convey is the sexual charge i get when she is with her lover, i have yet to tell her of my frequent masturbation sessions at the very thought of my wife with another man's cock and the angst i feel when i know she is out being filled by one.explaining this to my therapist is difficult, explaining it to my friends impossible.
     
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  15. 1A_BAD_ROD

    1A_BAD_ROD New Member

    I am with you on this one. Wives are always looking for the Macho Dominant Man. And if you aint it, do your best to make yourself useful. Or at least stay out of the way...
     
  16. christinebitg

    christinebitg Well-Known Member

    My opinion is that what they think of her is her "cross to bear," not yours. SHE will have to deal with what they think of her, positively or negatively.

    The extent to which you try to influence that, to take on her burden as your own, is the extent to which you are engaging in co-dependency. She will have to own this issue for herself. And there really isn't much of anything that you can do to "fix it" for her, regardless of how much you think you can or even think you "should."

    Christine
     
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  17. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    the "c" word

    i had another session with the therapist yesterday. she had asked me last week what i get out of my wife's infidelity, i had explained that it made my wife happy and i enjoyed the quiet nights at home, but yesterday i came clean, i told her that my wife's sex life excited me and that it is my only sexual outlet. she then shocked me by telling me that there is a word for this type of relationship, cuckold. it was the first time someone had actually used the name to my face and i confessed that i knew the word and felt i was one.
    there is quite a bit more but i will add to this post when i have more time.
    i went on to say that i did not think i could be in a conventional relationship anymore and that i felt my role was to be the other man to a woman, not the alpha but the one who did everything else for them. i admitted to missing intercourse but confessed that i was intimidated by the thought of competing with my wife's lover.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2009
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  18. subcuck

    subcuck New Member

    On being outed

    Stuckcuck

    I want to thank you for this post and thread. My significant other has read this and had some thoughts. She felt that the outing of you was about two things. First it is about your wife's power and control over you. Secondly it is about a "power transfer". In other words on some psychological level you are openly giving up your manhood and respect which is taken up by your wife who becomes something greater. She is of the opinion that your wife being known as a woman who can be unashamed of her sexuality AND have a submissive husband serve her is a good thing. So while your concern for your wife's reputation is understandable , maybe her reputation has been enhanced. Men will look at her with possibilities in mind. Women may talk about her, but, it will be because of jealousy.

    Keep posting regarding the therapist. Is she open minded about this lifestyle? There are some of us who can be nothing but cuckolds, and submissive ones at that. It would be nice to think that there are therapists out there who could embrace that and help people develop the relationships in the right way. Good luck.

    Subcuck
     
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  19. christinebitg

    christinebitg Well-Known Member

    That's phenomenal! I may have to raise my opinion of your therapist a notch. :)

    I think that historically, when people referred to "cuckold," they meant that it was behind the husband's back. My guess is that if she has categorized that way after your description, that perhaps she is more accepting of it than I had thought.

    I'm very much looking forward to the rest of what you're going to share regarding that visit. Not to play at second-guessing her, just interested.

    Christine
     
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  20. stuckcuck

    stuckcuck Well-Known Member

    not unusual

    she also stated that it was not unusual for men to accept their wive's infidelity, but i'm not sure if she was trying to make me feel more comfortable with talking about my relationship or that she has run into this quite a bit, she is a therapist after all. either way it does continue to feel good to be able to release my thoughts to someone (besides here).

    one point of discussion was my upbringing, my parents seperated when i was young but stayed married and even dated for the next twenty years. during that time my mother had a series of boyfriends and it was not unusual for them to spend the night, many were friends of my father and this obviously plays a large role in my accepting of my wife's need for other men in her life.
     

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