Alright this will be the first post of many as I attempt to tell the story of my life as a cuckold. Although there will be some “embellishments to spice it up and conceal our identities” it is definitely all based on these truths, I became a cuckold over 3 decades ago., it was on going and lasted for decades, and we had many children and they are not all mine (she liked to tease that none of them were, but ALL were raised and loved like they were). I see many posts where the cuckold, or want to be cuckold or the cuckolds wife/girlfriend are wondering WHY? Why they feel like they do. I of course have had a lot of time to think about this, and since I’m in a scientific and technical field I tend to be analytic in a lot of my thinking. So in explaining how I because a cuckold, including one that thrives on the humiliation aspect of it, I need to go all the way back. I have come to the conclusion that who we are sexually has at least 2 truths. First we are born to be who we are sexually (for the most part. Yes there are experiences in life that shape it also but for the most part our sexually, our sexual turn ons, is part of WHO we are). When someone who is gay says they were born that way, I know this to be true (I’m not gay by the way but will explain WHO I am sexually much more to come). I do not believe you can truly change who you are sexually. Which is why pedophiles should never get out of jail, it is part of who they are and it can’t be cured, the same goes with rapists. The second conclusion is that who we are sexually can be VERY, or even completely different from who we are in all the other aspects of life. Both of these conclusions fit me and my life experience. I of course didn’t grow up thinking I was a cuckold. Didn’t even know what one was. But has I was becoming one, though various steps and afterwards I’ve truly come to believe that I was born to be a cuckold (of course my wife would add that just my small thin, very quick cumming dick and my lousy fucking ability also made me born to be a cuckold, and I can’t argue with that either). Plus I am very different in the rest of my life than I am sexually. I am successful in my field and competitive in it. I have been successful in 2 different sports, both as an athlete and as a coach and am VERY competitive in sports. I do NOT like to lose. Which is why “Loser” is pretty much the only word that I do not like used when sexually humiliating me with words. I am NOT a loser, just a lousy fuck and a cuckold. I do not like to be humiliated, made fun of or laughed at in any way EXCEPT sexually, which I most definitely do. Even the rest of my marriage I pretty much made the decisions in it on almost everything non sexual (though with her input of course and I would of course try to please her a lot). Yet sexually I’m very submissive and want to be controlled. So the beginning. I pretty much had a normal childhood. Father and Mother stayed together till death did they part (marriage over 50 years). They raised 10 kids. So nothing really in my childhood influenced my cuckoldness. But I have always been VERY high sexed. I discovered very young that playing with my dick made me feel good and by the time I was maybe 11 or 12 I didn’t know how at first to jack off, with the up and down motion, but I would rub my dick back and forth between my hands like you would a stick trying to start a fire and look at a teenage native girl picture I tore out of a National Geographic magazine who was topless (very nice shaped tits from my memory). The first time I ever had an orgasm I was so young no sperm came out, nothing did. I didn’t know what happened and was scared I had hurt myself. But quickly decided that I VERY much liked that feeling and started to do it more and more. I quickly learned that the rubbing and it’s friction could make me raw with as often that I was doing it and discovered the up and down motion. Back then we didn’t have sex ed until middle school so once I learned a bit more I was thrilled and fascinated when I started to shoot sperm. Even from the beginning there was something so powerfully sexual about sperm and my cock shooting cum (still love seeing cocks shoot cum or even imagining what the head of one of her lovers cocks looks like has it shoots it‘s load deep inside her). I was soon doing it every day and more, sometimes up to 5 times a day. I started to want to stick my dick into something, to fuck something. I tried various things, even used an empty alka seltzer bottle, if you remember they used to come in skinny glass bottles that were just wider than the tablets are and were 5 inches tall or so. Due to the fact my little dick was even skinner and smaller then I could stick my little stiffy into it and jerk off with it and because it was glass I could see my sperm shoot into it. Has I entered my teenage years and really got into girls I wanted more, I wanted the real thing. But I was not only small in statue (I was late to sprout and even then was still smaller than average, and not just in the dick department), but I was also painfully shy. I did have some girlfriends but they never were very long term, longest maybe 3 months. BUT I never tried anything with them, besides kissing. Never even felt them up. Thought I was being a gentleman and didn’t want to make them dump me for trying something like that. In hindsight that could very well be why it never lasted too long. They maybe got tired of waiting for me to make the move. As much as I wanted to, I never did. I guess I was submissive sexually even then but didn’t know it. So I kept playing with my dickie like a little boy (not knowing it was a little dickie). For you younger folk back then there wasn’t any internet or even home computers so there was VERY little access to porn. Besides the teenage native girl I used to use the Montgomery Wards catalog for my jerk off sessions. The pictures of teenage girls and women in panties (maybe that one of the reasons I’m so into panties today). Plus I discovered my fathers stash of paperback novels under my parents mattress (all boys/men used to stash their porn under their mattress like their mothers/wives wouldn’t find it). But his paperback porn was about male dominated S & M and although I would occasionally be desperate and horny enough to check it out, mainly for the drawings of naked females and sex, it didn’t turn me on at all. That’s another reason that I say we are born to be turned on by what you are turned on by. I was young, and impressible and exposed to that male dominated S & M but it was not me. Just like some guys are turned on more by blonds, redheads or black hair. Some guys are into huge tits some smaller more pert tits (that’s me, bigger breasts sometimes look better in clothes but smaller more pert breasts look much better naked). Some guys are leg men (me) some guys are ass men (definitely me). What we are turned on by or not is part of who we are. Just like you can’t force someone to love you, you also can’t force someone to be turned on/lust you. My older brother also had some porn too (also under his mattress) but I don’t remember any of it being cuckold related. Other things I noticed during this time. I started to have such strong urges to have sex and I now knew about oral sex that I even tried to suck my own dick. But in spite of my being pretty limber in those days my dick was just too short. The most I managed to do was a couple of times flick the tip of my tongue over the very tip. I also started to develop the irresistible urge to taste cum but like most men/boys would fail to follow through after cumming. So I even tried to use a straw to suck it up as I came. Didn’t work though. I also tried to flip my legs up over my head and jerk off into my mouth, but that wasn’t very comfortable at all even when I was that limber (many years later my wife had me do it a few times too). Plus I don’t know why but I was always anally fixated. I liked putting my finger or a pen up my ass (or even better I found a discarded plastic cigar case shaped like a penis, a thin penis but I didn’t know any better because mine wasn’t much thicker and used that sometimes). Now you might think, with all these thoughts and desires to suck my dick and shallow my sperm, and wanting something to fuck my ass that I was gay. Well I don’t really stick any definition on myself. And don’t care what others might define me as. But I do not consider myself gay. I have always LUSTED after women and wanted women. I’m attracted to women from their hair (prefer longer than shorter), face, eyes, lips, breasts, belly, and up from their toes and feet to their legs, ass (I’m an ass man remember) to that most prized and sought after part that a female can give a man, her pussy (prefer hairy, but bald is ok too, just way over common now). I have always looked at women and wanted to hold them, cuddle them, to kiss them to stick my dick into their mouth, pussy, and ass. But I have never looked at men that way. I have never looked at men walking around in clothes and felt anything, let alone lust. I am not attracted to men, not their hair, face, lips, chest, arms, belly, feet, legs, ass. NONE of it. BUT as I stated I became fascinated by a spurting cock and sperm. I had (and still don’t) no desire to kiss a man, cuddle with a man, stick my dickie in a mans mouth, or desire to fuck a man. But I began to have fantasies about sucking a cock and feeling it spurting it’s creamy load in my mouth and since I was also anally fixated (or had a “hot horny ass” as my wife would say), I thought about being fucked by a cock. These desires has strong as they were at times weren’t near my desires for female love and sex. See I’m just HIGHLY sexed, and always have been. So I graduate high school and I’m off to the Navy. How did I go from a virgin very young sailor to a decades long cuckold. Well though I may be wordy (and therefore not interesting to everyone who is just here for a sound bite like it seems more people are interested in now) if you are interested you’ll have to wait to find out till the next installment. I promise it gets better both for me and those reading my story.