Hello, I have lurked on this site for absolutely ages, but I have never contributed as I have not really had anything to say. Some background My wife (“F”) and I are married (a decade) and we practice a very gentle form of FLR. We aren’t into spanking or anything like that, we are pretty much the definition of vanilla. When we married F was inexperienced sexually and deferred to me. I have a strong personality, am almost 10 years older (now early 50s) and had a lot of sexual experience coming into our marriage - so at the very start we both just fell into me taking the lead. However neither of us found the sexual side of our relationship very satisfying. We argued a lot and so when I came across the book “Worshiping Your Wife” and showed it to my wife it seemed to make sense to us both. What did we have to lose - and so we started into a female led relationship. It has been brilliant. F became much more relaxed about sex and confident in asserting herself both in the bedroom and more generally in our relationship as well. There were a few early blow ups as I struggled to adapt to a different type of relationship, and to opening up to real intimacy and vulnerability (new to me). Gradually I adapted and was able to put aside my own fantasies and not “back seat drive” as F described it - and just let her take our relationship and sex life where she wanted it. The FLR lifestyle as we practise it has suited us both very well and we have a very happy marriage. I absolutely adore F and I know that she really loves me too. After a couple of years F fell pregnant with our child and during the pregnancy her sex drive increased markedly, as did her willingness to put herself first. Chastity (the honour system) had been part of our FLR dynamic from the first but during her pregnancy it became a much more important part of our relationship. I was chaste almost the whole pregnancy, and for about 9 months after the birth. At the same time my wife would have me go down on her at least once a day, give her massages and generally pamper her. After the birth of our child, which was difficult, our sex life fell off a cliff, but thanks to the dynamic we had already established it was a very happy time for us as I was willing and able to help out a great deal, and after about 9 months F felt ready for us to resume our sex life (which now included me having orgasms). My wife has always wanted to know what I fantasised about and so I would tell her - not just the dreams I sometimes had about cuckolding situations but other (pretty tame) stuff as well. My wife on the other hand is generally more reticent about sharing her fantasies. Sometimes they are just silly ones, such as where she is an Ottoman princess and I am her eunuch pleasing her as i go down on her. Others were more “interesting” - like the one where she was being seduced by some arrogant young American Footballer, and despite not liking him, she couldn’t resist him. She would find herself kissing him passionately and when they had sex he would bring her to one helpless orgasm after another while he remained in complete self control. Given my own predilections, you can imagine my interest. I was very open with F that I found this fantasy extremely erotic and we discussed it at length, but after a while it lost its interest for F and we just naturally stopped talking about it. A year or two later my wife developed a persistent fantasy about a young Clint Eastwood who would take her in a 19thC Wild West type setting. One point that stuck with me with this fantasy was that in it she would burst into tears of emotional release when she had her orgasm. F was always, and remains, somewhat reticent to discuss the details of her fantasy, and definitely doesn’t talk about them outside of a bedroom setting. A year ago F joined an amateur dramatics group and they performed a romantic comedy in which she and another guy had to act a bedroom scene together. It was all extremely innocent, there was just one kiss in their scene, but the young guy acting opposite her developed an infatuation with F, which she found amusing and flattering in equal measure. I deliberately avoided the live performance and cast party afterwards, as I didn’t want to give F the giggles when she was on stage. F came home late and a little tipsy after the party and told me “ I think S REALLY likes me”. As we made love she told me how he had tried to kiss her at the party and had insisted that they exchange numbers. The next day he texted her and asked her to lunch. I encouraged her to go, but she really didn’t think that would be a good idea. About three months ago I asked if she would like to think about joining another acting group. My wife quickly became aroused and our conversation turned to S. F explained that she had felt almost maternal towards him rather than romantic. She asked me how I imagined a situation where she met someone in an acting situation and I described her meeting and being drawn to a guy she found “dangerously attractive” someone she could really fall for, but who she couldn’t resist and where they become passionate lovers, sneaking around, her constantly thinking of him and being with him. My wife came very strongly when we made love and then had me go down on her after I had an orgasm - something she has come to really enjoy over the last 18 months. About two months ago we were going through one of those periods in most marriages, where our sex life was a bit quiet and I certainly felt uninspired. When we did make love F seemed locked in her own bubble and I complained that I felt excluded and that what we were doing felt more like mutual mastabation rather than making love. F was upset and we didn’t try to make love again for a week, but when we did (about a month ago) she described what she has been thinking about. She has been fantasising about making love to a young stranger, where she is very submissive to him and he is very commanding. In her fantasy she describes him as”making her do things” - go down on him, be taken from behind etc. That the guy in her fantasy is very muscular and very well endowed. We have only spoken of this fantasy twice, as I have learnt not to press her on her fantasies if I want to keep it light and F feeling like it’s something she wants to share with me. But both times her fantasy has come up F has been incredibly aroused and has cum very intensely. Now up to today, and why I am writing. Yesterday morning F and I were chatting in bed and talking about our plans for the day. F mentioned that she was going to the gym and I jokingly asked her if “her boyfriend” would be there - an eccentric guy with a huge beard she sometimes chats to in the sauna. All totally innocent. She looked puzzled and asked who I meant. We talked about the bearded guy, who she hasn’t seen in months, and I asked if she gets a lot of male attention at the gym (she is v pretty, ex ballet dancer - slim, great figure, great legs, size 10, very lovely and kind face). I then mentioned one of the personal trainers who I had seen eyeing her when we had last been to the gym together and she said no - but in a way that gave me pause. I then asked if there was anyone else who she liked at the gym, and she mentioned another personal trainer called Tom, who she said she really liked and sometimes chats to. I asked what he is like and she was hesitant, so I reassured her that she knows I find this sort of stuff erotic, so she can be completely open. She described him as a young guy of about 27 who she has known for 7 years, and how in that time he has really filled out and become very muscular and strong. She described how she has a “crush on him” but that it is all very innocent and “I think a lot of the ladies like Tom”. What I find interesting about this - interesting enough to write a long and probably v dull entry - is that we were not making love. It was a very mundane, non sexual situation. Later when I brought F breakfast in bed (something I do daily) she was playful and tickled me through my boxers, asking if I was turned on. As a joke I said to her “your challenge for today, if you wish to accept it, is to flirt with Tom” to which she replied - “he might not be there”. I said well if he is find an opportunity to flirt with him. My wife just said OK and then I had to go out to see to our child. She was out all day yesterday, and when I caught up with her in the evening we were both busy with Easter preparations, so have not had a chance to catch up properly. Some advice needed. So first up I want to be clear - I do not want to manipulate my wife into having an affair if she doesn’t want it or isn’t comfortable with it. I really don’t want my wife to have her heart broken or to be badly treated. I REALLY don’t want to lose her and get divorced, and as a secondary consideration, Tom sounds like a really nice guy - I don’t want his heart broken either. At the same time I find the idea of F having a lover both deeply psychologically satisfying on some level that I don’t at all understand, as well as being extremely erotic. If there is anyone on this site that has experience of this type of very vanilla type of situation I would really appreciate your thoughts advice and guidance. My instinct is to continue as before and just let F take whatever path she wants - even if that means this never moving beyond fantasy. Deep down I would love it if she did take a lover, but I don’t know if she ever will, or how to encourage her to do so without backseat driving. I want this to be her thing or nothing at all.