Advice to a total newbie

Discussion in 'Methods, Techniques and Advice' started by nobody, Apr 19, 2019.

  1. nobody

    nobody Member


    I have lurked on this site for absolutely ages, but I have never contributed as I have not really had anything to say.

    Some background

    My wife (“F”) and I are married (a decade) and we practice a very gentle form of FLR. We aren’t into spanking or anything like that, we are pretty much the definition of vanilla.

    When we married F was inexperienced sexually and deferred to me. I have a strong personality, am almost 10 years older (now early 50s) and had a lot of sexual experience coming into our marriage - so at the very start we both just fell into me taking the lead.

    However neither of us found the sexual side of our relationship very satisfying. We argued a lot and so when I came across the book “Worshiping Your Wife” and showed it to my wife it seemed to make sense to us both. What did we have to lose - and so we started into a female led relationship. It has been brilliant. F became much more relaxed about sex and confident in asserting herself both in the bedroom and more generally in our relationship as well. There were a few early blow ups as I struggled to adapt to a different type of relationship, and to opening up to real intimacy and vulnerability (new to me). Gradually I adapted and was able to put aside my own fantasies and not “back seat drive” as F described it - and just let her take our relationship and sex life where she wanted it. The FLR lifestyle as we practise it has suited us both very well and we have a very happy marriage. I absolutely adore F and I know that she really loves me too.

    After a couple of years F fell pregnant with our child and during the pregnancy her sex drive increased markedly, as did her willingness to put herself first. Chastity (the honour system) had been part of our FLR dynamic from the first but during her pregnancy it became a much more important part of our relationship. I was chaste almost the whole pregnancy, and for about 9 months after the birth. At the same time my wife would have me go down on her at least once a day, give her massages and generally pamper her.

    After the birth of our child, which was difficult, our sex life fell off a cliff, but thanks to the dynamic we had already established it was a very happy time for us as I was willing and able to help out a great deal, and after about 9 months F felt ready for us to resume our sex life (which now included me having orgasms).

    My wife has always wanted to know what I fantasised about and so I would tell her - not just the dreams I sometimes had about cuckolding situations but other (pretty tame) stuff as well.

    My wife on the other hand is generally more reticent about sharing her fantasies. Sometimes they are just silly ones, such as where she is an Ottoman princess and I am her eunuch pleasing her as i go down on her. Others were more “interesting” - like the one where she was being seduced by some arrogant young American Footballer, and despite not liking him, she couldn’t resist him. She would find herself kissing him passionately and when they had sex he would bring her to one helpless orgasm after another while he remained in complete self control. Given my own predilections, you can imagine my interest. I was very open with F that I found this fantasy extremely erotic and we discussed it at length, but after a while it lost its interest for F and we just naturally stopped talking about it.

    A year or two later my wife developed a persistent fantasy about a young Clint Eastwood who would take her in a 19thC Wild West type setting. One point that stuck with me with this fantasy was that in it she would burst into tears of emotional release when she had her orgasm.

    F was always, and remains, somewhat reticent to discuss the details of her fantasy, and definitely doesn’t talk about them outside of a bedroom setting.

    A year ago F joined an amateur dramatics group and they performed a romantic comedy in which she and another guy had to act a bedroom scene together. It was all extremely innocent, there was just one kiss in their scene, but the young guy acting opposite her developed an infatuation with F, which she found amusing and flattering in equal measure. I deliberately avoided the live performance and cast party afterwards, as I didn’t want to give F the giggles when she was on stage. F came home late and a little tipsy after the party and told me “ I think S REALLY likes me”. As we made love she told me how he had tried to kiss her at the party and had insisted that they exchange numbers. The next day he texted her and asked her to lunch. I encouraged her to go, but she really didn’t think that would be a good idea.

    About three months ago I asked if she would like to think about joining another acting group. My wife quickly became aroused and our conversation turned to S. F explained that she had felt almost maternal towards him rather than romantic. She asked me how I imagined a situation where she met someone in an acting situation and I described her meeting and being drawn to a guy she found “dangerously attractive” someone she could really fall for, but who she couldn’t resist and where they become passionate lovers, sneaking around, her constantly thinking of him and being with him. My wife came very strongly when we made love and then had me go down on her after I had an orgasm - something she has come to really enjoy over the last 18 months.

    About two months ago we were going through one of those periods in most marriages, where our sex life was a bit quiet and I certainly felt uninspired. When we did make love F seemed locked in her own bubble and I complained that I felt excluded and that what we were doing felt more like mutual mastabation rather than making love. F was upset and we didn’t try to make love again for a week, but when we did (about a month ago) she described what she has been thinking about. She has been fantasising about making love to a young stranger, where she is very submissive to him and he is very commanding. In her fantasy she describes him as”making her do things” - go down on him, be taken from behind etc. That the guy in her fantasy is very muscular and very well endowed. We have only spoken of this fantasy twice, as I have learnt not to press her on her fantasies if I want to keep it light and F feeling like it’s something she wants to share with me. But both times her fantasy has come up F has been incredibly aroused and has cum very intensely.

    Now up to today, and why I am writing.

    Yesterday morning F and I were chatting in bed and talking about our plans for the day. F mentioned that she was going to the gym and I jokingly asked her if “her boyfriend” would be there - an eccentric guy with a huge beard she sometimes chats to in the sauna. All totally innocent. She looked puzzled and asked who I meant. We talked about the bearded guy, who she hasn’t seen in months, and I asked if she gets a lot of male attention at the gym (she is v pretty, ex ballet dancer - slim, great figure, great legs, size 10, very lovely and kind face). I then mentioned one of the personal trainers who I had seen eyeing her when we had last been to the gym together and she said no - but in a way that gave me pause. I then asked if there was anyone else who she liked at the gym, and she mentioned another personal trainer called Tom, who she said she really liked and sometimes chats to. I asked what he is like and she was hesitant, so I reassured her that she knows I find this sort of stuff erotic, so she can be completely open. She described him as a young guy of about 27 who she has known for 7 years, and how in that time he has really filled out and become very muscular and strong. She described how she has a “crush on him” but that it is all very innocent and “I think a lot of the ladies like Tom”.

    What I find interesting about this - interesting enough to write a long and probably v dull entry - is that we were not making love. It was a very mundane, non sexual situation.

    Later when I brought F breakfast in bed (something I do daily) she was playful and tickled me through my boxers, asking if I was turned on. As a joke I said to her “your challenge for today, if you wish to accept it, is to flirt with Tom” to which she replied - “he might not be there”. I said well if he is find an opportunity to flirt with him. My wife just said OK and then I had to go out to see to our child.

    She was out all day yesterday, and when I caught up with her in the evening we were both busy with Easter preparations, so have not had a chance to catch up properly.

    Some advice needed.

    So first up I want to be clear - I do not want to manipulate my wife into having an affair if she doesn’t want it or isn’t comfortable with it.

    I really don’t want my wife to have her heart broken or to be badly treated. I REALLY don’t want to lose her and get divorced, and as a secondary consideration, Tom sounds like a really nice guy - I don’t want his heart broken either.

    At the same time I find the idea of F having a lover both deeply psychologically satisfying on some level that I don’t at all understand, as well as being extremely erotic.

    If there is anyone on this site that has experience of this type of very vanilla type of situation I would really appreciate your thoughts advice and guidance.

    My instinct is to continue as before and just let F take whatever path she wants - even if that means this never moving beyond fantasy. Deep down I would love it if she did take a lover, but I don’t know if she ever will, or how to encourage her to do so without backseat driving. I want this to be her thing or nothing at all.
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  2. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Although it was my fantasy for years before I confessed it to L, she and I role played in bed for a long time before she ever decided to make it real. It was probably between one and two years, with very little encouragement from me except in bed during our playing. When she developed the trust that I wasn't just trying to fuck other women, and that she believed I was serious and had the guts to do it, she eventually found the right guy and decided on her own after she let me know. My advice has always been to let her make the decision about who, when, and where. I believe too many husbands force this on their wives, and even if their wives agree, all too often they do it just to please their husbands. To me this is just coercion, even it appears otherwise. Your wife has to want this, and she must see it as a form of pleasure without guilt or worry. The hottest thing about L having sex with other men is that I know she chooses a guy she finds sexy and feels free of all recrimination. I've had to get used to her being more daring about flirting with men in public, and about what she's willing to do sexually, but that spills over into our sex life as well. We love talking about her time with her lovers while we have sex - it's kept our sex life amazingly alive and vibrant.

    Oh - and there's nothing wrong with keeping this a bedtime fantasy if that's what works for you. It can still add imagination and heat to your sex life.

    Best of luck to you,

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  3. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    Agree 100%. The best way to have your wife expand her sex life and explore her sexuality is to make her feel absolutely secure and comfortable in your marriage and other aspects of her life. Then you make clear that she can do as she pleases without any criticism from you about her choices.

    When I asked Audrey to be my wife despite her having lovers, there was only one condition - that her sex with others would supplement, not displace, our sex life. It has worked out well. She eagerly fucks me whenever I want and there are many stories and memories of sights to excite me.
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  4. nobody

    nobody Member

    Thanks Don and Worth It.

    I appreciate your thoughts. I am slightly baffled at how to proceed. On the one hand I don’t want to take the lead, but I also want F to know that I am okay with her taking a lover in real life.

    Yesterday morning lying in bed my wife asked me if I had dreamt about anything during the night. I had in fact had a very vivid dream of her meeting a lover. I didn’t however describe my dream, just said I had had one and then asked if she had had a dream - and yes she had - about going to bed with a guy, although as she described it they just spooned naked with her holding him. F then pressed me for details of my dream. I described in detail how I had dreamt of them having sex, how her liver dominated and sparked her during sex and how vocal she had been during her numerous orgasms. I was t making it up - that is exactly what I dreamt. When we make love it is always very loving and F is always in charge. My dream turned her on and she had me go down on her to two powerful orgasms.

    Afterwards we had a chat about our dreams and I was very open that, for reasons I can’t explain, I find the idea of her having a lover extremely erotic. We cuddled, she told me how much she loves me and reassured me that she belonged to me.

    Maybe I should simply leave it there.

    But part of me feels that she is very gently testing the waters. L was very flattered by the attentions of S at acting class a year ago, but maybe she didn’t find him attractive enough or challenging enough to see him as a romantic partner.

    She seems to find this personal trainer Tom very attractive, but probably won’t do anything about it.

    I am considering suggesting to her that she tries training with him, without mentioning our previous conversation. Tom almost certainly has a girlfriend, so I very much doubt anything will happen, and F may in any case dislike the idea. But in suggesting it I hope to show her that the door is open and I am happy for her to walk through it, if she wants to.

    Bad idea?

    It’s incredibly difficult to stand outside of the situation and see what to do for the best.
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  5. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    I can only tell you what worked for us. After I told L about my fantasy, I asked her if she ever thought about sex with another man. She was reluctant to say at first, I'm sure because she didn't want me to react negatively. She didn't understand the depth and complexity of the fantasy, that imagining her with a lover was the core of it, not me having sex with another woman. She finally admitted that she used to fantasize about a guy in one of my bands, a singer who usually had any girl in the room if he wanted her. She imagined the two of them sneaking off to his van during one of the band's breaks and fucking, then returning to me inside the club as though nothing happened. I was astonished that she'd tell me this, but also wanted to know more. We began to pretend I was him during sex, she telling me we had to hurry and cum before her boyfriend (me) found them fucking.

    It's important to note that I never pushed or even mentioned I wanted her to make it real. We simply had an amazing time doing slight modifications of the fantasy now and then. Eventually she asked if it would really excite me if she did have sex with another guy, or whether it was just bedtime fun. She asked me if I'd be jealous, and eventually who I imagined her having sex with. I'd turn the question around and to my astonishment, she began to give me a name just before we fucked. Sometimes it was a movie star she had a secret sexual crush on, but other times she'd use people we knew, a few guys she had known or worked with, and even a friend or two of mine. She began to trust that I wouldn't overreact or get jealous when her fantasy guy was someone I knew, even someone she saw every day at work or at the gym. It's important to mention that this was a bedtime game we played infrequently and never talked about outside the bedroom. In fact, I still wasn't sure I wanted it to happen. Would I be jealous? Hell, we were having a great time using the role playing and having sex more and more often. As time passed, I could tell L was more and more excited when we were in the midst of our "pretend" fantasy game. She began include guys closer to us, some at her work, some at mine, and even more of my close friends than I ever imagined she'd admit. I was very happy with where we were. We were having sex more often and her orgasms were stronger than I had ever seen after years of marriage. I just had to be careful not to cum too soon - I was getting my ultimate fantasy, and I wanted our imaginary story to last.

    After a while, L started to quietly tease me about guys we saw in public, strangers she was attracted to, even a friend or two of mine we'd run into that she hadn't met in the past. She'd whisper something quick and dirty about his butt or good looks, and how he must be good in bed. Yes, she'd giggle and poke me in the side when I'd glance around and squirm, but it happened more frequently as time passed. She was a teaser anyway, and it was a natural outlet for her as the internal sexual fantasies were forming and intensifying. As I recall, it took about a year for this to develop, and no one was more surprised than I. It stoked my own fantasies, and elevated them to the point where I considered them coming true - well maybe. Still, I wasn't completely sure I wanted the reality of it - maybe I'd freak out, or maybe it would even damage our marriage. We had a very good thing - the sex was outrageously good.

    Months later I had taken L out to dinner on her birthday, and she had a few drinks - more than she was used to. I still remember her putting away those strawberry daiquiris like there was no tomorrow. That night in bed she wanted to play our game, and the guy she wanted was someone we had met at a friend's party a few weeks before. I knew they had a certain chemistry at the time, but she still surprised me. We pretended I was him and had an amazing fuck session. She kept telling me, "I hope my husband doesn't find us like this, but I can't help it - I just want you so much...". Afterward we were lying side by side when she told me she thought he might be the one - would I be OK if she had sex with him? I offered an enthusiastic "yes!", and it wasn't long before I watched them fuck in our own bed.

    Looking back, for me the important route to where we are was that I never, never pushed the idea, especially out of bed. Maybe it was partially insecurity, but it was much more that I'd feel like I was pimping out my wife if I saturated her with my fantasy. For me, it wouldn't be hot unless she really wanted it and enjoyed it. I had to hear her ask for it. That meant, especially back then, that odds we not good that it would ever happen. But that was OK too. Hearing my once inhibited wife pretend she was having sex with other guys was hot enough. The rest was all her. Seeing him again, then wanting sex more often with him. Spilling her fantasies and the details of their sex together in bed with me. Finally expressing her submissive fantasies and role playing them with him and me, over and over. It just seemed to get easier and more intense for both of us from there.

    But "not pushing" doesn't always mean being stone cold neutral about things. I'd try to be positive when she mentioned other guys. I'd try to show her how excited her comments made me. When guys hit on her, I'd tell her it didn't surprise me because she looked so amazing. I also found I noticed her more when men hit on her, the little details, how she moved, how she was dressed, her hair and makeup - at times it fueled my fantasies imagining what in particular had attracted the guy to her, and of course what they might be like in bed together. And of course, paying more attention to her after years of marriage made her more sexy and desirable to me - there were times when we were out together that I couldn't wait to get home and have sex in the middle of the afternoon. But it wasn't an agenda on my part - it was more like the idea had been integrated into my personality. All of it came naturally, with no expectation or disappointment. Pleasant little sexy surprises that arose and vanished here and there. Seconds or minutes of enjoyment, then life went on. I was never the one who would make it work - that was always to be L, if it happened at all. I always had one foot in a puddle of my fantasy, and could always live with just that. L made the decision - who, where, and when. And she still does.

    I'll sum this up by saying that we all have our personal stories here, and you'll get some good and some bad advice. The best advice I can give is that no one knows your wife like you do. Take what advice you will, but beyond all else, care for her first. Don't lie to her or use her. Tell her your fantasies, but also your fears and insecurities. If you continue down this path, do it as a team. Talk about it during down times, outside the bedroom, when your libido isn't controlling the conversation. In simpler terms, just love her.

    Last edited: Apr 21, 2019
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  6. nobody

    nobody Member

    “The best advice I can give is that no one knows your wife like you do. Take what advice you will, but beyond all else, care for her first. Don't lie to her or use her. Tell her your fantasies, but also your fears and insecurities. If you continue down this path, do it as a team. Talk about it during down times, outside the bedroom, when your libido isn't controlling the conversation. In simpler terms, just love her.”

    Don, I completely agree with this. Thank you so much for your advice and for taking the time to share it with me.

    I particularly appreciate your thoughts on how you encouraged and supported your wife in this journey without seeking to lead or put any pressure on her. So to that end your experience is very helpful to me as I think about how to relate to F and support her if she decides to take this path.

    I probably won’t update again until there is something to say, which maybe a while. Thanks again.
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  7. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    Fortunately, this has never happened to me. When my exwife and I decided to get split, we kept fucking even after the divorce. The sex was good, familiar, easy and was a reason to keep talking. My wife now cucks me, but never denies me her pussy when I want it, which is often.

    Is it a nude sauna? As an American, I'm surprised how many in Europe (the Continent) are.
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  8. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    There's no need for you to be timid about telling her how you feel - you love her and she is free to have a lover. That you wouldn't merely be tolerating it, that you'd like it. Two sentences, that's all it takes. You're over thinking it.

    Having a girlfriend won't stop most guys, having a wife may but certainly not in all cases.
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  9. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Well you have already gotten some great advice from others, especially from Don. I would add a couple things. First on F, as I told another poster on here a few years ago, a potential hot wife who couldn't understand her husband's cuckold desires, worried that he must not really love her, I told her that it was natural she would think that. But it was more likely that the opposite was true.

    The cuckold lifestyle is by definition dependant on the wife\Hotwife. As " Worth it" has stated before, without a wife there is no cuckold (though my wife has passed I still consider myself a cuckold having been one for Decades).The cuckold lifestyle Evolves around the Hotwife and Requires the hubby to the to love her for it to be exciting to him as a cuckold, that she is taking others to bed.

    You need to continue to assure her that it's because you are so deeply in love with her that you want her to live life to the Fullest. We are all here for but a short time and should collect as many Experiences and Adventures as possible in how ever long that time is. We, has Humans are all also Sexual beings that is a part of each and everyone of us. A part that is usually kept to ourselves. But in a good marriage that part can be shared. Each of us have a different Sexual side a successful cuckold marriage has the wife and cuckold hubby having well aligned Sexual sides. With loving comprising on the slight differences.

    Therefore it is your love for her that drives your cuckold desires for her and you to focus on her fully exploring and Experiencing her Sexual side. Your being in a Female led relationship is a Great compliment to the cuckold lifestyle. So that should make it easier for the both of you.

    As for you and the worries that you have stated, again all completely natural. It's usually referred to as Cuckold Angst. You worry about your marriage, you worry about losing her. But that Cuckold Angst makes, in some ways, you a better husband than a Lot of "vanilla" husbands who don't worry about those things thereby making their wives feel non-appreciated, and taken for granted.

    There are risks in a cuckold lifestyle, like losing her to another but those risks are also in every marriage. I believe a cuckold lifestyle can in a way lessen those risks. Most women have the desire to have a safe and stable relationship and home life. But most women also being Sexual beings desire to explore and experience that side of themselves. Sometimes, even often, that leads to cheating and risking the safe and stable home life (this in a somewhat different way applies to hubby cheating often too). Therefore marriages split up for that reason all the time.

    But in a cuckold marriage the Hotwife gets to "Have her cake and eat it too". By the hubby letting her explore and experience her Sexual side Fully while at the same time She is helping hubby explore and experience his Sexual side, his cuckold side. Thereby the combination Strengthens that safe and stable home life. Making her less likely to leave you for another man in that she could lose the ability to Have her cake and eat it too.

    Best of luck to you both and stick around, many of us are interested and some can also learn from You.
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2019
  10. nobody

    nobody Member

    Thank you to everyone for the advice.

    It has been very quiet since I last wrote. Then this morning my wife instigated love making between us. She was in a playful mood - and was very teasing. She told me “you have to ask permission to enter me” and when I did she said no, and we just carried on kissing. I asked several times and she always said no and then told me that I had to really beg if I wanted to make love to her.

    It was quite weird, we had never done anything like that before but we both fell naturally into it and it was fun. Then a little while later I asked if I could cum and she said no, in fact she was only going to let me stay inside her a few more minutes.

    On the spur of the moment I asked if she was missing her trainer (her gym closed down about a month ago) and she said “actually, yes I am”. I asked if she still had a crush on him and she replied “yeah I do, I have a pretty massive crush on him”. I could tell she was really turned on and she was just smiling and directing my movements. I asked again if I could cum and she in turn asked “what are you going to do for me?” I replied “would you like me to book you some personal training sessions with Tom?” To which F smiled and said “Yes, I would like that very much, I want to get a really tight butt”. I was more or less incapable of speaking when F went on “what else are you going to do for me?”. I suggested that I buy her some sexy new work gear and she enthusiastically agreed saying that she would “need” that.

    F was extremely turned on and asked me to go back on my haunches and as I slowly moved back and forth, I asked her if Tom likes her. F said she didn’t know, so I said “do you think he does?” And she said “yeah, I think he really likes me”.

    I asked her to describe what she likes about him, and she described how muscular he is, how he has big arms and shoulders and “beautiful blue eyes”. “Do you want Tom to help you get a really tight butt?” I asked trying to keep my tone light despite nearly having a heart attack , and she said “yeah - I do” whilst smiling and she luxuriated in the pillows. When I asked her if she was going to flirt with him she said “that’s none of your business”. She then told me that she wanted me to pick out her new training clothes to show her before I bought them for her and then she had me go down on her for about an hour.

    I am pretty certain that she wasn’t saying these things just to humour me, and that she was really opening up. Her lack of any embarrassment was almost as astonishing as what she was saying.

    So that’s where we stand. My wife has asked me to book personal training sessions with the guy she “has a massive crush on”.

    I’m a bit stunned frankly.

    Now I have to wok out how to book sessions with him.
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  11. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    It's even hotter that you will be paying Tom to fuck your wife.
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  12. don_jetman

    don_jetman Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Shopping for clothes for her to wear for him can be a very powerful experience, whether it goes further than that or not. It's something the two of you can do together with the very clothes you're helping her use to seduce him. Paying attention to how sexy or extreme she wants to go with the workout gear will also tell you how strongly felt her fantasy is, and maybe even whether she intends to follow through with it. L and I love this because it's something kinky we can do in public, with no one knowing - just the two of us - although there has been a case where the salesgirl in a small private shop now knows our secret due to a few vocal clues from L. It's very hot having her help L choose clothes for her lover, knowing she knows I approve.

    Recalling when we first started, I can imagine you're very excited with her responses to your dreams and encouragement. Savor this - it's perhaps one of the most exciting times that a hotwife husband remembers. Try not to think too much toward the future, which tends to tempt you to push too hard at this point. Relax, take in every word she says, enjoy the inflection of her voice, the look in her eyes, every little movement and manner and how it changes with the ongoing fantasy. If it becomes reality, you will never experience this again - the subtle changes in her, the flowering of her sexual experiments with other men. Try to capture the memories, in your own way. I've chosen to keep personal notes, a rough ongoing diary of our special times, and later use the notes to write more detailed accounts of special events. In a way, by writing here, you're already doing that. Try not to lose any of these first impressions or emotions. They make precious memories.

    L has had some very satisfying experiences with trainers and gym rats, including several local amateur bodybuilders. She too loves their strong, muscular bodies and the way they seem to effortlessly "handle" her in bed. She's found a bit of stereotyping to be true - a narcissistic quality concerning their appearance, an obsession with the amount of time and effort in the gym, and being a sex magnet for all kinds of other women. As L never developed a strong personal chemistry with them due to differences in personalities and tastes, there were never any issues with emotional involvement from either side. For her at least, the sex was purely physical, but very strongly so. Their size, strength, and staying power in bed was what kept her coming back for more. Just be aware that "crushes" can be more complicated, unless your wife is just teasing you with the word.

    If I was in your place, by all means determine how to contact the guy, but I'd have your wife call or make the arrangements. It will send a clue that she's interested in him, and make it more comfortable for him to respond to that in the future. Many guys get nervous and back off if they know the husband is aware of a potential sexual relationship. She should pursue him, not you. It will give her confidence, and develop a bit of the "huntress" instinct - and all that makes her sexier in bed with you.

    I'm glad to see things are going well for both of you. It can be the start of an amazing part of your lives. Just be cool and let her find her way.

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  13. nobody

    nobody Member

    Thanks Don,

    Really helpful advice. I am trying to be relaxed about it and not push it - I really want it to be her thing.

    One of the reasons I am confident that she wasn’t saying those things to tease me or turn me on is that we haven’t done a huge amount of role playing in bed that has been led by me. I have always wanted to go with what turns her on - which in turn I find very erotic.

    This morning we told each other how much we love one another. I am realistic about F developing feelings for Tom. If she has a physical relationship with him, then that is inevitable. It is very scary, but also hugely erotic.

    There is still a huge way to go, but this morning felt like she was levelling with me in a way that was really eye opening. I have even been wondering today if they have already been flirting and kissing. Despite being v socially conservative my wife is also extremely frank and matter of fact - so if she has something in her mind she just says it. I wonder if this is her way of breaking it to me that she is already involved with atom somehow. I’m almost certainly being paranoid.

    Exciting times.
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  14. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Wonderful advice, observations, and remembrances. Especially about the Amazing Power contained in those initial steps into the Adventures of the Hotwife\cuckold Lifestyle.
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  15. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Well I see it more as paying Tom to help her get the Tight Ass that she is obviously planning on using to get Tom and other Men to be More Sexually attracted to her. While also paying for the access and opportunity for her to Seduce Tom into Fulfilling her and her want to be cuckold Fantasies.

    If she is successful Tom won't be climbing between her toned legs for money.
    tiruh811 and Worth It like this.
  16. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Very Nice development. I Loved when my wife would take Charge and Control of our sex, especially my access to her Wonderful pussy.
    She will be gauging your reaction to her words and how she says them. So your responses as well as physical reactions, such as facial expressions and especially your increased excitement and arousal will show her that you are happy with where She is taking your Sexual relationship and are Eager for more.
    tiruh811 and don_jetman like this.
  17. nobody

    nobody Member

    A couple of things before I sign off.

    Firstly my wife has a terrific figure. I don’t think she needs to firm up at all and she has a very pert bottom, it is definitely one of her best features. But women seem to have a different view on these things to guys.

    Secondly, I had to run some errands today and as I was leaving she was changing to go for a run. Nothing particularly odd in that - except the twinkle in her eye as she kissed me goodbye. It felt like she was subtly emphasising the fact that she is keen to look her best when she starts her sessions with Tom.

    I am signing off now until something concrete happens.
    tiruh811 and don_jetman like this.
  18. Pathedick

    Pathedick Well-Known Member Founding Member

    Sorry when I said that she wants Tom to make her Ass Tight to make her More Sexually attractive to Men, I didn't mean that she wasn't already Hot. I was taking into account the way that She was probably thinking. Most Women are always wanting to change something that they think will make them Hotter.
    Her running probably already gave her a Nice Ass. Having been told that I have a Nice Ass I definitely attribute it to running.
    tiruh811 and don_jetman like this.
  19. nobody

    nobody Member

    Apologies for not much in the way of updates. Not much has been happening.

    Since the conversation with my wife where she told me that she wants to start training with Tom, she has not really wanted to talk about it, and I haven’t wanted to push it.
    I followed Don’s advice and suggested that she should be the person to contact Tom, which she agreed with, but so far I don’t think she has and I don’t want to nag her about it or come across as needy and weird.

    In fact she has been quite distant and moody with me and we have only made love a couple of times.

    A couple of things however made me think that Tom is on her mind.

    When we were making love about 10 days ago she was extremely aroused. I was on top and we were silent, just kissing and gazing into each others eyes, when she came very powerfully (which is quite rare for F, who normally only has an orgasm when I go down on her). In the aftershocks of her organs I whispered “were you thinking of him?” And she simply said “yes”. Nothing more was said and I cuddled her to sleep.

    Last night we made love again. F wanted us to lie side by side facing each other, and she again wanted me to spend a lot of time stroking and kissing her and “begging” her to put myself inside her. F wanted to control things and so I was just stroking her back and bottom as she slowly moved back and forth only allowing me to just shallowly enter her.

    Again we were hardly talking but I sensed that she was enthralled with a fantasy. I asked her is she was having “naughty thoughts” and she laughed and said “yes, are you?”. I described a fantasy to her where she had been to see her lover, and they had very passionate sex, that he had been very forceful and demanding and now she had returned to me and we were making love very tenderly and she was in control and enjoying the contrast to her lover.

    F was very turned on as I spoke and soon had me move on top. I asked her if she liked my fantasy and she moaned yes. Then, as I was moving as she guided me she said “I wouldn’t want to tell you about it afterwards. I’d want to keep it a secret”. I think I just groaned OK, and then after a few minutes she said “you know you have to ask permission,”. I had to beg to be “allowed to cum too” - as we both thought about my fantasy.

    I remained hard after I came and F had me go back on my haunches and use my fingers as I moved inside her, which brought her to a v powerful orgasm, and she then had me go down on her for her second.

    We cuddled to sleep telling each other how much we love each other.

    That’s it. A long post about nothing in particular. I think F is processing things, but she is quite enigmatic and I have no real idea what she thinks.
    don_jetman and Evolution like this.
  20. Worth It

    Worth It Well-Known Member

    Audrey and I have discussed that when we're screwing we never think about having sex with someone else, we're both focused on one another, but we both often are thinking about the other having fucked someone else.
    Pathedick likes this.

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