A previous Decades Long Cuckold FINALLY begins a Second Life by Letting The Sissy Gurl Trapped within to Live too. My Sissy Gurl Life Installment 1: My Journey from Previous Long Time Cuckold to Shaved Smooth Sissy Gurl. How it Began. Just about a year and a half ago I took the First Tentative but somehow Determined Steps towards….Well a Second Life I guess. When I took those First Steps, I REALLY had No idea where it would lead. It’s Not a Journey that’s for most people, and in fact most people would not only Not understand it, but I’d bet a fair amount would have a Very negative Opinion about it and me. But Luckily for me, first most of those people wouldn’t be on this forum, but even if some on here have that Negative Opinion, it doesn’t matter, to ME. Because though they are FREE to their Opinion but that’s all it is, Their Opinion. Plus I’m NOT writing this for them, I am writing this for those who might benefit from something in it. So here it goes. Most of you are probably familiar with me, Pathedick, here on the Great Cuckolds Forum. With my VERY Wordy and Detailed Thread about my Decades of my Cuckold Life. I Know it’s so Wordy that it’s not for everyone who just wants to get off. I try to Paint a Picture with my words of both what happened and what I was Thinking and Felt. Plus when I can I add my wife’s thoughts as she conveyed them to me through words or MANY times over read letters. This Thread will be the same, so due to that and it’s subject matter, probably will have a Much smaller audience that my other Thread (which appears to at least attract a Bunch of interest). Never the Less, I feel that SO MUCH has happened in way less than 2 years that I will just BURST if I don’t start posting it. So in my first Installment of My Cuckold Thread I posted a Very Detailed explanation of my Sexuality at a VERY early age, before I could even shoot cum but have an orgasm. It included a complete run down of the thoughts that I had about Women and Men, up to THAT point. You REALLY should go back to that 1st Installment, at Least, to gain that Perspective. That Self Perspective was built from Many Decades of Reflection (I am a VERY Reflective person) . BUT in spite of that, I even was Shocked by What I didn’t REALLY Know about ME. But suspected, and I’m sure my wife did too. But since she isn’t here to see it I can’t know. In fact, MAYBE it’s because she isn’t here anymore that I’ve Finally discovered it. How’s That? Well first I have a Confession to make, I believe (and hope you do too) that it is not an Unforgivable Offense. When I first started posting on this site, I logged on and had NO intention of Recalling and Writing my Cuckold Life with my wife. I in one of my FIRST posts (BEFORE I decided to tell the Cuckold World, by Cuckold Life Story) posted ONE post where I let Fantasy drift into what Actually Happened. Here is the link to it. http://www.cuckoldsforum.com/index.php?threads/humiliating.15468/#post-102527 That post is Almost Entirely TRUE. With One, exception, an Important one though. And that is the part about me cleaning my friend after he fucked my wife and then him giving me the blow up doll to fuck in front of him and my wife. Though the rest is True and my wife told me to fuck the doll, it was Her alone after my friend had left and Yes after I cleaned Her and then inserted the bullet. Though She I and I MANY times talked an Fantasized about my More complete Sissification and sucking and getting Fucked by her Lovers, up to and Including some VERY Wild Sissy scenarios. We Never quite progressed past putting me in panties, thigh highs or even a all over catsuit type stocking, and sometimes a bra. She said that my little dicklet seemed it Belong in Panties instead of my man briefs. Plus her teasing me with her finger about her lover fucking me and then cumming in me to leave us both filled with his sperm. I can’t Really say WHY we never progressed in that particular aspect of our Sexual Relationship when we progressed SO Very Far in so Many aspects of it. I have MANY thoughts on why but can’t answer for sure, even for Me, let alone for Her. Because of that in spite of fantasizing about sucking Cock and being Fucked like a girl from when I was only 11 or 12 years old. My mouth and asspussy were Both Virgin and I was Completely straight, UNTIL Last year. What started Such a Drastic Change in My Life? Well I’ve mentioned my live in girlfriend before in my Thread, in Installment number 12 particularly. As I explained she has made some comments alluding to her NOT being into sex outside of Us, TWO (she suspected due to the Penthouse Letters collection that I couldn’t seem to part with and I used to leave the subscription cards in them marking my Favorite Cuckold stories). Plus after my wife passed, and then I met my girlfriend, between the hurt from the passing and the beginning of a more “Normal” life with my girlfriend I CONVINCED myself, that WHO I was for All those Decades was Not REALLY Who I was. I DENIED it, told myself that it was Only because my wife, starting with those Jealous nights at the disco when we were still starting out had somehow Lead me to that Path. I threw out my panties and other lingerie and MOST of my Cuckold Porn (except the Penthouse Letters which I actually stopped RE-READING, over and over and over). After she had gotten me to become a complete Cum Eater and eat EVERY load that my dicklet got to shoot (as well as her lovers from her body or pussy) I STOPPED eating cum. I Lied to myself an told myself that I didn’t Really like to do that. Worst yet before my girlfriend moved in, Knowing that she’s the Jealous type, I Purged MOST of my past Cuckold Life. Including pictures, videos, and letters. I of course wish I hadn’t now. But a few years later I Luckily discovered I had missed some. It’s only about a dozen over 30 year old Polaroid pictures but it was QUITE the find in that they are the ones that I beat off to Hundreds if Not thousands of times. Especially on that long deployment after she first cuckolded me. They are from that time when she was first cuckolding me including that night I shipped out after Don had fucked her). Anyway over the Years of living with my girlfriend, though I do still love her and lust her, we have had MANY BIG issues to the point that WE both became more and more Unhappy with each other. Why did we stick together, that’s beyond the scope of this thread. But with that Unhappiness, I found myself DRAWN back to WHO I Had been, and WHO I Really think I am, NOW. It was slow, over time. But I started to dabble back into Cuckold stories and porn. A little at a time and slowly increasing. I eventually started not only eating my cum again, but DEVOURING it. Till I was back to eating EVERY single load I shot (but only while beating off, though I wanted to eat my girlfriend after we fucked, I even offered more than once, she only had me do it once and that was when she was drunk). I Rediscovered that I was Sexually Who both I and my wife thought I was. AND then some. Then my girlfriend took a trip out of town and I remember the EXACT date, September 24th, 2012 (the reason I remember it actually has to do with football) I put on one of my girlfriends lacy pink boyshort panties under my boy clothes and even when and visited with one of my daughters and a couple of my grandkids. I remember I squated down to pick one of them up and quickly was scared that she might have spotted the pink panties peaking out). Then I went to a bar to watch the game. I couldn’t believe the way I Felt again. Comfortable, Happy and after it brought me luck (football wise) I started wearing them a lot more (especially during football games). I started out using hers’, not all of them fit me but a lot of them do. It was sometime later that I happened upon this Great Site (Thank You Kingbull and Saturn). Once I started posting My Cuckold Life the Memories came FLOODING back with a Vengeance. Including my (and my wife at least seemed to share them since she was always playing into them) fantasies about Cocksucking and getting Fucked like a girl since as my wife always said “You have a Horny Ass”. Then a bull from this site sent a Private message having to do with me needing to be fucked by a Bull and we started communicating back and forth quite a bit for awhile. With his minor prodding he help me Start to Discover and more Importantly Let Out, a LONG suppressed side of me The Sissy Gurl side of me as well as feeding my Sexual Submissive side even more that ever before. This is ONLY the START, there is MUCH that has happened in less than 2 Years. But I needed to Finally get this out there too. I don’t know, I don’t have a blog and maybe I should start one rather than posting it here (though I am not savvy about that stuff, I’m not even on facebook). I don’t want to bore any fellow Cucks (I’m still a cuck, even if that part of my life is over).